DBZ Know your stars
by Artemis Day
Summary: My way of torturing all my favorite DBZ characters
1. Vegeta

Chap. 1 Vegeta

i _(Vegeta walks into room with KYS chair.)_ /i

VEGETA: uhh…hello, is anyone there?

i _(Sits down in chair, KYS music starts)_ /i

VOICE: Know your stars know your stars know your stars know your stars.

VEGETA: What the hell?

VOICE: Vegeta…he's human.

VEGETA: What? I'm not human; I'm a sayian, the prince of all sayians.

VOICE: Vegeta…has delusions that he is the prince of all sayians.

VEGETA: What! I am not delusional; I really am the prince of all sayians.

VOICE: Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that.

VEGETA: What?

VOICE: Vegeta…he's cheating on Bulma with Chi-chi.

VEGETA: That's ridiculous; I am not cheating on Bulma with Chi-chi.

VOICE: Yes you are.

i _(Suddenly, Bulma appears)_ /i

BULMA i _(very angry_ i : I KNEW IT!

i _(Kicks Vegeta where the sun don't shine if you know what I mean and leaves)_ /i

VEGETA: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

VOICE: Vegeta…he likes to wear frilly pink dresses and pick flowers in the spring.

VEGETA: Okay, what is wrong with you?

VOICE: Me, I'm not the one who wears dresses here.

VEGETA: I DON'T WEAR FRILLY PINK DRESSES AND PICK FLOWERS YOU (CENSORED)

VOICE: Vegeta…he has anger issues.

VEGETA: I DO NOT HAVE ANGER ISSUES!

VOICE: Riiiiiiight, anyways, Vegeta…he's in denial about his anger issues.

VEGETA: for the last time I do NOT HAVE ANGER ISSUES!

VOICE: uh-huh, suuuuuure.

VEGETA: AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH, this is ridiculous, there is nothing in the world that can make this more ridiculous.

i _(Suddenly, Voldemort, Cosmo, Jimmy Neutron, and ZIM all enter, Cosmo holds up a snail.)_ /i

COSMO: look, I found a snail, I'm gonna call him Harry

VOLDEMORT: HARRY! I'LL DESTROY HIM!

i _(takes out wand and kills Harry the snail.)_ /i

COSMO: HARRY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

JIMMY: Hey, that wasn't very nice.

ZIM: who cares? I thought it was hilarious.

JIMMY: Oh yeah, do you find this hilarious?

i _(Takes out ray gun and kills ZIM, Voldemort and Cosmo into a big fight and Jimmy joins in, they all kill each other)_ /i

VEGETA: Okay, _now _there's nothing in the world that can make this more ridiculous.

VOICE: uh-huh, anyways, Vegeta…he likes to make out with his teddy bear.

VEGETA: I don't have a teddy bear, and even if I did, I would not make out with it.

VOICE: yeah…then explain this.

i _(Picture flashes of Vegeta making out with a teddy bear)_ /i

VEGETA: THAT IS NOT REAL!

VOICE: yes it is

VEGETA: NO IT ISN'T

VOICE: yes it is

VEGETA: NO IT ISN'T

VOICE: yes it is

VEGETA: NO IT ISN'T

VOICE: yes it is

VEGETA: NO IT ISN'T

VOICE: no it isn't

VEGETA: YES IT IS

VOICE: no it isn't

VEGETA: YES IT IS

VOICE: no it isn't

VEGETA: YES IT IS

VOICE: no it isn't

VEGETA: YES IT IS

VOICE: no it isn't

VEGETA: FOR THE LAST TIME, THAT PHOTO IS TOTALLY AND COMPLETLY REAL! i _(Realizes what he just said.)_ /i HEY WAIT A MINUTE!

VOICE: Thank you Bugs Bunny

i _(Bugs Bunny appears)_ i

BUGS BUNNY: Don't mention it doc. i _(Leaves)_ /i

VOICE: Now then, Vegeta…he's in love with Goku

VEGETA: WHAT! I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH KAKAROTT!

VOICE: Yes you are, in fact, you're pregnant with Goku's child.

VEGETA: YOU SICKO! I can't get pregnant, only women can.

VOICE: oh, so you're a woman?

VEGETA: NO!

VOICE: Vegeta…is actually a woman who's pregnant with Goku's child.

VEGETA: I am not a woman and I am not pregnant with Kakarott's child.

VOICE: yes you are, which now that I think about it explains why you wear frilly pink dresses.

VEGETA: FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM NOT A WOMAN, I DO NOT WEAR DRESSES AND I AM NOT PREGNANT WITH KAKAROTT'S CHILD, I HATE KAKAROTT AND I HAVE A CHILD WITH BULMA FOR GODS SAKE!

VOICE: Bulma? But she's a woman, oh I get it, you're a lesbian, you'd better tell Goku you're a lesbian because this could ruin you're relationship.

VEGETA:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! i _(Turns super sayian and flies through the roof.)_ /i

VOICE: Now you know Vegeta…the human delusional dress wearing female pregnant lesbian.

Stick around, next time I torture Goku, see you then.


	2. Goku

Chap. 2 Goku

_(Goku enters room and sits down in chair)_

VOICE: know your star know your stars know your stars know your stars

GOKU: Huh? Who said that?

VOICE: Goku…he's anorexic.

GOKU: Huh? What's anorexic?

VOICE: It means you never eat anything

GOKU: That's stupid, I eat all the time, just this morning I had 6 pizzas, 12 hamburgers, 17 hot dogs, and 20 pounds of chicken.

VOICE: Wow, first Vegeta is in denial about his anger issues, and now you're in denial about your eating disorder.

GOKU: I don't have an eating disorder.

VOICE: Riiiiiiight, anyways, Goku…he's plotting to kill all his friends and take over the world.

GOKU: WHAT! I would never do that, what's wrong with you?

VOICE: Goku…he's in cahoots with Stewie to take over the world.

GOKU: who the hell is Stewie?

_(Stewie appears out of nowhere)_

STEWIE: I'm Stewie, and one day I shall take over the world and destroy my mother Lois.

GOKU: Oh great, first an insane voice and now an insane baby.

STEWIE: How dare you you stupid Neanderthal, I shall kill you.

_(Stewie pulls out huge gun and fires at Goku, who deflects it easily)_

STEWIE: BLAST! _(Leaves)_

GOKU: What was the point of that?

VOICE: there wasn't one that was totally pointless. YAY FOR POINTLESSNESS!

GOKU: Okay now I'm positive that there's something wrong with you.

VOICE: anyways, Goku…he wants to quite martial arts in favor of being a pop star.

GOKU: WHAT! I not gonna quit martial arts to be a pop stars, I don't even like pop stars.

VOICE: Goku…he wants to kill all the pop stars so he'll be the only popstar left.

GOKU: Okay, now you're just being crazy, 1. I don't want to be a pop star , and 2. I don't want to kill any off them.

VOICE: But you just said you don't like them.

GOKU: That doesn't mean I want to kill them you wacko

_(Suddenly, the animaniacs appear)_

WAKKO: She's not Wacko, I'm Wakko.

YAKKO: I'm Yakko.

DOT: And I'm Dot, the amazingly cute one

_(Then the security guard guy _A/N: Does anyone remember this guys name? _comes in and chases the warners away)_

GOKU: _(stares blankly for a few seconds then looks up) _more pointlessness?

VOICE: You got it my anorexic friend.

GOKU: I TOLD YOU I'M NOT ANOREXIC!

VOICE: damn, you sayians and your denial.

GOKU: This has got to be the stupidest thing that has ever happened to me.

VOICE: Really? What about the time you were attacked by insane rapid fangirls?

GOKU: What? That has never happened to me, and what's a fangirl anyway?

_(A million fangirls appear and start screaming when they see Goku, Goku screams like a little girl gets up and runs, fangirls chase after him)_

VOICE: Now you know Goku…the anorexic sayian who's going to take over the world.

_(Goku comes running by still being chased by fangirls)_

GOKU: I'M NOT ANOREXIC!

VOICE: Still in denial I see.

Okay…next up…Gohan, please review me and give me some ideas. Thank you to **Chelso **for reviewing chap. 1.


	3. Gohan

_(Gohan enters rooms and sits down in chair, music starts.)_

VOICE: Know your stars know your stars know your stars know your stars

GOHAN: Who's there?

VOICE: Gohan…he hates his mother

GOHAN: Excuse me? I love my mother

VOICE: Then why are you planning to kill her?

_(Chi-chi comes in crying)_

CHI-CHI: Gohan, I can't believe you want to kill me

GOHAN: I don't mom THE VOICE LIES! IT LIES!

VOICE: I love this job

CHI-CHI: Wah! I have no son except Goten

_(Leaves, still crying)_

GOHAN: Mom wait! _(To Voice) _I hope you're proud of yourself, now my mother hates me.

VOICE: Really? Then I am proud of myself.

GOHAN: I hate you

VOICE: Gohan…He didn't really kill cell, Hercule did it for him (thank you **ssj4 broly**)

GOHAN: Okay that is stupid, I killed Cell, Hercule just took credit for it, and he was too stupid to do it himself anyway.

VOICE: But he did

GOHAN: NO! I DID!

VOICE: Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that.

GOHAN: Okay this is so stupid

VOICE: You think this is stupid; well I'll have you know that something even stupider is going to happen in…now

_(Suddenly, Harry Potter, Danny Phantom, Darth Vader, and Simon Cowel appear. Harry, Danny, and Vader all start singing really bad songs really badly at the same time)_

DANNY: DON'T WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME!

HARRY: GET OUT (LEAVE) RIGHT NOW; IT'S THE END OF YOU AND ME!

VADER: THE BEAT OF MY HEART, THE BEAT OF MY HEART, THE BEAT OF MY HEART, IT TEARS US APART!

SIMON: STOP! STOP!

_(They stop)_

DANNY, HARRY, and VADER: How was that?

SIMON: That was atrocious; in fact, I think my ears are bleeding; you three are the worst singer I've ever seen.

_(Danny, Harry, and Vader look at each other and then destroy Simon, then they do their happy dance and leave)_

VOICE: See? Now don't you agree that that was far stupider than anything I've said?

GOHAN: Yes that was extremely stupid.

VOICE: Hmmm…well back to the torture I MEAN…NOT TORTURE!

_(Awkward silence)_

VOICE: ummm…Gohan…he drinks from the toilet

GOHAN: What? Do I look like a dog to you?

_(Suddenly, Gohan turns into a dog)_

VOICE: Yes you do

GOHAN: WTF! YOU TURNED ME INTO A DOG!

VOICE: Right

GOHAN: WHY!

VOICE: Because I can, for I am Artemis Day, THE AUTHOR MWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

_(Lighting flashes and scary music plays)_

GOHAN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! CHANGE ME BACK!

VOICE: Nope

GOHAN: Aw come on, Please…where are you…I know your still there…say something…change me back…hello…hello…you have the wrong number!

VOICE: Wrong show dude

GOHAN: Oh right, sorry…come on…change me back

VOICE: Gohan…is doomed to spend the rest of his days as a dog…MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

GOHAN: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

_(Gohan the dog runs away)_

VOICE: Now you know, Gohan, the half sayian who wants to kill his mother and did not kill cell and is a dog…now! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH- _(Chokes on spit)_

ACK…COUGH…ACK, _(Stops choking, breathes heavily) _huff…huff…gotta lay off on the…huff…evil laughter.

NEXT VICTIM: TRUNKS, stick around and please review with ideas people!


	4. Trunks

_(Trunks sits in chair and…well you know the drill)_

VOICE: Know your stars Know your stars know your stars know your stars

TRUNKS: Uhh…hello?

VOICE: Trunks…he's a…wait a minute, is your name really Trunks?

TRUNKS: uhh…yeah

VOICE: _(Laughs hysterically) _TRUNKS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

TRUNKS: HEY, QUIT LAUGHING AT ME.

VOICE: TRUNKS, who the fuck would be stupid enough to name their kid 'Trunks' HA! Hey Trunks, do you have a sister named 'panties'?

TRUNKS: NO! For your information, my sister's name is Bra.

VOICE: …_ (Falls over laughing) _

TRUNKS: I SAID STOP LAUGHING!

VOICE: I'm sorry but it's just so funny, say what's your last names Trunks?

TRUNKS: uhh…Briefs

VOICE: _(dies laughing) (Silence)_

TRUNKS: uhh…are you still there?

_(Silence)_

TRUNKS: Hello?

_(Still silence)_

TRUNKS: She's gone; I'm all alone…now what?

_(Gohan the dog comes in)_

GOHAN: Hey Trunks.

TRUNKS: uhh…Gohan, do you know that you're a dog?

GOHAN: Yeah it was the uhh…

TRUNKS: Don't tell me, the crazy voice?

GOHAN: Yup

_(Goku staggers in, covered in bruises and his clothes are ripped.)_

GOHAN: OMFG! DAD, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT!

GOKU: i…it was-

TRUNKS: Who Goku, who was it?

GOKU: It was…the…_ (Gasps) _fangirls…_ (Loses consciousness) _

TRUNKS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

GOHAN: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

TRUNKS: OH GOD! THIS CAN'T GET ANY WORSE!

VOICE: _(like that kid from poltergeist) _I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccckkkkkk!

TRUNKS: OKAY! _NOW _THIS CAN'T GET ANY WORSE!

VOICE: alright let's see here…

_(Goku is suddenly healed, he gets up)_

GOKU: hey, I feel better.

VOICE: Oh course you, now then…HEY FANGIRLS!

GOKU: NO!

_(Fangirls come and start chasing Goku again)_

VOICE: Bye anorexic guy!

GOKU: I'M NOT ANOREXIC!

VOICE: Okay…Gohan

_(Stick appears and then is thrown by invisible hand)_

VOICE: FETCH

GOHAN: NO! Must…fight…dog-like…urges…aahhh _(Runs after stick)_

VOICE: Well, now that they're gone we can get back to the fun.

TRUNKS: Fun?

VOICE: Uh huh…Trunks…he's actually a pair of underwear

TRUNKS: Okay, this is ridiculous, just because my name is Trunks doesn't mean I'm underwear.

VOICE: Oh yeah, well I'll have you know that I could turn you into underwear if I wanted to.

TRUNKS: No you can't.

VOICE: Yeah I can, because I am Artemis Day the author.

TRUNKS: What?

VOICE: It's true aren't you wondering why Gohan's a dog.

TRUNKS: Well yeah

VOICE: Right, and if you don't be careful I will use my authory powers to do horrible things to you.

TRUNKS: 'authory' isn't a word

VOICE: HEY HEY HEY, didn't we just go through this? I am the author, and if I say that authory is a word, than its A FUCKING WORD GOT IT!

TRUNKS: I guess

VOICE: Good, now than…Trunks…his mother was stoned when she gave birth to him and that's why she named him Trunks.

TRUNKS: WILL YOU STOP MAKING FUN OF MY NAME!

VOICE: Nope…Trunks…he was conceived in the lingerie department.

TRUNKS: Grrrrrrr…

VOICE: Trunks…after he was born, the doctor his mom that when giving him a bath to remember that he is dry clean only.

TRUNKS: GRRRRRRRRR….

VOICE: Trunks…his one weakness is starch

TRUNKS: THAT'S IT, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND WHEN I DO I WILL KILL YOU

VOICE: yeah maybe, but there's one little problem with that…well actually two!

TRUNKS: YEAH WHAT!

VOICE: 1. I'm a girl, you can't hit a girl…

TRUNKS: grrr…

VOICE: …and two…

_(Suddenly, Trunks is turned into a pair of briefs) (Thank you _**the serial oneshot-er**

VOICE: You can't do anything if you're a pair of underwear…TRUNKS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

TRUNKS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_(Trunks the underwear vanishes)_

VOICE: now you know Trunks, the guy who is now the pair of underwear he truly is…MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

_(Gohan the dog comes in with the stick)_

GOHAN: I got it


	5. Goten

_(Goten walks in room and blah blah blah)_

VOICE: Know your stars know your stars know your stars know your stars

GOTEN: Who's there?

VOICE: Goten…he's gay

GOTEN: What? I'm not gay

VOICE: Then why did you have gay sex with Trunks?

GOTEN: I did not have gay sex with Trunks, just ask him.

VOICE: I would if I hadn't already turned him into underwear. Hehe

GOTEN: You did WHAT!?!?!?!

VOICE: Turned him into underwear see?

_(Trunks the underwear comes in)_

TRUNKS: Hey Goten

GOTEN: wtf! Trunks you're underwear.

TRUNKS: I know damn crazy voice.

VOICE: You know I thought that after turning you into underwear you would have learned not to mess with me but I guess I was wrong. So I'm gonna have to do this.

_(Trunks the underwear magically fells to the floor)_

TRUNKS: That's it? You made me fall to the floor; HA oh I'm soo scared.

VOICE: _(evilly)_ you will be.

TRUNKS: What?

_(Suddenly, the ground starts to shake, then Goku runs by still being chased by the fangirls, they all trampled Trunks the underwear)_

VOICE: So Trunks, you just got trampled by fangirls, how do you feel?

TRUNKS: ow

VOICE: Great, well we'll see you later Trunks.

_(Trunks the underwear disappears) _

VOICE: Okay, back to torturing Goten…Goten…he's got an imaginary pet chipmunk named Mr. Fluffywaffles.

GOTEN: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT!?!?!?!...I mean, no I don't.

VOICE: Yeah you do, and you let it sleep in your bed too.

GOTEN: uhhhh…no I don't.

VOICE: Yeah, then explain this.

_(Picture flashes of Goten sleeping)_

GOTEN: That doesn't prove anything

VOICE: Why not?

GOTEN: Because since Mr. Fluffywaffles is imaginary, he can't show up in pictures.

VOICE: So he's real?

GOTEN: Yes…I mean NO!!

VOICE: _(Snickers)_

GOTEN: grr…You suck

VOICE: nice comeback genius.

GOTEN: GRRR….

VOICE: Goten…what he doesn't know is that his mom is going to make him send Mr. Fluffywaffles to Foster's home for imaginary friends.

GOTEN: WHAT!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

VOICE: Are you done yet?

GOTEN: No not yet…OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Okay, now I'm done

VOICE: Goten…as we speak his mom is shipping Mr. Fluffywaffles to Foster's.

_(Goten starts crying like a baby, and sucking his thumb and calling out or his mommy. The voice is disturbed by this.)_

VOICE: uhhhhh…now you know Goten…the uhhh…emotionally disturbed guy…Okay Goten, you can go now.

GOTEN: _(Like a five year old)_ I want my FLUFFYWAFFLES!

VOICE: uhhh

GOTEN: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

VOICE: uhhh

GOTEN: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

VOICE: SECRUITY!

_(Huge security the popular kids always have with them on "The Fairly Oddparents" comes in and carries Goten away_)

VOICE: Okay…I'm gonna go now and throw up.

Okay people, who should I torture next should it be Cell, Yamcha, Master Roshi, or Frieza. Review me and tell me, and give me some ideas to please.


	6. Cell

**Okay peoples, today I'm posting not one, but two chapters. Aren't I nice? Here's the first one.**

_(Cell sits in chair yada yada ya)_

VOICE: Know your stars know your stars know your stars

CELL: Who's there?

VOICE: Cell…he's a male stripper

CELL: What? That ridiculous, I am not a male stripper…technically I'm not even male.

VOICE: Oh okay…Cell…she's a female stripper.

CELL: You don't get it, I'm not male, I'm not female, and I'm certainly not a stripper.

VOICE: Cell…he's in love with Gohan but never told him. _(Thank you _**yondaime-kun**

CELL: WHAT!?!?! That is not true, I hate that brat, and he killed me.

VOICE: But you thought that was very sexy.

CELL: YOU ARE INSANE!

VOICE: Yeah, well who's the male/female stripper who's in love with Gohan here?

CELL: I'M NOT A STRIPPER AND I DON'T LOVE GOHAN!

VOICE: Wow, it's not just the sayians who are in denial, all you DBZ characters are.

CELL: Okay, that's it, where are you? I'm going to find you and kill you.

VOICE: Oh I'm soooooo scared, the guy who couldn't even kill his eleven year old lover is gonna kill me, oh no.

CELL: How many times do I have to tell you? I don't love Gohan, now where are you.

VOICE: Oh…just follow the spiders.

CELL: What spiders?

VOICE: Those spiders.

_(Cell sees spiders and follows them to Aragogs lair.)_

ARAGOG: What do you want?

CELL: I'm looking for the crazy voice who's been torturing me.

ARAGOG: You mean Artemis Day?

CELL: Yeah, that's her.

ARAGOG: Oh, she lives next door

CELL: Thanks.

_(Cell goes to house next door and rings the doorbell. Huge raygun pops out of ground.)_

COMPUTER VOICE: Star Wars character, prepare to be vaporized in 5…4…

CELL: AAHH I'M NOT A STAR WARS CHARACTER! I'M CELL! CELL!

COMPUTER VOICE: Voice recognized…Cell

CELL: Whew, that was close.

_(Big raygun goes away and even bigger raygun appears)_

COMPUTER VOICE: Cell…prepare to be vaporized in 5…4…

_(Cell screams like demented fangirl and runs away.)_

COMPUTER VOICE: darn it, and I really wanted to vaporize something today.

_(Luke Skywalker comes walking by and is vaporized.)_

COMPUTER VOICE: Yay!

_(Meanwhile, Cell runs back into chair.)_

VOICE: Having fun? _(Snickers)_

CELL: no

VOICE: Well then, we'll just keep going…Cell…he quit being a stripper so he could be a banana

CELL: Okay…that is so pointless I'm not even going to comment on it.

VOICE: Cell…he loves Gohan so much, he wrote a song about it.

CELL: What? I did not, I don't love Gohan.

VOICE: You did to…and now you will sing it for us.

CELL: I am not, and you can't make me.

VOICE: Oh yeah…IMPERIO!

_(Cell is now under the voice's control.)_

VOICE: Now, sing the song.

CELL: _(In really bad voice) _I love Gohan so much, no one loves Gohan more than meeeeeeeee!!!! I want to marry Gohan and kill anyone who doesn't him. Because IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

VOICE: _(Snickers) _

AMERICAN IDOL PEOPLE: _(Fall down dead)_

OTHER DBZ CHARACTERS: _(Vomit)_

EVERYONE ELSE: _(Dies laughing)_

VOICE: Okay, that was disturbing…now Cell will sing 'barbie girl'

CELL: No I won't

VOICE: You have to, you're still under my control so SING BARBIE GIRL!

CELL: _(Sings in high-pitched girl voice and dances badly.) _I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world, wrapped in plastic, it's fantastic, you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere, imagination, life is your creation, I'M A BARBIE GIRL, IN THE BARBIE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDDD!

VOICE: Now you know Cell…the singing, dancing, male/female stripper who loves Gohan.


	7. Frieza

**Here's no. 2 of my double post.**

_(You know what happens, why do I still do this?)_

VOICE: Know your stars know your stars know your stars know your stars

FREIZA: Hello?

VOICE: Freiza…he's half alien, half kitchen appliance

FRIEZA: What, why don't you prove it?

VOICE: Okay, let's look at your birth certificate…hmmm…yup, according to this, your father was actually a refrigerator…oh, it also says your real name is Sheldon.

FRIEZA: THAT IS NOT MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE, MY FATHER WAS KING COLD!

VOICE: Nope, he was your step dad, your mother left your father and he got sold to a family in a trailer park in Mississippi.

FRIEZA: That's absurd!

VOICE: Maybe, but it's true Sheldon.

FRIEZA: MY NAME IS NOT SHELDON AND EVERYTHING YOU SAY IS A LIE!

VOICE: _(sighs) _more denial.

FRIEZA: grrr

VOICE: Frieza…his grandfather was the iceberg that sunk the Titanic.

FRIEZA: What? No he wasn't

VOICE: How would you know Sheldon, you failed history 857635262019376563012827464821937646381917364716254759078099573562541426496793656398675918920589274638267163748360160649016509865986901671046178645897365023470651609165096509609619116876158761876518716765986507977846252515192836456351289102937465462983040474656282190193747563625141324789667167120982789268762876257628629216262986289762502022788972029876029078265986981026290869802769875987625464398798012786520970928109868096458574867462710204948701270896149067159245097254091456970762780927809278095412079825789015789017890154789054798020257890541681509760127472908267091610175027020710986965904059717283897108191786486546502827615643654960583672635362819172623561153242372387234674625216182747548659608978607968476251424364657568689708089800896789574632512414263748589697908968547463252141532748589697089567846256154264855909287690268509286402650928650982659083465983465137890280965908690180911695016489698456656100816501465861986596598616810916016016810986518645896198619861987518658965896589651986951659 times.

FRIEZA: No no, I only failed history 489282760260216711782189762879658761709191267965547864579685487961587654178415471090192937464589219101927346546532517191929507883625142438950794382761985097890291816256490595696583762704192301437210403129017920739140519270451045549047850744719085109744709807419254097814209341784178081472074801418090841741057656362171892030586767392910029038575663829173646567573736769789816897617856758169874617568768915615618964189764875875487638467354873647893654398756476531753159198758164398723658734875148795389578376487354875387563587634876357863897462837165874518756187647863751457858972365498765716375897354892736548734897326435874658791256819564871564871634781617857617895691754187956785379845679841962315437541786578641876875168741658716578745784578351497617984978287378436817247826587538236484363 times.

VOICE: What's the difference Sheldon

FRIEZA: STOP CALLING ME SHELDON!

VOICE: Sheldon…he likes to watch porn on the internet.

FREIZA: No I don't, my brother Cooler's the one who does that.

VOICE: Yeah, suuuuuuure

FRIEZA: I hate you

VOICE: I don't care.

FRIEZA: I'm leaving.

VOICE: WHAT!?!?! You can't leave, I'm not done torturing you yet.

FREIZA: Yeah, well I don't care, I'm out of here!

_(Frieza leaves)_

VOICE: COME BACK! I NEED SOMEONE TO TORTURE! OKAY FINE, GO AHEAD AND GO, SEE IF I CARE…COME BACK! Aw man…now what?

_(Box ghost comes in)_

BOX GHOST: I AM THE BOX GHOST!

_(The voice destroys the box ghost)_

VOICE: Hey, I feel better now!

**Okay, no more today, but I'll post more in a few days, don't forget to review, and thank you to 'yondaime-kun, The Serial Oneshot-er, Anoke, Videl1212, angeloftorment, ssj4 broly and Crying in Solice-Dark angel-' for reviewing the last five chapters. Bye-bye peoples!**


	8. Master Roshi

_(Master Roshi. Chair.)_

_(Silence)_

MASTER ROSHI: Ehh…Hello?

_(More silence)_

MASTER ROSHI: Hello?

_(Still silence)_

MASTER ROSHI: Hello?

VOICE: BOO!

MASTER ROSHI: _(Screams and falls of chair. Gets back up)_

VOICE: _(Snickers)_

MASTER ROSHI: WHAT DID YOU THAT FOR?!?!

VOICE: because…

MASTER ROSHI: Because what?

VOICE: Because it's Halloween, duh!

MASTER ROSHI: That doesn't mean you can go scaring people like that!

VOICE: Yeah, whatever so anyway since its Halloween, today we have a guest torturer, please welcome…DANNY PHANTOM!

DANNY: Hi

VOICE: Okay Danny, since you're the guest, you can go first.

DANNY: Okay, umm…Master Roshi…he hates women

MASTER ROSHI: What? That's crazy, I love women, especially hot women.

VOICE: Master Roshi…he's the most shallow man in the universe.

MASTER ROSHI: Oh come on, I may be shallow but I'm sure there are people out there shallower than me.

DANNY: Nope, there aren't any.

VOICE: Yeah…but there used to be.

MASTER ROSHI: There was?

DANNY: There was?

(Voice stomps on Danny's foot.)

VOICE: Yes of course Danny. You know that.

DANNY: I do... Oh, yeah I do, uh huh I knew that.

MASTER ROSHI: Who was it?

VOICE: Oh, you don't want to hear it, it's uh…really scary.

DANNY: Yeah, what she said.

MASTER ROSHI: Tell me.

VOICE: Well okay…his name was uhh…

DANNY: Marty McNoodleman

VOICE: _(Whispers) what?_

DANNY: _(Whispers)_ well I had to say _something._

VOICE: uhh right…anyway, Marty…McNoodleman was really shallow, he only went out with supermodels, and he broke a lot of hearts.

DANNY: He was very handsome.

VOICE: So one day this girl he knew told him that she loved him, but she was kind of plain.

DANNY: So he turned her down.

VOICE: Yeah, and laughed in her face too. But what he didn't know was that girl was a witch, and she put a curse on him turning him into the most ugly creature in the world, so he never got a date again.

DANNY: And then he died in a tragic uhh…

VOICE: Library accident!

MASTER ROSHI: Library accident?

VOICE: Yeah, a bookshelf fell on him. Now his spirit roams the earth trying to get a date with a hot supermodel, but he can never get one, because he's DEAD!

MASTER ROSHI: That's got to be the stupidest, most un-true story I've ever heard.

DANNY: You shouldn't say that about Marty McNoodleman.

VOICE: Yeah, because if you do, he'll uh…come and kill you with his uh…

DANNY: EVIL NOODLES OF DOOM!

_(Scary music plays and lightning flashes.)_

VOICE and MASTER ROSHI: _(blank stares at Danny)_

DANNY: What?

MASTER ROSHI: Evil noodles of doom?

DANNY: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhh, right Artemis?

VOICE: uh…right sure, evil noodles of doom.

MASTER ROSHI: Okay, now I'm sure you're making this up.

VOICE: Okay you're right, we were.

_(suddenly, huge thumping is heard followed by creepy laughter.)_

VOICE: Or were we?

DANNY: Yeah?

MASTER ROSHI: O-okay, stop that, i-it isn't funny.

_(lights go out)_

MASTER ROSHI: AAAAHHH!

VOICE: Master Roshi…he's scared of the dark.

MASTER ROSHI: n-n-n-n-n-no i-i-I'm n-n-n-not

DANNY: Yeah you are…oh my gosh, WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU!

MASTER ROSHI: WHAT? WHERE?

VOICE: Over there

DANNY: Is that?

VOICE: Yes it is.

DANNY: RUN MASTER ROSHI RUN, IT'S THE EVIL NOODLES OF DOOM.

MASTER ROSHI: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

_(Master Roshi gets up and runs away)_

VOICE and DANNY: _(fall over laughing)_

VOICE: That was great!

DANNY: Yeah, I can't believe he actually fell for that.

VOICE: I know, I mean come on, 'Evil Noodles of Doom?' How lame is that?

DANNY: Oh come on I had to think of something and it was the first thing I thought of.

VOICE: Well whatever, it worked out great, and you turning off the lights really helped.

DANNY: What? I didn't off the lights, I thought you did.

VOICE: No. I thought you did.

DANNY: So neither of us did it.

VOICE: But then…who did?

MARTY McNOODLEMAN: Guess who? (laughs evilly)

VOICE and DANNY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

_(Voice and Danny run off)_

MARTY McNOODLEMAN: hehehehehe…Happy Halloween!


	9. Bulma

_(You know what happens here)_

VOICE: Know your stars know your stars know your stars

BULMA: Who's there?

VOICE: Bulma…she lurves Goku

BULMA: Pardon me? I don't love Goku, and lurve isn't even a word.

VOICE: Don't care…Bulma…cheated on Vegeta with Goku and then with Yamcha, and then with Krillen, and then with Tien and then with…you know what? Let's just shorten this…Bulma…she's a filthy whore.

BULMA: I am not, I would never cheat on Vegeta, and I love him.

VOICE: Why he's a jerk.

BULMA: Yeah but you've never been in bed with hi-

VOICE: HEY HEY HEY! Who's torturing who here? Shut up!

BULMA: hmph!

VOICE: Anyways…Bulma, she's on crack!

BULMA: WHAT!?! I am not!

VOICE: Then what in gods name processed you to name your children 'Trunks' and 'Bra'?

BULMA: I happened to like those names.

VOICE: But do you know what those are?

BULMA: Well…yeah

VOICE: Well then, I think that proves it.

BULMA: Proves what?

VOICE: THAT YOU'RE A POTHEAD!!

BULMA: I AM NOT A POTHEAD!

VOICE: are too

BULMA: are not

VOICE: are too

BULMA: are not

VOICE: are not

BULMA: are too

VOICE: are not

BULMA: THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'M GOINGTO TELL YOU. I. AM. A. POTHEAD!...HEY WAIT!

VOICE: wow, I used that same trick on Vegeta and he fell for it to, you have a lot in common, now I why your together.

BULMA: grrr…

VOICE: Bulma…her IQ is that of tree stump.

BULMA: Okay that is not true, I have an extremely high IQ, how else can I build all those capsules and stuff?

VOICE: You don't

BULMA: oh, and who does?

VOICE: The fairies…you enslaved them.

BULMA: fairies? What fairies?

_(Suddenly, the fairies appear.)_

WANDA: What fairies? We've been slaves for 10 years and you still don't know us Bulma?

COSMO: Yeah, now I'm all sad.

JORGEN VON STRANGLE: I JORGEN VON STRANGLE, SHALL NOW DESTROY YOU'RE PUNY HUMAN FEMALE BODY, WITH MY AMAZINBG MUSCLES! _(flexs muscles)_

BULMA: wow, if I weren't so scared now, I would think you were so hot.

WANDA: LET'S GET HER!

BULMA: Hah, I not scared of you, I have friends that could kick you butts any day of the week!

COSMO: yeah, who?

BULMA: Well, there's my husband Vegeta, and my son Trunks, my friend Goku, and his two sons Gohan and Goten.

VOICE: They can't help you.

BULMA: Oh, and why not?

VOICE: Because I pissed off your husband and he flew to Pluto, I had Goten commited, and as for the others well…see for yourself.

_(Gohan the dog and Trunks the underwear come in)_

TRUNKS: Hey mom

GOHAN: Hi Bulma

BULMA: What the hell? Trunks, you're underwear, and Gohan you're a dog.

GOHAN: We know.

BULMA: How did this happen?

TRUNKS and GOHAN: crazy voice

VOICE: hehehehe

BULMA: Well, where's Goku?

_(Goku runs by with fangirls on his tail, figuratively speaking of course)_

GOKU: HEY BULMA CAN'T TALK, GOTTA DITCH THESE FANGIRLS!

VOICE: Goku how's the anorexia going?

GOKU: I TOLD YOU I'M NOT ANOREXIC!

VOICE: this denial is driving me nuts.

_(Goku leaves, so do Gohan the dog and Trunks the underwear)_

VOICE: well, looks like you'll just have to face the fairies.

JORGEN VON STRANGLE: ENOUGH TALIKING, WE DESTROY BULMA NOW!

_(Fairies charge, Bulma screams.)_

VOICE: WAIT A MINUTE!

_(Everyone stops)_

WANDA: What do you want Artemis? We're kind of busy here.

_(Other fairies nod in agreement)_

VOICE: Look, I understand that you want to kill Bulma but you see, I don't allow people to hurt/kill/torture females in here…unless it's me doing it of course.

BULMA: Oh thank god.

FAIRIES: aw man

VOICE: I'm sorry guys but you can't hurt Bulma since she is female.

BULMA: yay

VOICE: So we'll just have to do something about that.

BULMA: What?

_(Suddenly, Bulma is turned into a man)_

VOICE: Congratulations Bulma, you are now…BULMO!

BULMA: WTF!! What happened to my feminine curves?

VOICE: Didn't you just hear me Bulmo, you're a guy now, you don't have feminine curves.

BULMA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

VOICE: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

FAIRIES: NOW CAN WE HURT HER…HIM…HER/HIM?

VOICE: absolutely

BULMA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

FAIRIES: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

_(Fairies carry Bulma who is now Bulmo away)_

VOICE: Now you know Bulmo…the male crack addicted whore whose dumb as a stump and enslaves fairies.

_(Gohan the dog comes in)_

GOHAN: uhh…hello

_(Stick is thrown and Gohan the dog chases it, then Goku and fangirls run by, then singing dancing cell does backflips across the stage.)_

VOICE: Okay, I'm bored now.

_(Voice leaves)_


	10. Yamcha

_(Yamcha in chair)_

VOICE: Know your stars know your stars know your stars know your stars

YAMCHA: Hello?

VOICE: Yamcha…everyone hates him

YAMCHA: What? That's not true, people love me

VOICE: Yeah sure they do

YAMCHA: Hey, you're not very nice

VOICE: Yeah, what are you gonna to about it?

YAMCHA: Ummmm…

VOICE: Anyways…Yamcha…he never loved Bulma, he only wanted her for her money.

YAMCHA: Okay that is not true, I did to love Bulma, it just didn't work out

VOICE: because you were gay with Tien

YAMCHA: WHAT!?!?! I was never gay with Tien, I've never been gay with anyone you crazy voice

VOICE: Right…Yamcha…he would go gay for Vegeta

YAMCHA: didn't you just hear me, I'm not gay and I never will be, besides, why would I go gay for Vegeta.

VOICE: Because you love him.

YAMCHA: Do not

VOICE: Yamcha…he has a shirt that says 'I love Vegeta' on it.

YAMCHA: Yeah, prove it

_(Picture flashes of Yamcha wearing 'I love Vegeta' shirt)_

YAMCHA: THAT IS FAKE

VOICE: Denial

YAMCHA: you suck

VOICE: uh-huh…and now for something completely pointless.

_(Spongebob, Stitch, Snape, and GIR enter)_

SPONGEBOB: HEY GUESS WHAT?

SNAPE: What?

GIR: Monkey!

STITCH: Gabba!

_("Best day ever music plays")_

SPONGEBOB: IT'S THE BEST DAY EVEERRRRRRR! IT'S THE BEST DAY EVER! IT'S THE BEST DAY EVER! IT'S THE BEST DAY EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

STITCH: Stitch scared

SNAPE: Ditto

GIR: Chocolate!

SPONGEBOB: IT'S THE BEST DAY EVER! IT'S THE BEST DAY EVER!

_(1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 'best day evers later)_

SPONGEBOB: IT'S THE BEST DAY EVER! IT'S THE BEST DAY EVER!

SNAPE: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE

STITCH: MEEGA NIETHER

GIR: HOTDOG

_(Snape, Stitch and GIR grab Spongebob, tied him up and then blow him to pieces, then they blows the pieces to pieces and so on and so forth, then they leave)_

YAMCHA: That was painful

VOICE: I know, well back to the torture Yamcha…he loves Vegeta so much, he dreams about sleeping with him

YAMCHA: I do not!

VOICE: Sure you do

YAMCHA: this is ridiculous, I don't love Vegeta.

VOICE: Yamcha…he never told Vegeta he loves him because he didn't think Vegeta would love him back.

YAMCHA: I DON'T LOVE VEGETA!

VOICE: Yamcha…I bringing Vegeta here so you can tell him how you feel

YAMCHA: WHAT!?!

_(Vegeta appears)_

VEGETA: Why am I back in this place? (Sees Yamcha) What are you doing here.

VOCIE: He's my victim today

VEGETA: Uh-huh, well goodbye

VOICE: HOLD IT! Who said you can leave, Yamcha hasn't even told you how he loves you yet.

VEGETA: Well guess what, I don't ca- wait, did you say Yamcha loves me?

VOICE: Yes, tell him Yamcha

YAMCHA: I don't love Vegeta, you're lying

VEGETA: He does not love me, and even if he did, I would not care.

YAMCHA: and in case you haven't noticed, we never even talk because we hate each other.

VEGETA: There is no way that he loves me.

VOICE: Yamcha…I guess he really doesn't love Vegeta after all

YAMCHA: That's right

VOICE: _(sighs) _Well, I'll be going now, sorry to have bothered you.

_(Voice leaves)_

VEGETA: Well, glad we got that straightened out, right Yamcha?

_(Yamcha just stares at him)_

VEGETA: uhh…Yamcha…Yamcha?

YAMCHA: I love you

VEGETA: WHAT!?!?!

YAMCHA: It's true Vegeta, I've always loved you but was to scared to say anything, but that crazy voice made me realize that it was time to tell you how I feel now…KISS ME YOU FOOL!

_(Yamcha attempts to kiss Vegeta, who screams like a little girl and runs)_

YAMCHA: COME BACK MY LOVE!

_(Yamcha runs after him)_

VOICE: _(Who never actually left and saw everything) _Now you know, Yamcha…the guy who really loves Vegeta after all


	11. Krillin

_(Krillin's turn!)_

VOICE: Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars

KRILLIN: …

VOICE: Krillin…he's a leprechaun

KRILLIN: uh…I'm not a leprechaun

VOICE: Then why are you so short?

KRILLIN: That's just the way I am.

VOICE: Uh-huh…Krillin…he's married to a robot.

KRILLIN: Technically, she's an android, how else could we have a daughter?

VOICE: Adoption.

KRILLIN: Marron's not adopted.

VOICE: Says you.

KRILLIN: What?

VOICE: Krillin…his daughter is adopted and his wife is a robot and he's a leprechaun.

KRILLIN: For the last time, I'm not a leprechaun, Marron's not adopted, and my wife is an android, not a robot, got it?

VOICE: Yeah

KRILLIN: good.

VOICE: Anyways...Krillin…he and his robo-wife like to smoke pot together at the end of the rainbow while swimming in Krillin's pot of gold.

KRILLIN: I'M NOT A LEPRECHAUN!

VOICE: This denial is giving make a headache.

KRILLIN: GRRR…

VOICE: Krillin…he's a cross dresser.

KRILLIN: That's worse than the leprechaun thing, I'm not a cross dresser.

VOICE: Krillin…he likes to wears his daughter's doll clothes.

KRILLIN: I'M NOT A CROSSDRESSER AND I MAY BE SHORT BUT I'M NOT THAT SHORT.

VOICE: uh huh…Krillin…he's about to be emotionally scarred for life.

KRILLIN: What do you mean?

_(Suddenly, Vegeta runs in looking very scared.)_

KRILLIN: Vegeta? What happened to you?

VEGETA: HIDE ME!

KRILLIN: From whom?

VEGETA: Yamcha! He's in love with me and he won't stop chasing me.

KRILLIN: Wait, did you just say Yamcha's in love with you?

VEGETA: ARE YOU DEAF!?!?! YES!

KRILLIN: Oh come on Vegeta, I'm sure Yamcha's not in love with you.

_(Suddenly, Yamcha's voice rings out from far away.)_

YAMCHA: VEGETA!

VEGETA: THERE HE IS, HIDE ME.

KRILLIN: Where is he?

VEGETA: I think he's standing out that window.

_(Krillin and Vegeta go over to window and look out at Yamcha.)_

VEGETA: _(Whispering)_ you see, there he is.

KRILLIN: Oh stop that, he is not in love with you.

YAMCHA: But soft, what light through yonder window breaks, it is the east, and Vegeta is the sun.

VOICE: _(Vomits)_

OTHER PEOPLE: _(Die laughing again)_

VEGETA: _(Faints)_

KRILLIN: _(Is emotionally scarred for life)_ No amount of therapy will ever make this alright.

VOICE: Yup…Krillin…when he's not busy cross-dressing in his adopted daughters clothes or being a leprechaun, or being with his robot wife, he likes to tease wild animals.

KRILLIN: WHAT!?!?!?!

_(Then Plankton randomly appears)_

PLANKTON: I WILL RULE THE WORLD!

_(Then Goku and Fangirls come running by_ A/N: He he, this sorta thing happens all through the fic. _and trample Plankton)_

PLANKTON: Ouch

KRILLIN: What was that?

VOICE: Eh, just something I felt like doing.

KRILLIN: Riiiiiiight

VOICE: Krillin…he's a…Oh my god…what is that?

KRILLIN: What? What is what?

VOICE: Oh no…it can't be.

KRILLIN: What?

VOICE: KRILLIN, THOSE KIDS ARE STEALING YOUR LUCKY CHARMS!

KRILLIN: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NOT MY LUCKY CHARMS!

VOICE: _(Snickers)_

KRILLIN: HEY, WAIT A MINUTE…I DON'T HAVE LUCKY CHARMS…I'M NOT A LEPRECHAUN!

VOICE: Krillin…he's in denial about being a leprechaun.

KRILLIN: I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU AGAIN, I'M NOT A LEPRECHAUN!

_(Suddenly, Krillin turns green)_

VOICE: Then why are you green like a leprechaun?

KRILLIN: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! I'M GREEN!

_(Krillin runs away to hide from people)_

VOICE: Now you know Krillin…The denial-prone, cross-dressing leprechaun who adopted his daughter and has a robot wife.

_(Vegeta wakes up)_

VEGETA: Uh…Hello?

_(A big rock falls on Vegeta's head and he goes unconscious again.) _

**Wow! I just noticed that its 12:28 here and I'm still up, and I have school tomorrow, oh well, please review!**


	12. Piccolo

_(Piccolo time!)_

VOICE: Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars

PICCOLO: Who's that?

VOICE: Piccolo…he's green

PICCOLO: uhh…yeah, I know, everyone knows that.

VOICE: Piccolo…actually, he's not really green, he's pink.

PICCOLO: What are you talking about? I'm green, can't you see?

VOICE: Sure I can see…that you colored your pink skin green

PICCOLO: I did not color my skin green, I was born this way!

VOICE: Piccolo…he doesn't like to be called Piccolo, he likes to be called Sally.

PICCOLO: Uhhh…what?

VOICE: Sally…he loves boy bands.

PICCOLO: WHAT!?!?! I hate boy bands.

VOICE: Oh really, then why do you have every single Backstreet Boys album ever made?

PICCOLO: I do NOT!!

VOICE: Oh yeah, then explain this

_(Picture flashes of Piccolo with his Backstreet Boys collection)_

PICCOLO: THAT'S FAKE!

VOICE: uh huh, suuuuuuuuuuure

PICCOLO: GRRRR…

VOICE: Sally…he-

PICCOLO: WILL YOU STOP CALLING ME SALLY!

VOICE: Nope, Sally…he hates Gohan and wants to murder him.

PICCOLO: That's not true, I would never try to kill Gohan!

VOICE: Piccolo…do you like dogs?

PICCOLO: uhh…no why?

VOICE: Well…

_(Gohan the Dog walks in)_

GOHAN: Hey Piccolo

PICCOLO: OH MY GOD GOHAN, YOU'RE A DOG!

GOHAN: The voice did it.

VOICE: I really love this job

PICCOLO: But you can't be a dog, I hate dogs.

GOHAN: _(Crying) _You don't like dogs, but I'm a dog…YOU HATE ME! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

_(Gohan the dog runs away)_

PICCOLO: WAIT, GOHAN, I DON'T HATE YOU, I- aw man.

_(Suddenly, Sandy, Dee Dee, Cartman, Kyle, Stan, Kenny, and Gilderoy Lockhart enter.)_

LOCKHART: Hey, wanna see my perfect teeth?

EVERYONE ELSE: No

LOCKHART: OKAY! (Smiles, supernaturally shiny teeth causes everyone to be blinded and shield their eyes, except for Kenny who looks directly at the light and explodes)

STAN: OH MY GOD, YOU KILLED KENNY!

KYLE: YOU BASTARD!

_(Sandy then 'karates' Lockhart to smithereens)_

CARTMAN: THIS IS RIDICULOUS, SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOING HOME!

DEE DEE: _(Sees a button) _OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH What does this button do?_ (Dee Dee pushs the button and everyone explodes except Piccolo and the Voice.)_

PICCOLO: Uhhhh…

VOICE: Pointlessness

PICCOLO: Oh

VOICE: Anyways, Sally…what he never told anyone is that he's not really a Namekian…HE'S A CHRISTMAS ELF!

PICCOLO: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I'M NOT A CHIRSTMAS ELF!

VOICE: Sure you are, you worked at the North Pole and everything, Santa's looking for you you know.

PICCOLO: Not he he's not, I'm not a Christmas elf.

_(Suddenly, Santa appears in his sleigh)_

SANTA: PICCOLO! There you are, I've been looking for you.

PICCOLO: What?

SANTA: It's time to come back to the North Pole.

_(Grabs Piccolos arm and drags him into the sleigh)_

PICCOLO: NO, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I'M NOT A CHRISTMAS ELF! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

_(Santa flies off in his sleigh with a still screaming Piccolo)_

VOICE: Now you know, Piccolo…the pink skinned, dog hating, boy band loving Christmas Elf who likes to be called Sally.

**R&R Please **


	13. Tien

**Guess what, I'm doing not one post, or two posts, but THREE POSTS! Merry Christmas!**

_(Tien is first)_

VOICE: know your stars know your stars know your stars know your stars

TIEN: What's going on?

VOICE: Tien…that third eye is fake

TIEN: uhh…no it's not

VOICE: Yeah it is, you painted it on.

TIEN: I did not

_(Suddenly, Tien's third eye vanishes)_

VOICE: Then why does it come off so easily?

TIEN: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME MY THIRD EYE BACK!

VOICE: nope

TIEN: PLEASE

VOICE: nope

TIEN: PLEASE

VOICE: fine, you big baby.

_(Third eye reappears)_

TIEN: thank you

VOICE: Tien…he hasn't bathed in twenty years

TIEN: What, that's not true, I bathed just yesterday

VOICE: suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure

TIEN: you're really annoying, you know that?

_(Silence)_

TIEN: uh…hello?

_(Silence)_

TIEN: hello?

_(Suddenly, the Fenton ghost gabber appears)_

TIEN: What is that?

GHOST GABBER: What is that?...fear me

TIEN: Why is it repeating what I say?

GHOST GABBER: Why is it repeating what I say…fear me

_(Then Jack Fenton appears)_

TIEN: Who the heck are you?

GHOST GABBER: Who the heck are you…fear me

JACK FENTON: GHOST!

_(Takes out ghost hunting weapon and starts shooting at Tien, who screams and runs, Jack chases him across the stage shooting at him but then runs out of ammo)_

JACK FENTON: DARN IT!

_(Jack Fenton leaves to get more ammo)_

TIEN: _(Is totally exhausted from running)_

VOICE: _(snickers)_

TIEN: WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT!?!?!?!

VOICE: there was no point. I just like doing it.

TIEN: grrr

VOICE: Tien…he's a man whore

TIEN: WHAT!?!?! No I'm not.

VOICE: Then why did you have sex with Goku, Chotazu, Vegeta, Chotazu, Bulma, Chotazu, Chi-chi, Chotazu, Krillin, Chotazu, Android 18, Chotazu, Yamcha, Chotazu, Frieza, Chotazu, Cell, Chotazu, Majin Buu, Chotazu, Gohan, Chotazu, Goten, Chotazu, Trunks, Chotazu, Marron, Chotazu, Bra, (takes long exaggerated breath) King Kai, Chotazu, Old Kai, Chotazu, Kibito Kai, Chotazu, Master Roshi and I think I'm forgetting one…oh I remember, Chotazu!

TIEN: Okay…are you implying that I have sex with Chotazu?

VOICE: No of course not, see to imply means to allude to something, or to not say something directly. I however, am say quite directly, YOU HAD SEX WITH CHOTAZU!!

TIEN: I'VE NEVER HAD SEX WITH CHOTAZU!

VOICE: what about the others?

TIEN: OF COURSE NOT I'VE NEVER HAD SEX WITH ANY OF THEM

VOICE: Wow, you the worst man whore in the world.

TIEN: I'M NOT A MAN WHORE!

VOICE: not a good one

TIEN: GRRRRRRRRRRRR

_(Suddenly Tien's two normal eye vanish leaving only the third eye)_

VOICE: Tien…he's a Cyclopes

TIEN: alright, very funny put back my eyes now

_(Then Tien has two eye but not the third one)_

TIEN: PUT THAT THIRD EYE BACK!

_(Bug eye appears on his forehead)_

TIEN: That's a bug's eye, it belongs on a bug

_(Then Tien turns into a bug)_

TIEN: you think you're very funny don't you?

VOICE: Yup

TIEN: Please turn me back into a person

_(Tien is then turned into a seven year old girl in a pink dress with a big pink bow in his hair.)_

TIEN: What the hell is this?

VOICE: What? You said 'turn me back into a person' you never said which person.

TIEN: grrrrrrrrrr…alright, turn me back into me now.

VOICE: Alright calm down.

_(Tien turns back into Tien)_

TIEN: Okay, I'm me again, good.

VOICE: Yeah, just in time for Jack to come back.

TIEN: What?

_(Then Jack Fenton bursts back in with more ammo)_

JACK FENTON: NOW I'LL GET YOU GHOST

TIEN: AAHHH NOOOO TELL HIM I'M NOT A GHOST!

VOICE: Tien…yeah you are

_(Jack Fenton starts shooting at Tien, who screams and runs away, Jack Fenton chases after him.)_

VOICE: Now you know, Tien…the ghostly man whore with a fake third eye who never bathes.

**Thank you to everyone who review me with ways to torture Tien, they were a big help.**


	14. Chotazu

Second of my triple post

(Chotazu!)

VOICE: Know your stars know your stars know your stars know your stars

CHOTAZU: uhh…

VOICE: Chotazu…he's a circus clown

CHOTAZU: No I'm not

VOICE: Yeah you are, and you're also a puppet

CHOTAZU: What!?!?!

VOICE: Chotazu…is actually a Muppet

CHOTAZU: what's a Muppet?

VOICE: (gasps) Chotazu I'm can't believe it, you don't even know your own kind?

CHOTAZU: what?

VOICE: Chotazu…is a disgrace to all Muppets.

CHOTAZU: I don't even know what a Muppet is!

VOICE: This is why you're a disgrace

CHOTAZU: You not even making any sense

VOICE: I don't need to make sense.

CHOTAZU: yeah, why not?

VOICE: Because I am Artemis Day, the author and I can do whatever I want…like this…

(Suddenly, Chotazu gets a duck bill)

CHOTAZU: What the hell?

VOICE: What? You don't like you duck bill

CHOTAZU: No

VOICE: (Crying) YOU HURT MY FEELINGS NOW YOU HAVE TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY. (Cries)

CHOTAZU: I WILL NOT SAY I'M SORRY!

(Then a million huge ray guns pop out all pointed at Chotazu)

VOICE: (Sniffs) what was that? I didn't quite hear you.

CHOTAZU: (Is very very very very scared of the ray guns) I'm sorry

VOICE: Okay, I feel better now.

CHOTAZU: (Sighs with relief but then is hit by one of the ray guns, the duck bill spins around his head a bunch of time before stopping.) You're despicable

VOICE: And you stole that from Loony tunes.

CHOTAZU: grrrrrrr…

VOICE: Why do they always growl at me like that?

CHOTAZU: Can you please get rid of this duck bill now?

VOICE: Fine

(Duck bill vanishes)

CHOTAZU: Thank you

VOICE: Chotazu…he went to Muppet jail 17 times because he's a bad Muppet.

CHOTAZU: I don't even know what a Muppet is, how can I be one.

VOICE: I don't know, all I know is that you're doing a terrible job and have to go back to Muppet jail.

CHOTAZU: What?

(Then a jail car comes in and the Muppet cops, Kermit the frog and Fozzibear come out)

KERMIT: Chotazu, you're under arrest on charges off being a terrible Muppet.

FOZZI: In fact, you're such a bad Muppet, that you've already been sentenced to 1000000 ½ years in jail, and then another 1000000 ½ years of good Muppet school.

KERMIT: Let's go

(They attempt to drag Chotazu into the car)

CHOTAZU: NO, I'M NOT A MUPPET; I'M NOT GOING TO MUPPET JAIL! I'M NOT! I'M NOT! I'M NOT! I'M NOT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

(They drag Chotazu into car and then drive him away to Muppet Jail)

VOICE: Now you know, Chotazu…the guy who is a circus clown as well as a really bad Muppet.

Thanks to those who reviewed with ideas for Chotazu, I appreciate it.


	15. Android 16

_(Last for the night, Android 16)_

VOICE: Know your stars know your stars know your stars know your stars

ANDRIOD 16: …

VOICE: Android 16…he wears women's underwear

ANDRIOD 16: …

VOICE: uhh…I said Android 16…he wears women's underwear

ANDRIOD 16: …

VOICE: Hey, aren't you listening to me?

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: Dude, come on, say something, I'm trying to torture you here.

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: Okay, let's try again, Android 16…before he was an android, he was a toothbrush.

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: Okay, what is with you?

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: Are you ignoring me on purpose?

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: aw come on just say something.

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: come on…speak…come on…SPEAK GODDAMMIT! I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: OKAY, FINE THEN, YOU IGNORE ME, I'LL IGNORE YOU, LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: …

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: …

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: …

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: …

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: OH FOR GOD'S SAKE JUST SAY SOMETHING!

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: GRRRRRRRRRR…ALL RIGHT FINE, I'M GONNA MAKE YOU TALK IF IT KILLS ME!

_(Drops rock on Android 16's head)_

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: grrrr…

_(Drops even bigger rock on Android 16's head)_

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE:GRRRRRR…

_(Suddenly gunshots are heard)_

ANDROID 16: …

_(Machine guns)_

ANDROID 16: …

_(Rock concert)_

ANDROID 16: …

_(Nuclear explosion)_

ANDROID 16: …

_(Airplane taking off)_

ANDROID 16: …

_(Nails scratching on chalkboard)_

ANDROID 16: …

_(All those sounds at once)_

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: _(Loses all self control)_ WILL…

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: YOU…

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: JUST…

ANDROID 16: …

VOICE: **_SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK!_**

_(Then there's an earthquake, a tsunami, a tornado, and a volcanic eruption, and more explosions. Then all the noise goes away.)_

ANDROID 16: _(Looks around a bit then pulls headphones off)_ Sorry, did you say something, I had me headphones on.

VOICE: _(Stares at Android 16 for a minute before losing what left of sanity)_ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH _(Gets in rocket and blasts self to the moon)_

ANDROID 16: _(Looks around more then shrugs and puts headphones back on)_

**Okay that's it no more tonight; don't forget to review and Happy holidays!**


	16. Android 17

**A/N: Please forgive my lack of updates in the last month, I've been really busy**.

VOICE: Know your stars know your stars know your stars know your stars

ANDROID 17: …

VOICE: Android 17…he's a ballerina.

ANDROID 17: uh…no I'm not I don't dance.

VOICE: Yes you do

ANDROID 17: no I don't

VOICE: Yes you do

ANDROID 17: no I don't

VOICE: IMPERIO!

ANDROID 17: _(is being controlled by the voice)_

VOICE: Now then…put on a tutu and dance like a ballerina

(Android 17 puts on a tutu and dances like ballerina to no music)

VOICE: _(snickers)_ Okay stop

ANDROID 17: _(stops)_

VOICE: Now I want you to go up to Jorgen Von Strangle and kick in hard in the shins

ANDROID 17: _(goes up to Jorgen and kicks him in the shins, then the voice removes the spell on him and he realizes what he just did)_ uh…I'm sorry

JORGEN VON STRANGLE: **_GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR _**

ANDROID 17: mother…

**Following this is an extremely violent scene in which Jorgen Von Strangle beats the ever-loving shit out of Android and therefore is not suitable for this fic since it's only rated T…sorry!**

ANDROID 17: _(After Jorgen leaves) _owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…help

VOICE: wimp _(heals Android 17)_

ANDROID 17: Thank you

VOICE: Android 17…he's a wimp

ANDROID 17: What!?! I'm no wimp

VOICE: hey look its Jorgen

ANDROID 17: _(screams like a little girl and hides)_

VOICE: You were saying…

ANDROID 17: that's not funny

VOICE: Your right…what's funny is your still wearing a tutu.

ANDROID 17: Still wearing a what?_ (looks down and finally sees hes in a tutu)_ OMFG WHY AM I WEARING A TUTU

VOICE: Because you're a ballerina

ANDROID 17: I AM NOT

VOICE: so much denial in this show…

ANDRIOD 17: GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

VOICE: …and growling

ANDROID 17: get me out of this stupid tutu now

VOICE: fine wimp

ANDROID 17: DON'T CALL ME THAT!

_(Android 17 gets his regular clothes back)_

ANDROID 17: that's better

VOICE: right…Android 17…he's loves to watch Barney

ANDROID 17: WHAT!?!? I do not, I hate Barney

VOICE: Android 17…he wants to marry Barney

ANDROID 17: Okay that's just stupid and weird…like you

VOICE: Hey look its Jorgen

ANDROID 17: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! _(Runs and hides again)_

VOICE: _(Snickers)_

ANDROID 17: THAT'S STILL NOT FUNNY!

VOICE: Says you

ANDRIOD 17: I hate you

VOICE: don't care…Android 17…is still a wimp

ANDRIOD 17: I AM NOT A WIMP YOU **(CENSORED)** BAG OF **(CENSORED)** WITH A **(CENSORED)** IN **(CENSORED)** AND **(CENSORED) **RANTING LIKE A **(CENSORED)** ON A **(CENSORED)** WITH **(CENSORED)** POPSICLE STICK AND **(CENSORED)** REALLY BIG **(CENSORED)** WITH A CHERRY ON TOP!

VOICE, OTHER DBZ CHARACTERS, EVERYONE ELSE: _(stare blankly at Android 17)_

VOICE: …Android 17…do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

ANDROID 17: I don't have a mother

VOICE: uhhh…

_(Suddenly, Jorgen appears right behind Android 17, who doesn't notice him)_

VOICE: uh-oh, Jorgen's back, run 17!

ANDROID 17: oh no, I'm not falling for that one again

_(Jorgen taps in on the shoulder)_

ANDROID 17: What? _(Turns around and sees Jorgen)_ oh no…hey crazy voice, DO SOMETHING!

_(Suddenly, Android 17 is wearing a tutu again)_

JORGEN VON STRANGLE: GRRRRRRR...I HATE BALLERINAS!!!!

ANDROID 17: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

VOICE: _(Watches as Android 17 is pummeled by Jorgen)_ hmmm…I thought he said he didn't have a mother…oh well, anyway…now you know Android 17…the wimpy potty-mouthed, barney loving ballerina who is currently getting his ass kicked by JorgenVon Strangle…again.

**A/N: Again, sorry for the wait peoples, but if you leave a review, I promise the next chapter will come sooner.**


	17. Android 18

_(18)_

VOICE: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars, know your stars

ANDROID 18: oh brother

VOICE: Android 18…she's a-

ANDROID 18: Uh…excuse me, I was just wondering something.

VOCIE: Um…alright what is it?

ANDROID 18: Don't you have anything better to do than annoy the crap out of us DBZ characters? I mean, why not torture Harry Potter characters?

VOICE: Well actually I did consider doing that, but I figured I would probably just waste all my time torturing Ginny and none of the other characters.

ANDROID 18: Why only Ginny?

VOICE: Because I hate her, and I wish she would just die already, in fact, I'm going to bring her here right now and destroy her.

_(Then Ginny appears)_

GINNY: uh…where am I?

_(Then Ginny is shot, stabbed, set on fire, gnawed on by rats, disemboweled, shot some more, smashed, crushed, smoshed, chewed on, grinded, maimed, trampled on, fed poisoned pumpkin pie_ A/N: HHR FOREVER!_, shot even more, and about a million more violent things happen to her after that, and then what's left of her explodes, and then what's left of her after THAT explodes, and so on and so forth.)_

VOICE: _(Grins evilly)_ Bye bye Ginny

ANDROID 18: Was that really necessary?

VOICE: …yes

ANDROID 18: _(rolls eyes)_

VOICE: anyway, let's just get to the torturing…Android 18…she likes to-

ANDROID 18: Wait a minute, you didn't answer my question.

VOCIE: What?

ANDROID 18: I asked you why you do this?

VOICE: What? You mean torture DBZ characters?

ANDROID 18: yeah, why do you do it?

VOICE: uhh…I don't know…its just fun I guess.

ANDROID 18: Really, tell me, what makes it fun?

VOICE: Well…when they get all pissed off and stuff.

ANDROID 18: And how do you piss them off.

VOICE: Well, I say a bunch of stuff about them that makes them mad, and I annoy them by bringing in characters from other fandom's, and sometimes I turn them into random things or get them sent away somewhere like jail or the north pole or something, oh and this one time I got Danny Phantom to help me out, that was fun I guess…

ANDROID 18: So basically you do ridiculous stuff that gets then really angry?

VOICE: Yup

ANDROID 18: And that's what you're planning on doing to me?

VOICE: Yup

ANDROID 18: I see, well I hate to break it to you, but I never get angry, so you're just wasting your time.

VOICE: Oh please, I'm sure you get angry.

ANDROID 18: Nope, I'm an android, androids don't get angry.

VOICE: That's stupid, I had Android 17 in here before and I got him angry really fast.

ANDROID 18: Well Android 17 is a wimp

VOICE: Can't argue with that, still I know android's can get angry.

ANDROID: What about 16? Did you get him angry?

VOICE:…I don't want to talk about it.

ANDROID 18: I bet you cou-

VOICE: I SAID WE AREN'T TALKING ABOUT IT!

ANDROID 18: Fine, no need to get angry, oh wait, weren't you suppose to make me angry, of course not, because you can't.

VOICE: Oh yeah, what if I said that you like to eat dandruff flakes.

ANDROID 18: I don't care

VOICE: Okay, what I said…you work at a strip club on weekends

ANDROID 18: I wouldn't care

VOICE: Oh yeah, what if I said you're a lesbian and you've been having an affair with about twelve different woman on mars

ANDROID 18: Are we done here?

VOICE: NO WE ARE NOT DONE HERE, WE'RE NOT DONE UNTIL YOU GET ANGRY LIKE YOU"RE SUPPOSE TO!

ANDROID 18: so you're saying we're going to keep this up forever?

VOICE: Alright, how about this…you like to eat dirt and manure and drink tequilas with you big purple dragon pimp named Jimbob who wear bonnets and a thong.

ANDROID 18: Nope, don't care

VOICE: You're really a transvestite Rocky Balboa with a fried toilet cleaner for a brain _and _you're just a 30-eyed tree frog with a Dalek style inferiority complex made out of plasticine…how's that for ya.

ANDROID 18: Not bad.

VOICE: really?

ANDROID 18: yeah, but I'm still not angry, why don't you just give up, there's nothing you can do to make me angry.

VOICE: Oh yeah, well I got one more for you that will definitely make you angry, I didn't want to do it before, but now you leave me no choice.

ANDROID 18: Alright, I'll humor you, what is it?

VOICE: Are you sure?

ANDROID 18: Yes, I'm sure now just say it already

VOICE: Alright, here we go…Android 18…is a human lighting rod.

ANDROID 18: what, that was suppose to make me angry, that's stupid, I mean come on, what does that even mean, a human lightning ro-

_(Suddenly, Android 18 is struck by lightning)_

ANDROID 18: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

VOICE: That was you getting struck by lightning, what do you think it was.

ANDROID 18: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU STRUCK ME WITH LIGHTNING

VOICE: Say, is it just me, or is someone angry?

ANDROID 18: I'M NOT ANGRY!

VOICE: Oh really, then we're just going to have to do that again.

ANDROID: No, don't

_(Android 18 is struck by lightning again)_

ANDROID 18: STOP DOING THAT

VOICE: Not until you get angry

ANDROID 18: grrrrrrrr

_(Android 18 is struck by lighting again)_

VOICE: Angry yet?

ANDROID 18: NO!

_(Android 18 is struck by lightning again)_

ANDROID 18: WILL

_(Is struck by lightning again)_

ANDROID 18: YOU

_(Is struck by lightning again)_

ANDROID 18: STOP

_(Is struck by lightning again)_

ANDROID 18: STRIKING

_(Again) _

ANDROID 18: ME

_(Again)_

ANDROID 18: WITH 

_(Again)_

ANDROID 18: LIGHTNING!

VOICE: Okay.

ANDROID 18: Thank you.

VOICE: …

ANDROID 18: …

VOICE: …

ANDROID 18: …

VOICE: …

ANDROID 18: _(Is struck by lightning again)_

VOICE: oops _(snickers)_

ANDROID 18: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! _(Runs off screaming swear words and blowing random things up and basically acting like an immature baby)_

VOICE: Oh dear, I think I made her angry (snickers more)

_(Then Goku runs past still being chased by fangirls)_

VOICE: Wow, that hasn't happened in a while has it?

**A/N: Thank you to RPQ for the idea, I appreciate it and had been waiting to use it, so thanks! Review please! **


	18. Broly

VOICE: Know your stars know your stars know your stars know your stars

BROLY: …

VOICE: Broly…he can't speak in complete sentences.

BROLY: Well, actually, despite my actions in the canon story I am extremely well read and have an extensive vocabulary and therefore, can speak in complete sentences.

VOICE: …uh…wow that was…unexpected, okay uhhh…Broly he loves Goku.

BROLY: 'Goku' who is this Goku?

VOICE: 'Who's Goku?' What do you mean, you fought him, you know…kakarott?

BROLY: Kakarott?... KAKAROTT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH _(Starts randomly blowing stuff up)_ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

VOICE: Hmm…so much for being smart…oh well, Broly…he's a big stupid caveman.

BROLY: ME KILL KAKAROTT UNGA UNGA UUUUUHHHHHHHHHH _(Smashes fists against the floor causing massive earthquakes all over the world)_

VOICE: I rest my case.

BROLY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH _(Lets out blast so big it completely destroys everything, including the earth, which means everything is dead including Broly and the voice. The End.)_

_**(JUST KIDDING HAHAHA)**_

VOICE: oooooooookay anyway, Broly he still loves Goku

BROLY: ME HATE KAKAROTT ME KILL KAKAROTT UGA UGA!

VOICE: Broly…wants to take a bath with Goku

BROLY: AUGH! NO BATH! BATH EVIL!

VOICE: Broly…has some serious issues.

BROLY: UGA BUGA UGA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH

VOICE: You know I wasn't serious when I said you were a cave man right?

BROLY: UGA UGA!

VOICE: Okay…

_(Then a dictionary lands on Broly's head)_

VOICE: This is a dictionary, it is filled with real words please use them.

_(Broly stares at dictionary for a few seconds and then blasts it.)_

BROLY: BROLY NO READ BOOK, MAKES BROLY HURT IN PLACE WHERE THINKS COME FROM.

VOICE: …okay, Broly…either he watches too much TV…or he's a freakin idiot.

BROLY: YOU SAY KAKAROTT ME DESTROY KAKAROTT!

VOICE: Yeah he's a freakin idiot.

BROLY: IDIOT? WHAT MEANS IDIOT?

VOICE: Uh you know stupid?

BROLY: _(Stares blankly and drools)_

VOICE: You're dumb, not smart, dim, moronic, unintelligent…in other words, you have no brain

BROLY: THAT NOT TRUE, BROLY HAS BRAIN, BROLY KNOW LOTS!

VOICE: Oh yeah, what's 2 plus 2?

BROLY: THAT EASY...42!

VOICE: …what day comes after Monday?

BROLY: PUDDING!

VOICE: What color is the sky?

BROLY: GEORGE WASHINGTION

VOICE: …Spell you're name

BROLY: UH…THAT TOUGH…UH…UH…UH…

VOICE: JUST SPELL YOUR FREAKIN NAME!

BROLY: NO RUSH ME…UH…UH…OH I KNOW, 12…54…MOUNT RUSHMORE…1924…BATMAN THEME SONG!

VOICE: …uh…

BROLY: ME KNOW, YOU IS STUNNED BY ME'S SMARTICALNESS

VOICE: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaah that's it, in fact you are so smart, I'm going to trust you to do something very important for me.

BROLY: OOH WHAT BROLY SHOULD DO? WHAT BROLY SHOULD DO?!?!?!

VOICE: I need you to go get me a carton of milk, a dozen eggs, and a dodo bird, okay?

BROLY: BROLY GETS BROLY GETS. _(Blasts out of room)_

VOICE: Now you know, Broly…the guy who is stupider than Cosmo, Peter Griffin, Jack Fenton, Umbridge, and every single adult on south park except maybe Chef combined.

_(Then Cosmo, Peter Griffin, Jack Fenton, Umbridge, and every single adult on south park except Chef come in.)_

COSMO: SHE's right, he was an idiot.

PETER: Total idiot

JACK FENTON: Even worse than any of us.

EVERY SINGLE ADULT ON SOUTH PARK EXCEPT CHEF: You can say that again.

JACK FENTON: Even worse than any of us.

UMBRIDGE: Hey wait a second, why am I here, I'm not an idiot.

VOICE: Yeah you are, plus I don't like you.

UMBRIDGE: WELL I HATE YOU, AND I'M NO IDIOT LIKE THAT GUY, I MEAN COME ON, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT DODO BIRDS ONLY LIVE ON PLUTO.

VOICE: …_(Blows up Umbridge) _

COSMO: HAHA…That weird toad thing just blew up and stuff.

VOICE: I think I just lost some IQ points.


	19. Dende

_(The Voice A.K.A. Artemis Day is sitting at her desk trying to think of who to torture next.)_

ARTEMIS: Hmmm…who have I tortured so far…let's see, Krillen, check…Piccolo, check…Android 18, check…hmm…who next?

_(Artemis is still thinking when suddenly, a shadowy figure appears behind her.)_

ARTEMIS: Hmmmm… _(Hears noise behind her)_ What the- _(Turns around)_ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

_(Cut to KYS room, where Dende is sitting in the chair)_

VOICE: Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your stars, Know your stars.

DENDE: …

VOICE: Dende…he's a big stupid doo doo head.

DENDE: No I'm no- wait what? What the hell was that?

VOICE: …That was me torturing you.

DENDE: Yeah but that's not torture that was just stupid.

VOICE: …Okay, how about this Dende…he's green.

DENDE: …

VOICE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I JUST CALLED YOU GREEN, AREN'T YOU TOTALLY PISSED AT ME NOW, AREN'T YOU AREN'T YOU AREN'T YOU!?!?!?!?!

DENDE: Not really.

VOICE: …WHY NOT!?!?!?!

DENDE: Because I am green.

VOICE: …oh…Okay then…Dende…his real name is uh…Mr. …farty McFartfart.

DENDE: That was just too stupid for words.

VOICE: IT WAS NOT! IT WAS GREAT; YOU'RE JUST TOO STUPID TO RECOGNIZE THE GENIUS IN MY COMEDY.

DENDE: What genius? Everything you've said so far has been so lame, you were really funny in the last 18 chapters, and you're just acting like an idiot.

VOICE: I'M NOT AN IDIOT!!!! I'M THE FUNNIEST, SMARTEST, PRETTIEST, MOST TALENTED AND ALL AROUND GREATEST PERSON IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE!

DENDE: Okay, big headed much?

VOICE: GRR…If you don't stop insulting me I'll tell everyone that you're actually green.

DENDE: I AM actually green!

VOICE: Dende…He's a stupid, icky toilet brain.

DENDE: That made no sense.

VOICE: YES IT DID!

DENDE: Okay, why are you acting all stupid and moody?

VOICE: I'M NOT ACTING STUPID AND MOODY YOU DOO DOO BRAIN!

DENDE: I rest my case

VOICE: You're a meanie

DENDE: What?

VOICE: I SAID YOU'RE A MEANIE!!!!

DENDE: I heard you but c'mon, 'a meanie' surely you can do better then that.

VOICE: Okay that's it; I didn't want to do this but… _(Nothing happens)_ HAHAHAHAHA! NOW YOU ARE SURELY MAD AT ME!

DENDE: …

VOICE: …

DENDE… Uh…what did you do?

VOICE: Can't you see? I turned your skin green.

DENDE: For the final time I was already green!

VOICE: Yeah…but I did it.

DENDE: No you didn't…why don't you turn me blue? Or red? Or purple with pink polka dots? Or turn me into a chicken or something like that, because right now you're just being an idiot.

VOICE: …I can do those things if a want, cause I'm the author, yup, I'm Artemis Day, yes I am, I totally am Artemis Day.

DENDE: Uhhhh we-

VOICE: I AM TOO ARTEMIS DAY!

DENDE: I…didn't say you weren't.

VOICE: oh…I mean, I know that, I'm the author, I know all, ALL!

DENDE: riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

VOICE: Okay…and now too prove my great authoryness; I shall uh…do this…

_(Nothing happens)_

DENDE: uhhhhhhh…what did you do?

VOICE: Can't you see, I turn you into a namekian.

DENDE: _(slams head against armrest)_ I WAS ALREADY A NAMEKIAN! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!?!

VOICE: …nothing.

DENDE: Yes there is…you acting like an entirely different person.

VOICE: I AM NOT! I AM ARTEMIS DAY, NOW BOW TO ME PEASANT!

DENDE: You're insane, and not the good insane, the insane insane.

VOICE: I AM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

DENDE: …

_(Suddenly, a girl with brown hair and eyes dressed in black hops in. Her ankles are tied together and her arms are tied to her body, it is the real Artemis Day!)_

DENDE: Uh…who are you?

ARTEMIS: I'm the real author/voice, that person is an imposter.

VOICE: HOW DID YOU GET OUT!?!?!...I mean no I'm not.

ARTEMIS: Okay, whoever you are this has gone on long enough, come down here now.

VOICE: I'm not coming down and you can't make me meh!

ARTEMIS: Uh…actually since I'm the real author/voice, I have the authory powers so…COME HERE NOW!

_(Then the imposter appears, and it is…)_

ARTEMIS: _(gasps) _GINNY! But how? I destroyed you in chapter 17!

GINNY: Yeah but I'm evil, and evil doesn't die MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

_(Lightning and scary music)_

ARTEMIS: I KNEW IT! I knew you were evil, I bet you used a love potion on Harry in HBP to make him fall in love with you too didn't you?

GINNY: Of course I did, couldn't have him hooking up with Hermione or something could I?

ARTEMIS: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR _(Blows Ginny up 120000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times)_

GINNY: _(Very faint)_ I'll be back

DENDE: …wow, that was weird.

ARTEMIS: …

DENDE: …

ARTEMIS: …

DENDE: …

ARTEMIS: Want to go get some soda.

DENDE: oooooooooo I love soda.

_(Then Artemis and Dende have some soda)_


	20. ChiChi

VOICE: Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars

CHI-CHI: Hmmmm…

VOICE: Chi-Chi…she loves Bulma

CHI-CHI: _(monotone)_ Oh, I'm sorry, but that is not true, I love my husband Goku.

VOICE: …what?

CHI-CHI: I said you're mistaken; I love Goku, not Bulma.

VOICE: Yeah I heard you but why aren't you screaming at me?

CHI-CHI: Oh my, should I be?

VOICE: Uh…let's just try again, Chi-Chi…she's actually a transvestite.

CHI-CHI: I'm not a transvestite that was not very nice for you to say.

VOICE: _(is very very very confused) _Yes you are a transvestite, and uh…you're also a crackhead and a pornstar and a drunk.

CHI-CHI: I'm afraid you wrong, I'm not any of those things, I'm just a homemaker.

VOICE:…Chi-Chi…uhhh…guess what?

CHI-CHI: What?

VOICE: I TURNED YOUR SON INTO A DOG!

CHI-CHI: OH, well that wasn't very nice at all.

VOICE: uhhh…and I put your other son in an asylum.

CHI-CHI: An asylum, how awful.

VOICE: …and I sent fangirls after your husband.

CHI-CHI: Well as long as he comes home safe…

VOICE: Okay, WHAT IS WITH YOU?!?!

CHI-CHI: Whatever do you mean?

VOICE: Why are you acting so mellow?

CHI-CHI: Mellow?

VOICE: Yes, you haven't gotten angry at anything I've said, and you usually get angry a lot in the manga.

CHI-CHI: Oh, well that was before I started seeing my psychologist, he told me I was much to stressed and gave me some Ritalin to help with that.

VOICE: Wait a minute, you saying that you're not getting angry at me because you're on Ritalin?

CHI-CHI: Yes, you should try some, it really works.

VOICE: …I can see that…what stupid, crazy, idiotic, ridiculous, incurably insane doctor gave you Ritalin?

_(Meanwhile)_

GINNY: Hehehe

_(Back with Chi-Chi and the Voice)_

VOICE: Okay, this won't do at all…BYE BYE RITALIN.

_(Suddenly, Chi-Chi is no longer on Ritalin and is back to her old crazy self.)_

CHI-CHI: WHAT THE (bleep) JUST HAPPENED!?!?!

VOICE: That's much better, now we can finally get on with the torture.

CHI-CHI: TORTURE!?! WHAT THE (bleep) TO YOU (bleep)ING MEAN TORTURE!?!?!

VOICE: Chi-Chi…she has wet dreams about Professor Snape.

CHI-CHI: ARE YOU (bleep)ING NUTS, I DON'T HAVE ANY (bleep)ING WET DREAMS ABOUT ANY (bleep)ING PROFESSOR SNAPE!

VOICE: Yeah you do.

CHI-CHI: **GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR**!

VOICE: Wow, that was a good growl, you should get an award for that…

CHI-CHI: AW (bleep) YOUR (beep)ING AWARD I DON'T (bleep)ING WANT IT.

VOICE: Chi-Chi…god you have a bad mouth.

CHI-CHI: OH BIG (bleep)ING WHOOP, WHAT THE (bleep) ARE YOU GONNA (bleep)ING DO ABOUT IT?

VOICE: I'm going to have the most evil creature on earth (Next to Ginny) come and violently wash your mouth out with soap.

CHI-CHI: OH YEAH RIGHT, YOU WOULDN'T (bleep)ING DARE!

VOICE: Oh?

_(Just then, Vicky, the second most evil creature on earth comes in with giant frighteningly violent mouth washing instrument.)_

VICKY: TIME FOR A CLEANING AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

_(Lightning and scary music)_

CHI-CHI: oh (bleep).

_(Vicky then proceeds to violently wash out Chi-Chi's mouth for about twenty minutes. Then she laughs a lot and leaves.)_

CHI-CHI: _(In agony) _Oh god, the horror, THE (bleep)ING HORROR!

VOICE: I see you didn't learn anything…oh well, let's continue.

CHI-CHI: NOW WAIT JUST ONE (bleep)ING SECOND, I AM NOT GOING TO (bleep)ING STAND FOR THIS ANYMORE. FIRST, YOU STOLE MY (bleep)ING RITALIN, THEN, YOU (bleep)ING PISSED ME OFF, THEN YOU HAD THAT DEMON SPAWN COME HERE AND VOILENTLY WASH OUT MY (bleep)ING MOUTH! THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH AND I'M NOT GOING TO (bleep)ING GO ALONG WITH THIS ANYMORE SO YOU CAN JUST (bleep)ING FORGET ABOUT (bleep)ING TORTUING ME ANY (bleep)ING MORE, I'M GOING TO LEAVE RIGHT (bleep)ING NOW AND THEN YOU CAN JUST (bleep) OFF FOR ALL I CARE. DO YOU HERE ME? YOU. CAN. JUST. (bleep). OFF. CAUSE I (bleep)ING HATE YOU. I HATE YOU SO MUCH THAT…THAT…THAT…THAT I HATE YOU. GOT IT!?!?!?! I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. _**IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE YYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU.**_ _(Then Chi-Chi explodes)_

VOICE: …

CHI-CHI: (Explodes again, and then what's left of her spontaneously combusts)

VOICE:…

_(Then, Danny Phantom walks in)_

DANNY: Hey Artemis, I just came back because I forgot my jacket…are you okay?

VOICE: …I don't know, I was just torturing Chi-chi and she exploded, and then caught fire.

DANNY: Why did you do that?

VOICE:…uh…that's the thing…I didn't.

DANNY: You mean, she blew herself up?

VOICE: _(nods)_ I…I guess I shouldn't have taken away her Ritalin.

**A/N: Sorry if this chapter isn't as good as the last ones, I have a little writer's block, so I'm sorry for the delay in chapters also. On a happier note, I'm at 95 reviews, just five more until 100! So review please (pretty please!)**


	21. Hercule

VOICE: Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars

HERCULE: uh…

VOICE: Hercule…he's a never-has been

HERCULE: Hey, I'm not a has been.

DANNY: She didn't say that.

HERCULE: Yeah she di- wait, are there two of you up there.

VOICE: Yup, me and Danny Phantom, who helped me torture Master Roshi in chapter 8 and decided to stick around for the rest of the story.

DANNY PHANTOM FANGIRLS: YAY!

VOICE: Anyway, he's right, I didn't call you a 'has-been' I called you a 'never-has been.'

HERCULE: What's that?

VOICE: Well a 'has been' is a person who did do something cool but no one cares anymore. You never actually did anything cool, you just took credit for what other people did, therefore, you are a never-has been.

HERCULE: uhhhhh…

DANNY: Okay. I'll put this in terms you will understand, Hercule…YOU'RE A FRAUD!

HERCULE: I AM NOT!

VOICE: Yeah you are, and you have a stupid hair style too.

HERCULE: NO WAY! MY MOMMY SAYS MY HAIR IS DA BOMB!

VOICE AND DANNY: _(snickers)_

HERCULE: Stop laughing at me!

VOICE: Hercule…his dream job is to be an Elvis impersonater.

HERCULE: I do not want to be an Elvis impersonator.

VOICE: IMPERIO!

HERCULE: _(Is under the Voice's control)_

VOICE: I want you to dress up like Elvis and sing like him too.

HERCULE: _(runs off and comes back a minute later dressed like Elvis.) _

DANNY:Oh man, I am so filming this.

VOICE: Great! We can sell it on the internet!

DANNY: _(Takes out video camera.)_

HERCULE: _(Singing very badly)_ YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG CRYIN' ALL THE TIME…WELL SINCE MY BABY LEFT ME, I'VE FOUND A NEW PLACE TO DWELL…I'M JUST A HUNKA HUNKA BURNING LOVE…EVERYBODY IN THE WHOLE CELL BLOCK WAS DANCING TO THE JAIL HOUSE ROCK!!!!!!! _(Does that Pelvis thing Elvis used to do)_

DANNY: …

VOICE: …

DANNY: On second thought, I don't think we could put anyone through this kind of torture.

VOICE: I know…uh Okay, DE-IMPERIO!

HERCULE:_ (Is now no longer under the Voice's control.)_

DANNY: 'De-Imperio?' You just made that up.

VOICE: What's your point?

HERCULE: WHY AM I DRESSED LIKE THIS!?!?!

DANNY: Cause you're an Elvis impersonator.

HERCULE: I AM NOT!

VOICE: Now you are.

HERCULE: GRRRRR THAT'S IT, I HATE YOU BOTH!!

VOICE: Really? Then you're going to hate us even more after this…

_(Then, the villain whose name isn't Shirley comes in)_

THE VILLIAN WHOSE NAME ISN'T SHIRLEY: Hi friend, want some Pizza.

HERCULE: From you, no way, I am the great Hercule, I don't eat stupid peasant food likes yours.

THE VILLIAN WHOSE NAME ISN'T SHIRLEY: (Crying) You're mean! _(Stops cryin and gets really pissed off_.) I SHALL DESTROY YOU!

_(Blasts Hercule with canons and stuff like that a lot, then leaves.)_

HERCULE: Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

VOICE: Eh…on with the tor- _(Ax flies past missing the Voice by an inch)_

DANNY: HOLY CRAP! You okay?

VOICE: Yeah, I just wish I knew who did that.

_(Meanwhile)_

GINNY: Darn it.

_(Back with Hercule and Voice and Danny.)_

VOICE: Anyway, Hercule…He has no real friends.

HERCULE: Yeah so, I'm Hercule, I don't need friends.

VOICE: …Hercule…Nobody likes him.

HERCULE: I don't need to be liked, I'm Hercule which means everybody loves me.

VOICE: …Hercule…Is nothing but a big-headed loser, and to prove my point…

_(Suddenly, Hercule's head starts to grow and doesn't stop until it's the size of Jupiter.)_

HERCULE: _(Extremely high-pitched)_ What did you just do to me?

DANNY: Uhh…I think she filled your head with helium.

HERCULE: HELIUM!?!?!?!?!

VOICE: _(Grins Evilly)_

_(Then, Hercule starts floating up into space.)_

HERCULE: AAAAAAH…I'm floating away!!!

DANNY: Well, what did you expect, your head is filled with helium

HERCULE: _(Distant)_ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA… _(Fades away as Hercule and his massive helium filled head float away.)_

VOICE: Now you know Hercule…the bigheaded, Elvis Impersonating, Never-has been Helium head whom is currently floating past the stratosphere.

DANNY: …Say uh…

VOICE: What?

DANNY: I was just wondering, where's Goku and the fangirls, haven't seen them in a while.

VOICE: Oh don't worry, I put tracking devices/video cameras on the fangirls so I could watch them hunt down Goku, see?

_(Turns on big TV screen which immediately shows the fangirls chasing Goku somewhere in South Africa.)_

GOKU: DON'T YOU FANGIRLS EVER TAKE A BREAK!?!?!?!??!

_(Screen goes blank)_

DANNY: hm...I guess he's okay then.

VOICE: Uh-huh, let's go watch TV.

_(Then they watch TV)_


	22. Videl

VOICE: Know your-

DANNY: Hey uh, can I do it?

VOICE: What?

DANNY: I want to do it, come on, just this once, please?

VOICE: Uhh…Okay.

DANNY: AWESOME! _(Clears throat) _Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars

VIDEL: …

VOICE: Videl…her boyfriend is a dog.

VIDEL: he is?

VOICE: Yup, see?

_(Gohan the dog walks in)_

GOHAN: Hey Videl

VIDEL: Hey Gohan, since when have you been a dog?

GOHAN: Since that insane voice turned me into one.

VOICE: _(snickers)_

DANNY: Anyway, Videl…she likes to eat toe jam.

VIDEL: Oh yes I do, it goes wonderfully with Chicken Marcella.

VOICE AND DANNY AND GOHAN: …

VIDEL: What?

VOICE: uuuuuuh let's try again…Videl…her mother was a transvestite named Jim.

VIDEL: You knew my mom?

DANNY:…Videl…she's a fat pie-eating whore

VIDEL: Mmmmmm…I love pie

VOICE: Videl…She wants to have sex with Vegeta

VIDEL: Well he is pretty hot.

GOHAN: WHAT!?!?!?! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME.

VIDEL: Gohan? You're a dog now?

GOHAN: YES! DIDN'T WE JUST ESTABLISH THAT?

VOICE: Okay this is getting too weird.

DANNY: I know, why is she agreeing with us?

VOICE: I don't kno- wait, I got it.

DANNY: What?

VOICE: Just do what I do…Videl…her dad is Hercule

VIDEL: What? No he's not, everyone knows my dad is a fence post in Alabama

GOHAN: uh…Videl?

DANNY: Videl…she likes martial arts

VIDEL: No I don't, I'm allergic to Martial Arts

GOHAN: Videl?

VOICE: Videl…her name is Videl

VIDEL: Nuh uh…my name is Milton.

GOHAN: VIDEL!?!?!?!

VIDEL: WHAT?

GOHAN: What they're saying is the true, your dad is Hercule, you do like Martial Arts, and your name is Videl okay? They were lying when they said you were in love with Vegeta and that your mom is a transvestite and that you're a fat pie eater, do you understand?

VIDEL:…

GOHAN: Do you Videl?

VIDEL: …

GOHAN: Videl?

VIDEL: _(gasps) _Hey, this dog is talking!

VOICE AND DANNY: _(Burst out laughing)_

GOHAN: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGH WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU VIDEL?

VIDEL: Gohan? When did you turn into a dog?

GOHAN: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_(Then the vet guy from the fairly oddparents who 'fixed' Vicky's dog comes in)_

VET GUY: _(Grabs Gohan the dog and puts him in a pet carrier thing)_ Wow, you're pretty vibrant aren't you pup, we'll have to fix that.

GOHAN: WHAT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

_(Vet guy and Gohan the dog leave)_

VOICE: Wow that was weird.

DANNY: Yeah

VIDEL: Hey, where are those Voices coming from?

VOICE: …this is ridiculous, I'm taking that mind control device of you now.

VIDEL: _(Mind control device comes off) _Where am I?

_(Videl blows up)_

DANNY: Wait a minute? You're telling me that she was acting that way because of a mind control device that you knew was there?

VOICE: Yep!

DANNY: So you put it there.

VOICE: Nope.

DANNY: Really? Then who did?

_(Meanwhile)_

GINNY: …What? I didn't do it either!

_(Meanwhile again)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: Hehehehehe

**A/N: Thank you to arch-duke trip for the idea.**


	23. Majin Buu

_(Artemis Day A.K.A The Voice and Danny Phantom are waiting for their next victim to arrive, in order to kill time, they are watching TV, Artemis is flipping through channels)_

ANOUNCER GUY: We have to take a quick break, but then we'll be back with more "Yu-Gay-Oh!" er…I mean "Yu-**Gi**-Oh, heh heh, sorry.

_(Artemis flips the channel to a commercial)_

COMMERCIAL ANOUNCER: You've already seen High School Muscial the movie, High School Musical the play, High Musical in concert, High School Musical on ice, and High School Musical the sequel, but now since we obviously haven't capitalized on the success of High School Musical enough, we bring you, High School Musical: THE WATER BALLET! Now for the first time, you can see your favorite crappy TV movie in WATER! It's the biggest event this summer! So come see High School Musical: The Water Ballet at your local swimming pool. WARNING: HighSchoolMusicalisanextremelycrappymovie,donotwatchanyHighSchoolMusicalmoviesormovieadaptionsifyouarepregnant,maybecomepregnant,onmedications,takesleepingpills,orhaveanytasteinmovieswhatsoever.exposuretoHighSchoolMusicalmayandprobablywillresultinheadache,severenausea,bloating,cramping,lossofintelligence,andlossofsanity.IfyouexperienceanyofthesesymptonsstopwatchingHighSchoolMusicalconsultadoctorimmediately. High School Musical: The Water Ballet, because everyone likes High School Musical!

DANNY:…

ARTEMIS:…

DANNY:…

ARTEMIS: I'll be right back.

_(Artemis leaves)_

_(Ten minutes later)_

DANNY: _(Is getting bored)_

(Artemis comes back in looking very satisfied with herself)

DANNY: You destroyed High School Musical didn't you

ARTEMIS: _(Grinning)_ Maaaaaybe

_(Suddenly, the shadowy figure from the last chapter appears behind them, Artemis and Danny turn around)_

ARTEMIS: What the-

SHADOWY FIGURE: Hello Artemis Day, I have a proposition for you…

_(Later)_

VOICE: Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars

MAJIN BUU: Buu?

VOICE: Majin Buu…he's a vegetarian

MAJIN BUU: Buu?

VOICE: No, a vegetarian

MAJIN BUU: What that?

DANNY: It means you only eat vegetables and no sweets

MAJIN BUU: Nu uh, Buu only eat chocolate and candy

VOICE: Well that explains why you're so fat

MAJIN BUU: Fat? FAT? BUU NOT FAT, BUU MAKE YOU CHOCLATE!

_(Blasts nothing)_

VOICE: You can't see us, so how can you blast us?

MAJIN BUU: GRRRRR

DANNY: Majin Buu…he had…uh can you move your hand please Shadowy Figure?

SHADOWY FIGURE: Sorry

VOICE: Anyway…Majin Buu…he had gay sex with Hercule fifty times in one hour, which is a new record, congratulations!

MAJIN BUU: Buu no have sex with Hercule, Hercule Buu's friend.

DANNY: Yeah, your close friend!

MAJIN BUU: Buu doesn't like you!

VOICE: You're not suppose to

MAJIN BUU: BUU MAKE YOU CHOCALATE, WHERE ARE YOU!!

VOICE: Uhh… (Grins evilly) I'm in the Smallville universe, I'm the black haired one they call Lana!

MAJIN BUU: Okay, Buu go eat you now.

_(Majin Buu leaves)_

DANNY: Didn't she die already

VOICE: You can never be sure with that show

_(Majin Buu comes back)_

MAJIN BUU: YAY BUU ATE MEAN VOICE

VOICE: YAY BUU ATE LANA, NO MORE STUPID LANA, CLOIS FOREVER!!

DANNY: Artemis…

VOICE: Sorry, had to say it!

MAJIN BUU: You still there, you trick Buu!

VOICE: Well look on the bright side, there's no more Lana now!

MAJIN BUU: Buu no care, Buu hate Smallville, Buu only watch Laguna Beach!

VOICE: Laguna Beach? That show sucks!

MAJIN BUU: _(sticks tongue out at Voice)_

DANNY: Alright lets get on with this…Majin Buu…he's got a split personality named Fathead!

MAJIN BUU: What!?!?! Not true, there only one Buu.

VOICE: Yeah, and then there's Fathead!

MAJIN BUU: NO FATHEAD, JUST BUU!

DANNY: and Fathead

MAJIN BUU: ME MAKE YOU CHOCOLATE!

VOICE: Oh yeah, well I'm so scared now my RED HAIR might just turn white!

MAJIN BUU: Red hair?

DANNY: Uh…your hair's brown not red

VOICE: _(Kicks Danny in the shins)_ Just wait.

_(Then Ginny randomly appears)_

GINNY: I'm back again!

MAJIN BUU: Red hair? You got red hair! You mean voice! BUU MAKE YOU CHOCOLATE!

GINNY: What?

_(Buu then turns Ginny into a chocolate bar and eats her)_

DANNY: _(To Artemis) _Uh…you do know she's going to just come back again later right?

VOICE: _(Is filming Buu eating Ginny)_ What?

DANNY: Nevermind!

MAJIN BUU: MMMMM YUMMY CHOCOLATE!

VOICE:…

DANNY: …

MAJIN BUU: …

VOICE: …

MAJIN BUU: You still there, aren't you.

VOICE: YEP

MAJIN BUU: THAT IT, BUU REALLY MAKE YOU CHOCOLATE NOW!!!!

DANNY: So who are you gonna have him eat this time?

VOCIE: Just watch

_(Buu fires off transforming blast thing and suddenly…a mirror appears, so the blast bounces off the mirror and back at Buu!)  
_

MAJIN BUU: Oh Snap!

_(Buu then becomes chocolate)_

VOICE: Now you know Majin Buu…the chocolatey vegetarian who had a lot of gay sex with Hercule.

DANNY: Well, that was odd

VOICE: Yeah but very productive, we got rid of High School Musical, Lana, and Ginny all in the same chapter!

DANNY: Yeah but Ginny always comes back!

VOICE: So?

_(Then Ginny comes back yet again)_

GINNY: Hah, I'm back!

_(Then 7456838 anvils fall on top of Ginny)_

GINNY: Ouch

VOICE: See I got it handled

SHADOWY FIGURE: Man that was weird!

**A/N: So, who do you think the shadowy figure is? Come on, don't be shy, take a guess, if you get it right, I'll give you a cookie!**


	24. Dr Gero

_(Artemis and Danny are waiting for their next victim to show up and are getting really bored with waiting)_

DANNY: _(Looks at his watch) _Damn, when's the shadowy figure going to get back with the pizza, I'm starving.

ARTEMIS: I'm sure They'll be back soon.

_(Five silent minutes later)_

DANNY: So…read the new Harry Potter book?

ARTEMIS: …yeah

DANNY: Oh…did you like it?

ARTEMIS: I guess so

DANNY: So…you uh…you weren't upset about uh…that thing that happened in the book that I probably shouldn't say aloud incase someone reading this hasn't read the book yet?

ARTEMIS: What?

DANNY: You know, uh…_ (Leans over and whispers something in her ear)_

ARTEMIS: Oh, that thing, no actually I'm not, I mean you'd think I would be but I've managed to come to terms with it.

DANNY: Really, wow, I thought you would have been really pissed off.

ARTEMIS: No not at all, now let's stop talking about this and watch some TV

_(Artemis picks up the remote and turns the TV on; it goes to a news broadcast)  
_

NEWSCASTER PERSON: This just in, it seems that the Laguna Beach, Zoey 101, Hannah Montana, Clueless, and W.I.T.C.H. universes have all been destroyed!

DANNY: _(Looks at Artemis with raised eyebrows)_

ARTEMIS: Okay…maybe I was a little upset…

_(Later)_

VOICE: Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars

DR. GERO: What was that?

VOICE: Dr. Gero…his childhood dream was to be a rodeo clown

DR. GERO: What? That is preposterous; my childhood dream was to turn every human being into my robot slaves and then take over the world and have my robot slaves erect statues of me made of Gold, Silver, and Corn!

DANNY: …

VOICE: …Wow and there DBZ characters think I'm insane

DANNY: yeah…Anyway, Dr. Gero…his experiments don't work

DR. GERO: What? Of course they work

VOICE: But according to you, all the Androids you created were failures.

DR. GERO: Android 19 wasn't a failure

DANNY: Oh yeah he was a great Android, that's why he kept getting his head blown off right?

VOICE: _(Snickers)_

DR. GERO: Hey that only happened twice!

_(Then Android 19 appears)_

ANDROID 19: Where am I?

_(Then the voice blows his head off)_

VOICE: Correction, that happened THREE times!

DANNY: _(Laughs loudly)_

DR. GERO: Hey, you can't do that!

VOICE: Sure I can, I'm the one writing this so I can do whatever I want…like this!

_(Then Android 19's head re-attaches itself to its body)_

ANDROID 19: Yay my head's back!

_(Then the Voice blasts his head off again)_

ANDROID 19'S HEAD: Aw Man

DANNY: That's four times now!

DR. GERO: STOP THAT!

VOICE: Okay enough of that, anyway, Dr. Gero…his other childhood was to be a singer

DR. GERO: No, I just wanted to rule the world!

VOICE: OH yeah…IMPERIO!

_(Dr. Gero is…well you know)_

VOICE: Okay Gero, I want you to sing us your favorite song in the world right now.

_(Gero gets up and runs away)_

DANNY: Uh…what's he doing?

VOICE: I don't know but get the video camera ready!

_(Then Gero comes back in…in a dress)_

DR. GERO: _(Singing badly) _SOME BOYS TAKE A BEAUTIFUL GIRL AND HIDE HER AWAY FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD, I WANNA BE THE ONE TO WALK IN THE SUN OH GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!

DANNY: …

VOICE: …Oooookay…DE-IMPERIO!

DR. GERO: What the- _(Looks down) _WHY AM I IN A DRESS????

VOICE: I don't know, you tell me

DR. GERO: GRRRRRRRRRR!

DANNY: Dr. Gero…He makes his androids out of cardboard and rubber bands and that's why they don't work!

DR. GERO: That is ridiculous, I make my androids out of metal and wires and stuff, they'd never stay together if they were made of cardboard, and if you haven't noticed, I'm an android too, and I'm still in one piece.

_(Then Dr. Gero arm falls off)_

VOICE: You sure about that?

_(Then Dr. Gero's other arm falls off)_

DR. GERO: Hey that isn't funny put my arms back!

DANNY: What makes you think she's doing it, it could just because you're made of cardboard.

DR. GERO: AM NOT!

_(Then Gero's legs come of and he falls to the floor, then his head pops off)_

DR. GERO: DO SOMETHING!

VOICE: Okay!

_(Then it starts to rain, and Dr. Gero's cardboard body parts start to get soggy.)_

DR. GERO: AAAAH I'M MELTING, I'M MELTING!

DANNY: No you aren't, and that was so cliché what you just said.

VOICE: Now you know, Dr. Gero… the soggy singing dress wearing cardboard rodeo clown who's experiments don't work.

_(Then the Shadowy Figure returns with the Pizza)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: I'm back with the Pizza

DANNY: Yeah we know, Artemis just wrote in two lines above this one.

VOICE: What took you so long, you were gone for like a hundred years!

SHADOWY FIGURE: Actually I was only gone for 2 hours, 17 minutes, and 26.69878 seconds.

VOICE: …whatever, give me some Pizza.

_(Then they all have Pizza)_

**A/N: Okay, so far nobody's figure out who the shadowy figure is, keep guessing people, remember, if you get it you get a cookie!**


	25. Lunch

_(The Voice and Danny are waiting for their next victim, Artemis is on the phone.)_

ARTEMIS: Uh huh…uh huh…Okay…Okay…no problem…alright, thanks Fred. _(Hangs up phone)_

DANNY: Who was that?

ARTEMIS: Just my new friend Fred, he agreed to take care of Ginny for me in case she comes back.

DANNY: Ooookay.

_(Later)_

VOICE: Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars

LUNCH: _(Stares blankly)_

VOICE: Lunch… she has 12 different personalities

LUNCH: Um…no, only 2.

DANNY: Lunch…one of her 12 personalities is Mr. Garrison from South Park.

LUNCH: No I don't, my only other personality is the one that comes out when I sneeze.

VOICE: Yeah but she's only one of your 12 personalities, the others are Mr. Garrison, Kim Possible, Buzz Lightyear, Jack Sparrow, Chucky, Dora the Explorer, Brian Griffin, Professor Trelawney, Violet Baudelaire, and Hilary Duff.

DANNY: That's only eleven.

VOICE: It's twelve including Lunch.

DANNY: Oh right.

LUNCH: Um…I don't have any personalities by those names.

_(Then Mr. Garrison, Kim Possible, Buzz Lightyear, Jack Sparrow, Chucky, Dora the Explorer, Brian Griffin, Professor Trelawney, Violet Baudelaire, and Hilary Duff appear.)_

MR. GARRISON: Hey wait a second, I'm a woman now, stop calling me Mr. Garrison.

VOICE: Oh, sorry

MRSGARRISON: Thank you

VOICE: Whatever

LUNCH: Um…who are these people?

KIM POSSIBLE: We're your other personalities, remember?

LUNCH: No.

BUZZ LIGHTYEAR: To infinity AND BEYOND!

_(Pops out his wings and flies away…into a brick wall)_

DANNY: What was the point of that?

VOICE: _(shrugs)_ Randomness

DANNY: uh-huh

BRIAN: Hey, whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?

JACK SPARROW: Hey it's Captain Jack Sparrow.

VOICE: Okay fine

CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW: thank you, anyway I want some rum!

DORA: Yeah, and what happened to my monkey friend boots, I can't find him.

CHUCKY: Say uh…was this boots guy a blue monkey with red rainboots on?

DORA: Yeah?

CHUCKY: Oh, well I killed him, took his skin and turned it into the coat for my wife Tiffany.

DORA: WHAT!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BRIAN: WHERE'S MY MARTINI?

CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW: WHERE'S MY RUM?

VOICE: OKAY FINE!

_(Then Martinis and Rum appear)_

CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW: YIPEE!! RUM!

BRIAN: Hey I said dry martini!

VOICE: Oh picky picky picky.

_(Then dry martinis appear)_

BRIAN: That's more like it.

VOICE: Okay, anyway, Lunch…she and her 11 other personalities-

LUNCH: ah…

DANNY: what?

LUNCH: ah…

VOICE: Uh-oh

LUNCH: ACHOO!!

_(Then evil Lunch comes outs)_

EVIL LUNCH: WHERE THE HELL AM I!?!?!?!?!?!?!

VOICE: You're hear being tortured, along with your eleven other personalities.

EVIL LUNCH: ELEVEN!?!?! I ONLY HAVE ONE OTHER PERSONALITY!

DANNY: Not according to Artemis, and she's the one writing this!

VOICE: _(Grins) _

EVIL LUNCH: OH COME ON, LIKE I COULD SHARE A MIND WITH THESE LOSERS

_(All gasp)_

KIM POSSIBLE: Hey, that wasn't very nice.

_(Evil Lunch pulls out machine guns and kills Kim Possible)_

TRELAWNEY: _(Gasps and twitches)_

VOICE: What?

TRELAWNEY: S-such a horrible vision…OF YOU!

_(Everyone jumps as she points to evil Lunch)_

EVIL LUNCH: WHAT?

TRELAWNEY: It seems…that sometime time in the near future…you will be tortured by an insane teenage girl and a half-ghost.

EVERYONE: _(Rolls eyes)_

CHUCKY: That's happening right now you fucking fraud.

_(Then Evil Lunch machine guns Trelawney.)_

VIOLET: Wow, this is getting too weird, I'm going to leave.

VOICE: You can't leave until I write it.

VIOLET: So write it.

VOICE: No

VIOLET: Fine, then I'll just use some gum, and toothpick, and a parakeet to build a ladder and then climb out the window.

VOICE: …Evil Lunch?

_(Evil Lunch machine guns Violet)_

HILARY DUFF: uuuuh…

VOICE: YOU SUCK!!

_(Then Hilary Duff blows up.)_

DANNY: So how many are left now?

VOICE: um…_ (Counts)_… including the Lunchs, seven

_(Evil Lunch machine guns Brian)_

VOICE: er…six

_(Evil Lunch machine guns Dora)_

DANNY: five

_(Evil Lunch machine guns Jack)_

VOICE: WILL YOU STOP MACHINE GUNNING PEOPLE?

EVIL LUNCH: I CAN'T HELP IT IF I'M TRIGGER HAPPY!

_(Machine guns Chucky)_

DANNY: Hm, sucks to be him.

VOICE: Anyway, Evil Lunch…she's in love with Tien.

EVIL LUNCH: Yeah I know.

DANNY: Evil Lunch…what she doesn't know is good Lunch loves him too.

EVIL LUNCH: WHAT?!?!?!

MRS. GARRISON: um…can I go now?

_(Evil Lunch machine guns Mrs. Garrison)_

EVIL LUNCH: ARE YOU SERIOUS?

DANNY: Yup

EVIL LUNCH: GRRR _(Reaches into her ear and pulls out Good Lunch.)_

DANNY: _(Wide eyed)_ How did she do that?

VOICE: I don't know I'm just the writer.

EVIL LUNCH: _(to good Lunch_) HOW DARE YOU CHASE AFTER MY MAN!!!

GOOD LUNCH: You're man, Tien's my guy, not yours.

EVIL LUNCH: OH PLEASE, WHY WOULD HE WANT A LITTLE WIMP LIKE YOU!!

GOOD LUNCH: Well why would he want an evil bitch like you!?!

EVIL LUNCH: OH IT'S ON NOW, IT'S ON!!

_(Good Lunch and Evil Lunch then start fighting)_

VOICE: Ah man, I guess we have to go break this up huh Danny…Danny?

DANNY: _(Is currently staring at the two fighting girls with his tongue hanging and drooling)_

VOICE: Danny? _(Waves a hand in his face, scoffs)_ dumb perv, only one way to handle this. _(Leaves)_

_(Two minutes later)_

EVIL LUNCH AND GOOD LUNCH: _(Are still fighting over Tien)_

DANNY: _(Is still ogling the fighting girls)_

_(Artemis returns with…_

DANNY FENTON!!!

DANNY: _(Immediately comes out of it and turns around to find…)_ Sam!

SAM: _(Is really angry)_ what are you doing looking at other woman, we're suppose to be dating now!!

DANNY: Um…I can explain.

_(Twenty minutes, a lot of explaining and a lot more pain for Danny later)_

SAM: Okay Danny, I forgive you. _(Kisses him on the cheek)_

DANNY: Oh thank god.

VOICE: Anyway _(Sends the two Lunches to Antarctica where they have more room to fight.)_

DANNY: Aw man _(Sees Sam glaring)_ I mean, okay.

VOICE: Hm…Looks like Ginny isn't going to come this chapter.

_(Then Ginny appears) _

GINNY: I've returned again.

VOICE: Spoke to soon.

_(Then Ginny suddenly falls asleep)_

SAM: Um…Why did you do that

DANNY: Yeah, why didn't you kill her again?

VOICE: Just watch…

_(Nothing happens for a few seconds until…_

GINNY: _**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH**_

DANNY: What the hell are you doing to her?

VOICE: Nothing, it's my new friend Fred remember?

DANNY: New friend Fre- _(Eyes widen as he realizes) _uh Artemis?

VOICE: What?

DANNY: This new friend Fred…what's his last name?

VOICE: His last name? Krueger, why do you ask?


	26. Baby

_(The Voice and Danny are waiting for their next victim and watching Ginny continue to be tortured by 'Fred')_

GINNY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DANNY: Man, what is she dreaming about that could be so horrible.

VOICE: I don't know, let's see.

_(Then a giant TV screen appears that shows what Ginny is dreaming about.)_

DREAM HARRY: I love you Hermione

DREAM HERMIONE: What about you girlfriend ummmm…what was her name again?

DREAM HARRY: ummmm…don't know don't care (Kisses Dream Hermione)

GINNY: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

VOICE: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

_(does happy dance)_

DANNY: Oooookay

_(Later)_

VOICE: Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars

BABY: Huh?

VOICE: Baby…he's only one year old

BABY: What? I'm way older than that!

DANNY: Then why do people call you baby?

BABY: Because it's my name, duh!

VOICE: Baby…is not a very cute baby

BABY: I'm not a baby.

VOICE: Then why do you sleep in a crib?

DANNY: Yeah with a bunch of stuffed animals

VOICE: and a mobile

DANNY: that plays lullabies.

BABY: I don't sleep with any of that.

VOICE: This picture says different.

_(Picture of Baby sleeping in a crib with stuffed animals and a mobile comes up)_

BABY: THAT PHOTO IS FAKE!!

VOICE: No it's not

BABY: Yes it is!

DANNY: Aww, I think the baby needs a nap

BABY: SHUT UP OR ELSE!!!

DANNY: Or else what?

BABY: Or else I will make you my slave by implanted an egg in your body.

DANNY:…uh, you're gonna have sex with me? Sorry man but I don't roll that way.

VOICE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BABY: Grrr that's not what I meant!

DANNY: Oh I get it, you're not totally comfortable with your sexuality yet huh? Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with liking men.

BABY: I'M NOT GAY!!

DANNY: riiiiiiight

BABY: I HATE YOU ALL!!!!

_(Suddenly, a pacifier appears in baby's mouth)_

VOICE: Baby…needs to calm down

BABY: _(Spits out pacifier)_ I do not, and don't stick pacifiers in my mo-

(Another pacifier appears in Baby's mouth)

BABY:_ (Spits out second pacifier)_ STOP THAT YOU [CENSORED

VOICE: Baby…you shouldn't say bad words

BABY: You're not my mom so shut up

VOICE: Please, if I was your mom I would have had an abortion, and I don't even believe in abortions.

BABY: Oh yeah, well if you were my mother, I would have strangled you with the cord the moment I came out.

_(Meanwhile)_

STEWIE: Blast! Why didn't I think of that?

_(Back with the Voice)_

VOICE: Okay, anyway, Baby…I think it's time for your nap.

BABY: I'm not taking a nap you- _(another pacifier appears in Babies mouth)_

BABY: _(Spits out pacifier)_ WILL YOU QUIT-

_(Another pacifier)_

BABY: _(Spits out pacifier) _STOP IT

VOICE: hm…I think I'm going to have to try a different approach here.

_(Another pacifier appears in Baby's mouth)_

BABY: _(Tries to spit pacifier out but can't) _mmm mmm mmmm **(Translation: What the hell?)**

DANNY: Did you superglue that pacifier into his mouth?

VOICE: _(grins evilly)_ Maybe

BABY: MMM MMMM MMMMMMMM MMM MM MM MMMMM **(Translation: GET THIS PACIFIER OUT OF MY MOUTH)**

DANNY: What did he say?

VOICE: Dude, read the translations

DANNY: Oh

BABY: MMM MMM MM MMMM MMMMMMMM! **(Translation: GET RID OF THIS PACIFIER!)**

VOICE: No, now come on, it's time for your nap

BABY: M'm mmm mmmmmm mmm mmm! **(Translation: I'm not taking any nap)**

DANNY: Yeah you are, babies need to take nap.

BABY: M'M MMM M MMMM! **(Translation: I'M NOT A BABY!)**

VOICE: Yes you are and it time to take a nap!

BABY: MM! **(Translation: NO!)**

VOICE: YES!

_(Then Baby falls asleep)_

VOICE: Now you know Baby…the-

BABY: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM **(Translation: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH)**

DANNY: What the hell?

VOICE: Hey wait a minute, FRED!

_(then Freddy Kruger appears)_

DANNY: HOLY CRAP! _(hides)_

FREDDY: What?

VOICE: You're suppose to dream-torture Ginny not Baby

FREDDY: Yeah but she's dead now and I'm bored, come on.

VOICE: Weeeeell…Okay

FREDDY: SWEET! _(leaves to torture Baby more)_

VOICE: You can come out now Danny, he's gone.

_(Danny comes out from hiding)_

DANNY: Good, cause he scares me

_(Freddy comes back)_

FREDDY: BOO!

DANNY: AAAAAH! _(Faints)_

FREDDY: Wimp.

_(Then the shadowy figure comes back after a two chapter absence)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: What'd I miss?

**A/N: No ones figured out who the shadowy figure is yet. Keep guessing people!**


	27. Fusions

**A/N: First of all, I'd like to thank you all for your help. I really appreciate it. Secondly, regarding the identity of the shadowy figure, some of you have been asking me to give you a hint as to who it really is and I've decided to be nice and give you one, but I warn you, it is very discreet; there's a good chance that you will be unable to find it, it's THAT well hidden. Lastly, this chapter is dedicated to Clare-stovold who's been suggesting I torture Gogeta, Vegitto, and Gotenks for a while now. I couldn't pick one so I decided to torture them all at once, yay!**

NARRATOR: Once upon a time there was a really weird sixteen year old girl who thought it would be fun to mercilessly torture DBZ characters, with help from her friends Danny Phantom and The Shadowy Figure. One day, they decided to do something extra special, torture three characters at once, they-

DANNY: Uh, hang on, Artemis?

ARTEMIS: What?

DANNY: Who is that? _(points at narrator)_

ARTEMIS: That's the narrator I rented

SHADOWY FIGURE: You rented a narrator?

ARTEMIS: Yup, we have him for this whole chapter. _(Grins)_

DANNY: Ooooookay

**(A/N: Okay, this is it not, the well thought out and very cleverly hidden hint at The Shadowy Figure's true identity is in this next part, now as I've warned you before, this clue is so well hidden, you will never notice it in a million years, okay, here it is.)**

SHADOWY FIGURE: I'm a girl

**(I bet you didn't notice it…now, on with the chapter.)**

NARRATOR: And so, the evil torturing session began

VOICE: Know Your S-

DANNY: Wait a minute

VOICE: What?

DANNY: How are we suppose to torture 3 people at once?

VOICE: Don't worry, I have it covered, I'll torture Gogeta, you torture Vegitto and The Shadowy Figure will torture Gotenks.

SHADOWY FIGURE: I get to torture someone? AWESOME!!

NARRATOR: And so, the evil torturing session began…again

VOICE: Know your-

SHADOWY FIGURE: wait

VOICE: Now what?

NARRATOR: Artemis was beginning to get annoyed at her fellow torturers

SHADOWY FIGURE: How can we torture Gogeta and Vegitto when they're both fusions of the same two people?

VOICE: Because I'm the writer and I say we can, now no more questions

SHADOWY FIGURE: But-

VOICE: I SAID NO MORE!!

NARRATOR: And so, the torturing began again for the third time now, any more delays and I will have to charge overtime but that's another story…

VOICE: Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars

DANNY: Vegitto…is gay

VEGITTO: I am not!

DANNY: Yeah you are, in fact, you have a crush on Gogeta

VEGITTO: I do not!

VOICE: Gogeta…is ugly

GOGETA:(_in stereotypical 'gay guy' voice)_ Excuse me? I am in no way ugly, I am the most handsome man in the world. _(Does weird super model pose and photographers take pictures)_

NARRATOR: It was very clear that Gogeta was a narcissist

VOICE: Gogeta…is in love with himself

VEGITTO: You can say that again

GOGETA: You are just jealous that I am more amazingly handsome than you_ (poses again and more photographers take his picture)_

VOICE: _(kills photographers)_ YOU'RE NOT HELPING!!

SHADOWY FIGURE: Gotenks…plays with dolls

GOTENKS: No I don't, they're action figures

SHADOWY FIGURE: Barbie dolls aren't action figures

GOTENKS:_ (Starts crying)_ I HATE YOU _(runs away)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: WIMP!!

DANNY: Vegitto…is still totally in love with Gogeta

VEGITTO: NO WAY!!

VOICE: Gogeta…wants to marry himself

GOGETA: _(gasps)_ How did you know?

VOICE:…

DANNY: How can you marry yourself…unless you marry Vegitto

VOICE: What?

GOGETA: What?

VEGITTO: WHAT?

NARRATOR: No one understood what Danny meant by that, what could he mea-

SHAODWY FIGURE: WOULD YOU JUST QUIT IT!!

NARRATOR: _(Offended) _Well I never!

DANNY: I mean, Gogeta is the fusion of Goku and Vegeta, and Vegitto is the other fusion of Goku and Vegeta, so technically you're the same!

GOGETA:_ (gasps)_ You're right, we are. Yay, I'm getting married.

_(Then Gotenks runs back in)_

GOTENKS: I just asked my mommies and they said Barbie's are action figures, so there _(sticks tongue out at Shadowy Figure)_

NARRATOR: Gotenks severe immaturity was getting on the Shadowy Figure's nerves

SHADOWY FIGURE: Ya think? Artemis

VOICE: Yeah?

SHADOWY FIGURE: Do me a favor, _(whispers in Voice's ear)_

VOICE: Okay!

_(Then Gotenks disappears)_

DANNY: uh…where did he go?

VOICE and SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Grin evilly)_

_(Meanwhile)_

GOTENKS: Where am I?

_(Suddenly, a door opens and in steps…)_

GOTENKS: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

_(Meanwhile)_

VOICE: Anyway, let's get ready for the wedding of Vegitto and Gogeta, who wants to be the bride?

GOGETA: ME ME ME ME!

VOICE: Okay, Gogeta is the bride

GOGETA: yay! _(runs off, comes back five minutes later in a wedding dress)_

VOICE: …Is that a dress?

GOGETA: Yeah, isn't it beautiful?

VOICE: Um…I guess

DANNY: Anyway, let's get on with the ceremony

VEGITTO: Wait! I am not doing this!

VOICE: Yes you are! _(clears throat)_ Anyway…We are gathered here today to witness the bonding of Gogeta and Vegitto, is there anyone here besides the groom-

VEGITTO: Damn it!

VOICE:-who has a reason these two should not be wed…Okay then, Do you Vegitto take Gogeta to be you're lawfully wedded wife…er husband…whatever.

VEGITTO: N-

VOICE: IMPERIO! SAY YOU DO!

VEGITTO: You do

VOICE: No, I do

VEGITTO: I do

VOICE: Good, now, do you Gogeta take Vegitto to be your lawfully wedded wife and/or husband

GOGETA: _(Crying)_ I do

VOICE: Than by the power vested in me by me, I now pronounce you husband and…um…husband I guess, you my now kiss um…eachother

GOGETA: YAY I'M MARRIED!!

VEGITTO: Wait just one-_ (is cut off when Gogeta kisses him)_

VOICE: Aww, they make such an…odd couple

GOGETA: _(Stops kissing Vegitto)_ Come on Vegitto, it's time for the honeymoon!

VEGITTO: HONEYMOON? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

_(Gogeta flies off with Vegitto)_

NARRATOR: And so, the new couple went off to start their new lives together

DANNY: Wait, where did you send Gotenks

VOICE: _(grins evilly)_ I put him in a room with the ultimate evil

DANNY: _(gasps)_ Ginny

VOICE: No, the only thing in this world more evil than Ginny

DANNY: _(gasps again)_ You don't mean…

VOICE: Yes…MARY-SUE's!

_(Meanwhile)_

MARY-SUE 1: Hi, I'm Destiny Moon Rose Blossom

MARY-SUE 2: I'm Serenity Mystic Ocean Rayne Ebony Rainbow

MARY-SUE 3: And I'm Contessa Ava Cassandra Dementia Morgana Lucia Katia Angelina Elissa Lucinda Melissa Banana fanna bo bissa III

GOTENKS: AAAAAAAH TOO MANY SUE'S_ (takes a gun and shoots himself)_

_(Meanwhile)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: I guess the sue-ness was just too much for him

NARRATOR: And they all lived happily ever af-

VOICE: Hang on narrator! _(Writes something on a piece of paper)_ Here! _(Hands narrator the paper)_

NARRATOR: _(reading off of paper)_ 'And they all lived happily ever after…except for Ginny who died of Syphilis two weeks later'

VOICE: _(Grins evilly)_


	28. Babidi

_(Artemis, Danny, and The Shadowy Figure were once again waiting for their next victim)_

DANNY:…That narrator from the last chapter seemed pretty annoyed when he left

ARTEMIS: I know, I think he said something about rude shadow people

_(Danny and Artemis look at the Shadowy Figure)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: What?

_(Later)_

VOICE: Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars

BABIDI: Huh?

VOICE: Babidi…is not a real wizard

BABIDI: Excuse me? I am a real wizard; in fact I'm the greatest wizard who ever lived! _(Smiles smugly)_

DANNY: Wow, big headed much?

VOICE: Babidi…can't do magic

BABIDI: I can too, in fact, I'm the one who helped Arthur become king!

SHADOWY FIGURE: That was Merlin

BABIDI: Well…I'm like, the greatest escape artist ever!

VOICE: That was Harry Houdini

BABIDI: Well I defeated the dark lord Voldemort…twice!

DANNY: That's Harry Potter

BABIDI: Um…I have my own show on A&E where I do magic

VOICE: That's Criss Angel

DANNY: Man, you really can't do magic _(sniggers)_

BABIDI: OH YEAH!?! I'LL SHOW YOU! ALACA PINEAPPLUS

_(Then Danny turns into a pineapple)_

DANNY: OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO?

SHADOWY FIGURE: He turned you into a pineapple

DANNY: OH, YA THINK? ARTEMIS, DO SOMETHING!!

VOICE: Later, first we have to finish torturing Babidi

DANNY: WHAT?!?! CHANGE ME BACK!

VOICE: uh huh, anyway, Babidi…is a mutant frog thing

BABIDI: I AM NOT

_(Then a fly flies past Babidi's face and he snatches it out of the air with his tongue)_

VOICE: Yeah riiiiiight

BABIDI: ALACA GIRLIO

_(Artemis grabs Danny the Pineapple and uses him as a shield against the spell, which hits Danny, which turns him into a girl)_

DANNY: _(In girl voice)_ what am I now?

VOICE: Now you're Danielle Fenton _(Sniggers)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Laughs uncontrollably)_

DANNY: OH MY GOD!!

VOICE: Babidi…is a porn star

BABIDI: No I'm not, only on weekends!

VOICE: …

SHADOWY FIGURE: …

DANNY: …

VOICE: Okay, didn't need to know that.

BABIDI: What? People are always telling me how great I am in tho-

VOICE: Okay enough!

DANNY: God this guy is a freak

BABIDI: ALACA DIAPARIUS

_(Then Danny is turned into a diaper)_

DANNY: A diaper? A DIAPER? OF ALL THINGS, WHY A DIAPER?

BABIDI: Because I don't like you!

VOICE: Okay that's enough!

DANNY: Good, are you going to change me back now?

VOICE: No

DANNY: WHAT?

VOICE: Babidi…is still a lousy magician!

BABIDI: I am not!

VOICE: Really?

BABIDI: Yeah, I can do anything with magic

VOICE: Can you turn yourself into a flea?

BABIDI: PSHAW!

SHADOWY FIGURE: Okay do it!

BABIDI: OKAY! _(Points his wand at himself)_ ALACA FLEABEIUS

_(Then Babidi turns into a flea)_

VOICE: Now you know Babidi…The flea

BABIDI: _(in an extremely high pitched voice) _HEY YOU TRICKED ME!

VOICE: Yup! Anyway, ALACA DANNYISNORMALUS

_(Then Danny turns back into himself)_

DANNY: Finally!

_(Then Ginny comes back)_

GINNY: Once again I'm back!

VOICE: ALACA GOKUANDFANGIRLSTRAMPLEGINNYUS

GINNY: What?

_(Then Goku and the fangirls run by and trample Ginny)_

GINNY: Ouch!

GOKU: CAN YOU PLEASE GET RID OF THESE FANGIRLS NOW!?!?!

VOICE: Um…okay!

_(Then the fangirls vanish)_

GOKU: Oh thank god!

_(Then new fangirls appear and start chasing Goku)_

GOKU: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

VOICE: _(Between laughter)_ Because that never gets old.


	29. Kami

_(Artemis, Danny and The Shadowy Figure are once again waiting for their next victim when, of course, Ginny comes back.)_

GINNY: HAH! I'm back!

DANNY: Wow, there's a surprise.

SHADOWY FIGURE: I know, how many times has this happened anyway?

ARTEMIS: Seven

GINNY: Yes, but this time I will destroy all of you, starting with you crazy author person!

ARTEMIS: _(sarcastically)_ Wow, I'm so scared.

DANNY and SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Snigger)_

GINNY: Okay that's it, I am sick of you killing me, just accept that Harry and I are made for each other and Hermione is meant to be with Ron!

ARTEMIS: _(Eye starts twitching at the thought of that, then a smile forms)_ you know what? You're right, you are perfect for Harry.

GINNY: _(smiling smugly)_ I knew you'd see things my way.

ARTEMIS: Yup, I've totally seen the light now, thank you so much Ginny.

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Leans over and whispers in Danny's ear) _What is she doing?

DANNY: I have no idea.

ARTEMIS: In fact, to show that I totally don't hate you anymore, I have some presents for you.

_(Gives Ginny three presents)_

GINNY: Wow, a red shirt with a Star Trek emblem, a Good Guy doll and a videotape with no label! That's so sweet of you Artemis.

ARTEMIS: Your welcome _(grins)_

_(Ginny leaves with 'presents')_

ARTEMIS: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA_ (Lighting and scary music)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: Did Artemis just give Ginny what I think she just gave her?

DANNY: I think so; I also think we should agree never to piss her off again.

SHADOWY FIGURE: Agreed.

_(Later)_

VOICE: Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars.

KAMI: …

VOICE: Kami… he's piccolo's mother

KAMI: Um…no I'm not, technically, Piccolo is a part of me, in fact we merged again, how did I come out of him?

VOICE: Duh! I brought you out to torture you.

KAMI: That's not very nice.

_(Then Kami's head explodes, and then it comes back like in Johnny the Homicidal Maniac when Nny went to heaven.)_

VOICE: Neither is that

KAMI: Hey!

DANNY: Kami…he's in love with Mr. Popo

KAMI: Um…ew, that's just wrong!

VOICE: What, you're saying there's never been a Kami/Mr. Popo fanfics?

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(checks)_ No

DANNY: And even if there was, that would be disturbing, like putting Hagrid with Dobby

VOICE: Actually someone did that.

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(makes pfft noise) _Yeah right, that's not true_ (checks, eyes widen)_ SWEET JESUS! _(Shoots self)_

VOICE: _(brings Shadowy Figure back to life)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: You brought me back to life?

VOICE: What? You should be used to it by now.

KAMI: Um…I'm still here you know.

_(Then Kami's head explodes and fixes itself again)_

KAMI: QUIT IT!

VOICE: Kami…indoor voice please?

KAMI: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! _(Then his head explodes again)_

VOICE: What did I just say?!

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Is still on computer looking at random pairings) _Wow, hey Danny did you know that people have started shipping Sam with Paulina?

DANNY: WHAT? SAM? MY SAM?!

VOICE: Oh yeah I heard of that.

DANNY: But I thought everyone liked Danny/Sam

VOICE: Well most people do but now there are other pairings popping up, like my personal favorite, Danny/Ember!

DANNY: Excuse me; I thought you shipped Danny/Sam!

VOICE: I do, sometimes. Some days I like Danny/Sam, and some days (like today) I prefer Danny/Ember and Sam/Paulina

SHADOWY FIGURE: You ship Sam/Paulina? But their both girls.

VOICE: So? I think Sam would be good for Paulina, she needs a major reality check, plus Sam's loyal and wouldn't just abandon her like the popular kids would.

_(Danny and the Shadowy Figure murmur in agreement.)_

DANNY: But seriously, me and Ember!

VOICE: Yup…in fact, I just had a good idea. _(Grins evilly)_

DANNY: What? What kind of idea?

VOICE: Oh you'll see, you'll see… anyway _(explodes Kami's head again)_

KAMI: Alright, that's it I'm leaving, you ignore me! You blow my head up like four times! You're worse than Popo! It's no wonder we broke u- I mean I let Piccolo absorb me, because I never actually dated Mr. Popo.

VOICE: …

DANNY: …

SHADOWY FIGURE: …_(shoots self again)_

_(One week later)_

GINNY: _(Is wearing red star trek shirt while the good guy doll whose name __'might'__ be Chucky, has chopped off both her legs while the creepy girl who came out of the TV seven days after Ginny watched the label less tape is about to start strangling her.) _You know what? I'm starting to think Artemis tricked me!

**A/N: Only a few chapters left and the identity of the Shadowy Figure is still unknown, keep guessing! Oh and BTW, I was serious about that Hagrid/Dobby thing someone really did do that, although I think it was just a joke or something, I'm not really sure. Anyway, see you next chapter.**


	30. Ginyu Force

_(Artemis, Danny, and The Shadowy Figure are waiting once again for their next victim(s).)_

DANNY: Artemis do we really have to this?

SHADOWY FIGURE: Yeah, we can't we torture someone else?

ARTEMIS: Oh come on, you know these guys are just begging to be tortured. I mean, look at them, look at those stupid poses they do I mean, they might as just wear big signs around their necks that read "Hey Artemis Day, please torture us!!"

SHADOWY FIGURE: hm…she's got a point.

_(Later)_

VOICE: Know your stars Know your star Know your stars Know your stars

GINYU FORCE: …

VOICE: The Ginyu Force…no one likes them.

CAPTAIN GINYU: We don't need to be liked, cause we're…

GINYU FORCE: THE GINYU FORCE!!

_(They all do another stupid pose…and then get electrocuted.)_

RECCOME: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!

VOICE: Everytime you losers do a stupid pose, you get electrocuted.

CAPTAIN GINYU: We don't care, because we're…

GINYU FORCE: THE GINYU FORCE!!

_(They do another stupid pose and once again get electrocuted.)_

GINYU FORCE: ow.

VOICE: I'm serious here!

DANNY: Anyway…The Ginyu Force…they're not really bad guys, they're just cheerleaders.

JEICE: We are not!! We're the best villains ever, because we're…

GINYU FORCE: THE GINYU FORCE!!

_(They do a stupid pose AGAIN, and get electrocuted AGAIN)_

VOICE: Jesus do you guys all have learning disabilities?

GINYU FORCE: …yes

VOICE: _(Repeatedly slams her head against the desk.)_

DANNY: Okay, The Ginyu Force…they are all gay with each other.

SHADOWY FIGURE: Wait, how can they be gay with each other when there're five of them?

DANNY: …well Jeice and Reccome were gay with each other but Reccome was cheating on Jeice with Guldo, who was engaged to Burter, would was secretly Captain Ginyu's reincarnated evil half brother who killed Jeice to get closer to Reccome who then married Burter to piss off Guldo who was secretly a can of cashew nuts that Reccome choked and died on when he ate them!!

SHADOWY FIGURE: RECCOME NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

VOICE: (Is now wondering why she lets these people stick around)

CAPTAIN GINYU: Uh…can we go now?

_(Then they are all electrocuted again)_

GINYU FORCE: What did we do this time?

VOICE: Nothing, I just don't like you.

JEICE: F(bleep)CK YOU!!

_(Then Jeice is turned into a piece of cheese)_

VOICE: Ha ha

CAPTAIN GINYU: Oh my god! Guys, that crazy voice just turned Jeice into cheese, do you now what this means?

GULDO: _(Is close to tears)_ It means… _(he can't say it.)_

GINYU FORCE: WE HAVE TO REWORK OUR POSES!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! _(Then they all shoot themselves)_

DANNY: …

SHADOWY FIGURE: …

VOICE: …_(brings them all back to life…except for Jeice who is still cheese…ha ha)_

GINYU FORCE: We still hate you!

VOICE: Uh huh, The Ginyu Force…they're secretly The Backstreet Boys

DANNY: Well that would explain their gayness.

GINYU FORCE: We are not.

VOICE: …shall I?

DANNY and SHADOWY FIGURE: Do it.

VOICE: IMPERIO!!

_(The Ginyu Force minus Jeice all run off for a few seconds and come back dressed like the Backstreet Boys, then music starts)_

GINYU FORCE: _(Singing badly) _We are…on fire, we have…desires, but one…is that way, which Ginyu Force member is gay? Okay…we're all gay!

VOICE and DANNY and SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Die laughing)_

VOICE: _(resurrects them)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: Hey, how could you resurrect us when you were dead too?

VOICE: Because I'm the author, duh!

CAPTAIN GINYU: Hey, why are we dressed like this.

DANNY: Because you're a crappy boy band that everyone hates?

RECCOME: F(bleep)CK YOU!

CAPTAIN GINYU: Alright, that's it… _(Turns to face the Voice)_ SWITCH!!

_(A beam thing flies out of his mouth toward the Voice, but then, a snail appears right in front of her.)_

CAPTAIN GINYU: Oh F(bleep)CK.

_(Then Captain Ginyu switches with a snail…which the Voice sends to live a horrible dull life among the other snails.)_

GINYU FORCE: _(All run away to escape the Voice's wrath…except for Jeice who is still cheese and Captain Ginyu who is a snail.)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: Hey, they're escaping

VOICE:_ (quickly turns Burter into butter, Guldo into yogurt, and Reccome into cream) _Problem solved.

DANNY: Say, I just noticed, Ginny never came back this chapter, I was sure she would be pissed off over what you did to her last time.

VOICE: She did come back actually, but I took care of it.

SHADOWY FIGURE: What did you do?

VOICE: _(grins evilly)_

_(Meanwhile)_

GINNY: Wow, it sure was nice of Artemis to give me this free vacation, I guess she's finally starting to accept the complete and total 100 percent non love potion induced love between me and Harry. _(Walks down hotel hallway searching for her room) _Let's see, where is my room?...ah here it is, room 1408. _(Walks in and shuts the door behind her.)_


	31. Future Trunks

_(Artemis Day, Danny, and The Shadowy Figure are waiting for their next victim, Danny and The Shadowy Figure are staring at a steel door behind Artemis, very confused.)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: …

DANNY: …Um, Artemis?

ARTEMIS: Yes?

DANNY: What is that? _(points to steel door)_

ARTEMIS: _(Looks) _That is a door.

DANNY: …I know that, it's just that I don't recall it being there for any of the last thirty chapters.

ARTEMIS: That's because I just put it in.

SHADOWY FIGURE: Why?

ARTEMIS: _(Grins)_ Well you see, the other night I was watching this movie called 'Labyrinth' it was really cool, and they had this place called the Bog of Eternal Stench and anything that goes in there smells horrible forever! So after I finished watching it, I went to the Labyrinth universe, took the bog, brought it back here and put it behind this door so if Ginny comes back, and we all know she will, I can throw her in. And then she'll stink forever! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!

_(Lightning and scary music)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: Where is that coming from?

DANNY: Wait, you telling me that Goblin King guy let you just take his bog?

ARTEMIS: No

DANNY: What? But you have it...wait a minute… _(Gasps) _You stole it!

ARTEMIS: I didn't steal it, I borrowed it without asking.

DANNY: SAME THING!!

SHADOWY FIGURE: Um…well aren't you worried that the Goblin King is going to you know…get pissed and come after you?

ARTEMIS: _(Waving it off) _Don't worry, I've got that covered.

DANNY: …this won't end well

_(Later)_

VOICE: Know Your Stars Know Your Stars Know Your Stars Know Your Stars

FUTURE TRUNKS: Huh?

VOICE: Future Trunks…was once involved in a threesome with 17 and 18.

FUTURE TRUNKS: _(Looks disgusted)_ Excuse me? Why would I ever be in a relationship with them, not only are they androids who destroyed my world, that's also sick and wrong.

DANNY: Yeah but you did it anyway.

FUTURE TRUNKS: I did not!

VOICE: Future Trunks…is on steroids

FUTURE TRUNKS: I am not!!

DANNY: Then why did you get all huge and bulky that one time when you became a Super Sayian 3rd grade?

FUTURE TRUNKS: Because that form was slow and I didn't-

VOICE: You're wasting our lives, Future Trunks…the Androids didn't really destroy your world, YOU DID!!

FUTURE TRUNKS: I DID NOT!!

SHADOWY FIGURE: Tell that to the angry mob from your time over there. _(points to angry mob that has just appeared.)_

ANGRY MOB: KILL FUTURE TRUNKS!!

FUTURE TRUNKS: AAAAAAAAAAAH _(Continues screaming as the Angry Mob attacks him, after beating him up for several minutes, they leave.)_ Ow!

VOICE: Well, that's what you get for destroying your own world.

FUTURE TRUNKS: I HATE YOU!!

VOICE: What else is new?

FUTURE TRUNKS: GRRRRR! THAT'S IT, NOW I CRUSH YOU.

_(Trunks powers up to Super Sayian grade and get all bulky again.)_

DANNY: coughcough'roidscoughsteroidscoughcough

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Snickers)_

FUTURE TRUNKS: I KILL YOU CRAZY VOICE!!!!!

VOICE: Oh really? How are you going to reach me if you're so slow in this form?

FUTURE TRUNKS: OH I'LL GET TO YOU ALRIGHT. _(Starts towards the Voice)_

**TWO HOURS LATER**

FUTURE TRUNKS: I bet you getting scared now aren't you?!

**FOUR HOURS LATER**

FUTURE TRUNKS: YOUR DEATH IS IMMINATE!

**TEN HOURS LATER**

FUTURE TRUNKS: I'm right on top of you now evil voice!!

DANNY: …How far has he gotten?

VOICE: Two feet

FUTURE TRUNKS: _(Is running out of breath) _I-I almost _(Gasps for air) _g-g-got yo-you! _(Faints from exhaustion and detransforms)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: …wow, what a loser.

VOICE: I know…ENNERVATE!!

FUTURE TRUNKS: _(wakes up)_ What happened?

VOICE: Oh, the angry mob came back.

_(Then angry mob comes back)_

ANGRY MOB: KILL FUTURE TRUNKS AGAIN!!

FUTURE TRUNKS: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH _(Runs away and the angry mob chases him.)_

DANNY: Okay, so far you've had fangirls chase Goku, Yamcha chase Vegeta, Jack Fenton chase Tien, and now an angry mob is chasing future Trunks. Do you enjoy it when people are chased around or something?

VOICE: Not really, I just like their fear _(Grins evilly as lightning flashes.)_

DANNY: _(Moves away from the Voice)_

_(Then Ginny comes back)_

GINNY: I'm back once again.

VOICE: YAY!! _(Knocks Ginny out and puts on a gas mask.) _Be right back.

_(The Voice and Ginny then disappear behind the door into the room which now houses the 'not stolen' Bog of Eternal Stench from the movie 'Labyrinth'.)_

VOICE: _(From behind the door) _Ennervate!

GINNY: _(Also from behind the door)_ What the- OH MY GOD THIS PLACE STINKS!! Hey, what are you doing? _(Splashing sound) _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!!!!!!!!!!

VOICE: _(Come out of the room Bog room looking very happy)_ That was so much fun, it's like Christmas came two days early.

DANNY: You may be happy now, but when the Goblin King finds out that you stole his bog he's going to come here and probably turn you into a goblin.

VOICE: I told you, I didn't steal it, I borrowed it without asking.

DANNY: And I told you –

_(Suddenly, there's a knock on the door)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: I'll get it.

DANNY: I bet that's him now.

VOICE: _(Shrugs) _Could be.

DANNY: Why are you so calm?

VOICE: _(Grins)_ You'll see.

_(The Shadowy Figure comes back)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: Um…It's Jareth the Goblin King, he wants his bog back.

VOICE: _(Gasps and looks at Danny.)_ DANNY, YOU STOLE THE GOBLIN KING'S BOG ?!

DANNY: WHAT!!!!

_(The Goblin King hears this and turns Danny into a goblin, then he takes his bog and leaves)_

DANNY: OH MY GOD! I'M A GOBLIN!!

VOICE: _(Snickers)_

DANNY: DAMN YOU ARTEMIS! DAMN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!!

VOICE: …_(To Shadowy Figure) _Want to go find my Christmas presents and shake them to see what's inside?

SHADOWY FIGURE: YAY!!

_(Then the Voice and the Shadowy Figure run out, leaving Danny the ghost goblin alone to sulk.)

* * *

_

**A/N: Only a few chapters left, I know it sucks but this story has to end sometime. Anyway, no one has yet figured out who the Shadowy Figure is nor that I slipped another clue into Chapter 29. Oh well, hopefully someone will soon. Merry Christmas Everyone!!**


	32. Bra

_(Artemis Day, Danny, and The Shadowy Figure are waiting for their next victim)_

DANNY:…Can you please turned me back into a person now?

ARTEMIS: No, you make a good goblin.

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Snickers)_

DANNY: CHANGE ME BACK!!!!

ARTEMIS: eh, maybe later.

DANNY:_ (under his breath) _I hate you.

SHADOWY FIGURE: …

ARTEMIS: …

DANNY: …

SHADOWY FIGURE: …you know what I haven't done in a while?

ARTEMIS: What?

SHADOWY FIGURE: Go to the beach, I like the beach.

DANNY: Yeah me too.

ARTEMIS: I like the beach too, maybe we can all go after we're done with today's torture session.

SHADOWY FIGURE: Sounds like a great idea!

_(Then Towelie walks in.)_

TOWELIE: Don't forget to bring a towel.

ARTEMIS: …Okay fine.

TOWELIE: …Wanna get high?

ARTEMIS: No.

TOWELIE: Okay _(Then he leaves)_

_(later)_

VOICE: Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars.

BRA: hmmm…

VOICE: Bra…is a useless character.

BRA: What? I am not; I'm just as important as all the others.

SHADOWY FIGURE: Oh really? What have you ever done that's important?

BRA: I got my dad to shave his mustache.

VOICE: hm…touché

DANNY: Bra…is probably a whore.

BRA: What? Why would you think that?

DANNY: Duh! Your name is Bra, it sounds like a whore name.

BRA: No it doesn't.

DANNY: But you know what a bra is right?

BRA: _(blushing)_ Yes.

DANNY: See.

VOICE: Bra…she slept with Goku

BRA: Ewww I did not!! _(Gags)_

DANNY: Bra…she also slept with Gohan.

BRA: _(Whining)_ No I didn't.

SHADOWY FIGURE: She also slept with Goten.

BRA: No I di- Well maybe I did that.

VOICE: and Krillen.

BRA: Er…that too.

DANNY: and Yamcha.

BRA: He's really good actually.

SHAODWY FIGURE: and Tien.

BRA: Him too.

VOICE: and Hercule.

BRA:…we were drunk.

DANNY: and Piccolo.

BRA: We'd taken a bit too much Ecstasy.

SHAODWY FIGURE: and Master Roshi.

BRA: We were bored.

VOICE: and the entire Ginyu Force

BRA: Ugh don't remind me, they were all terrible!

DANNY: and Babidi.

BRA: He was huge!

SHADOWY FIGURE: …and Chi-chi

BRA:…no comment.

VOICE and DANNY and SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Are all deeply disturbed now.)_

DANNY: We should have stopped at Goten.

VOICE: Agreed.

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Vomits)_

VOICE: Oh great, Now I have to clean all that up!

_(Then Towelie comes back)_

TOWELIE: You should use a towel for that!

VOICE: …Okay thanks Towelie.

TOWELIE: …Wanna get high?

VOICE: _(very annoyed)_ No!

TOWELIE: Okay _(Leaves)_

DANNY: That's getting annoying.

BRA: Uhh Helloooooooo? I'm still here.

VOICE: Whore.

BRA: BETCH!!!

DANNY: _(Snickers)_

VOICE: Anyway…Bra…is secretly Wonder Woman.

BRA: I wish that were true. _(Sulks)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: Yeah, than they could call you, Wonder BRA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! You get it.

_(The Voice and Danny just stare at her not laughing.)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: You- you get it?...cause you know, her name's…Bra and Wonder…sorry.

VOICE: Anyway, Bra…not only is she secretly Wonder Woman, we've stolen her magical lasso of truth!!

BRA: I don't have a magical lasso of truth, I'm not Wonder Woman.

VOICE: Oh yeah?

_(Then she lassos Bra with the magical lasso of truth.)_

VOICE: HAHA!! Now you have to tell the truth.

BRA: I once ate a bug…and liked it.

SHADOWY FIGURE: Ewww!

BRA: I have a birth mark on my right butt cheek that's shaped like Wisconsin.

DANNY and VOICE: _(Burst out laughing.)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: This is crazy!

VOICE: Get used to it.

BRA: I like to smell my own farts.

VOICE: Okay that's enough.

BRA: I wet the bed until I was fourteen.

VOICE: I said that's enough.

BRA: I haven't shaved under my arms in five years…see! _(Lifts up her arms to reveal very hairy pits.)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! _(Shots self again.)_

VOICE: OKAY THAT'S IT!

_(Then Bra spontaneously combusts.)_

BRA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! _(Runs around in circles on fire for a few minutes and then jumping out the window.)_

DANNY: Thank god.

VOICE: I know.

_(Then the Voice resurrects the Shadowy Figure again.)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: Thanks.

VOICE: Whatever…now what?

DANNY: _(Sounding hopeful)_ How about you turn me back into a human.

VOICE: Nah, I have a better idea.

DANNY: What?

_(Then The Voice lassos Danny with the magical lasso of truth.)_

SHADOWY FIGURE and VOICE:_ (Snicker)_

DANNY: My favorite color is pink.

VOICE: Ewww.

DANNY: I think Unicorns are awesome.

SHADOWY FIGURE: Loser.

DANNY: Sometimes when I kiss Sam I imagine she's Scarlett Johansson.

VOICE: Interesting, I'll remember that for later.

SHADOWY FIGURE: This is hilarious.

VOICE: I know right?

DANNY: I once had a sexual fantasy involving ten gallons of chocolate pudding, a live goat, and Mr. Lancer.

SHADOWY FIGURE: Er…okay you can make it stop now.

DANNY: Sometimes in private I like to dress up like Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick.

SHADOWY FIGURE: MAKE IT STOP!!!

VOICE: _(Knocks Danny the ghost goblin out with a frying pan.)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Relieved)_ Thank you.

VOICE: No Problem…want to go to the beach now?

SHADOWY FIGURE: Cool!

_(Then Towelie appears again.)  
_

TOWELIE: Don't forget to bring a towel.

VOICE: _(Losing her temper)_ ALL RIGHT ALREADY WE KNOW!! WE'LL BRING A FREAKING TOWEL!! GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TOWELIE, DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO THAN GET HIGH AND BOTHER PEOPLE WITH ALL YOU'RE TOWEL TALK? YOU'RE PATHETIC!!

TOWELIE: …

VOICE: …

SHADOWY FIGURE: …

TOWELIE: …Wanna get high?

_(Then The Voice shots Towelie.)_

_(Meanwhile)_

BRA: Stupid crazy Voice, setting me on fire, making tell her all my secrets _(Continues muttering obscenities.)_

_(Bra walks down the street in angry silence until she starts hearing strange noises.)_

BRA: What the- _(Turns around and sees the source of the noise, her eyes widen,) _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

**I'm sorry to say there is only one more chapter after this and then the finale, I'm sorry to disappoint anyone, but that's just the way it goes. Anyway, nobody has figured out The Shadowy Figure's true identity yet, but even if no one does it will be revealed at the end of the story so don't fret. One more thing, the bit with Danny saying he likes to dress like Shirley Temple is from a "Weird Al" Yankovic song, I used it because it was funny and Weird Al's awesome so yeah…that's all.**

**P.S.: I'm sure you're all confused about the very end of this chapter…well, bye!!**


	33. Bardock

_(Artemis, Danny, and the Shadowy Figure are waiting for their next victim. The Shadowy Figure is currently watching TV)_

ARTEMIS: …uh, Shadowy Figure?

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Still watching TV) _Bu habba wa wa

ARTEMIS: You've been watching TV for four weeks straight; don't you think you should stop now?

SHADOWY FIGURE: Bugga Fragga Mugga

DANNY: _(Waves his hand in the Shadowy Figure's face, she doesn't react) _I think she's dead.

ARTEMIS: What is she even watching?

DANNY: _(Looks at the screen)_ Looks like that movie '300'.

ARTEMIS: _(Scoffs)_ Dumb movie.

DANNY: You think? A lot of people like it.

ARTEMIS: That doesn't make it good.

DANNY: Well I liked it, that pit of death they had was pretty cool.

ARTEMIS: _(Suddenly paying attention)_ Did you say 'Pit of Death'?

DANNY: Yeah they kicked some guy into it.

ARTEMIS: _(Suddenly starts smiling evilly)_

DANNY: Why are you grinning like tha- oh no.

ARTEMIS: Oh yes!

DANNY: No way, there is no way you are going to the 300 universe and stealing the pit of death!

_(5 minutes later)_

DANNY: I can't believe you stole the pit of death.

ARTEMIS: Hmmmm, who should I throw into my newly acquired PIT OF DEATH _(lightning)_ first?

DANNY: Was the lightning really necessary?

ARTEMIS: Of course it was, now let me think…oh I know.

_(Then Ginny appears, as if it would be anyone else, but then Artemis and Danny recoil in shock.)_

DANNY: OH MY GOD!! _(Faints)_

ARTEMIS: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

GINNY: What?

ARTEMIS: YOU SMELL TERRIBLE!!

GINNY: _(Losing her temper) _OF COURSE I SMELL TERRIBLE, YOU THREW ME INTO THE BOG OF ETERNAL STENCH, NOW HARRY WILL NEVER DATE ME AGAIN.

ARTEMIS: You say that like it's a bad thing.

GINNY: GRRRRRRRRRRR!

_(Then Artemis throws Ginny into the Pit of Death.)_

GINNY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

ATREMIS: That's better.

DANNY: Yeah except your suppose to kick her into the Pit of Death.

ARTEMIS: Oh…ah whatever.

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Still watching mind-rotting TV)_ Aber flaber.

ARTEMIS: You said it Shadowy Figure.

_(Later)_

VOICE: Know Your Stars Know Your Stars Know Your Stars Know Your Stars.

BARDOCK: Huh?

VOICE: Bardock…he's a bad parent.

BARDOCK: What? I am not a bad parent.

DANNY: Oh really? Well let's look at the facts. First, in your movie, you didn't even know when Goku was born.

VOICE: Now that's bad.

DANNY: Second, in the twenty seconds you were with baby Goku in that movie, all you did was scoff at his power level and then leave.

VOICE: _(Makes 'tsk' sounds)_

DANNY: Finally, I saw no mention of your other son in the movie.

BARDOCK: What's your point?

DANNY: My point is that you have the parenting skills of a toothpick, I mean, do you even know your first son's name?

BARDOCK: Of course I do, it's…um…wait, don't tell me.

DANNY: _(Rolls his eyes)_

BARDOCK: …um…Broly?

DANNY: No

BARDOCK: …Nappa?

VOICE: Getting warmer.

BARDOCK: …um, Mickey Mouse?

VOICE: _(Sighs) _Yeah that's it.

BARDOCK: HA! I knew I'd get it, now who's the bad parent.

DANNY: …

VOICE: Anyway, Bardock…he-

DANNY: Uh Artemis?

VOICE: What?

DANNY: Before we continue, can we please to something about The Shadowy Figure? She's drooling on my hand.

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Still rotting her mind with TV)_ Mezza Fezza.

VOICE: _(Rolls her eyes)_ Fine. _(Then she reaches over and changes the TV station)_

TV ANNOUNCER: And now back to Yu-Gay-Oh!, oh damn it I did it again!

SHADOWY FIGURE: Mezza Fezza?

_(In the TV Show)  
_

YUGI: I love friendship!

TEA: I love friendship too!

TRISTAN: Friendship is so hard core!

JOEY: I have an idea, let's spend the whole show talking about friendship!

TEA: Okay, it's not like we do anything else anyway!

SHADOWY FIGURE: Mezza Fezza?

_(2.5 seconds later)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! TOO MUCH FRIENDSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!! _(Takes a sledgehammer and destroys the TV)_

DANNY: …

VOICE: …well at least we snapped her out of it.

DANNY: Yeah, but she destroyed the TV.

VOICE: Relax, I can just make another one later.

BARDOCK: Um…I'm still here you know.

_(Then Bardock's head explodes, and puts itself together again in five seconds.)_

BARDOCK: Okay, now you're just reusing running gags from previous chapters! That's so lame!

_(Then a piano falls on Bardock.)_

VOICE: _(Turning to Danny)_ Danny, have I dropped a piano on anyone's head yet?

DANNY: No, I don't think so.

VOICE: EXCELLENT!!

BARDOCK: ow.

SHADOWY FIGURE: Baby!

BARDOCK: Friendship!

SHADOWY FIGURE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! _ (Goes into a fetal position.)_

VOICE: Hey! I'm the only one here allowed to torture people!

BARDOCK: Android 16.

VOICE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! _(Also goes into fetal position)_

DANNY: That's not nice!

BARDOCK: Do I have to do you too.

DANNY: Wait…_do_ me? Uh no thanks, I'm straight.

BARDOCK: _(Getting angry)_ I didn't mean it like that!

VOICE: _(Suddenly getting better) _Then what did you mean?

BARDOCK: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

VOICE: Okay anyway, Bardock…he had AIDS.

BARDOCK: WHAT?! I do not.

DANNY: Yes you do!

BARDOCK: No I don't, and if you say that again I'll kill you.

_(Then music starts)_

VOICE: _(Singing)_ You have AIDS.

DANNY and SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Also singing)_ Yes you have AIDS.

VOICE: I hate to tell ya boy that you have AIDS.

DANNY and SHADOWY FIGURE: You've got the AIDS.

VOICE: You may have caught it when you stuck that filthy needle in here.

DANNY and SHADOWY FIGURE: Or maybe all that unprotected sex put you here.

VOICE: It isn't clear.

DANNY and SHADOWY FIGURE: But what we're certain of is…

VOICE: You have AIDS.

DANNY and SHADOWY FIGURE: Yes you have AIDS.

VOICE: Not HIV-

VOICE and DANNY and SHADOWY FIGURE: But full blown AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS.

DANNY and SHADOWY FIGURE: Be sure that you see that this is not HIVVVVVVVVV.

VOICE and DANNY and SHADOWY FIGURE: But full blown AIDS! Not HIV but really full blown AIDS!

DANNY: _(in baritone) _I'm sorry I wish it was something less seriouuuuuuuuuus.

VOICE and DANNY and SHADOWY FIGURE: But it's AIDS! You've got the AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS!

BARDOCK: …I'm leaving. _(Gets up and leaves)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: Do you think we upset him?

VOICE: Maybe.

DANNY: I'm more worried about upsetting the readers with that AIDS thing.

VOICE: Oh come on, I got it from Family Guy. And besides, it's just a joke.

DANNY: Yeah well Family Guy got crap for it so whose to say we would.

VOICE: Okay fine. _(Addressing readers)_ To anyone offended by that AIDS thing, I'm sorry.

DANNY: Okay good, now do you know what would really make me happy?

VOICE: Let me guess, turn you back into a human?

DANNY: Yes, please, I don't want to be a goblin anymore!

VOICE: Alright Alright done be a baby, I'll change you back…

DANNY: Thank you.

VOICE: …in the next chapter.

DANNY: WHAT?

_(Meanwhile)_

BARDOCK:_ (Walking down the same street Bra was last chapter.) _Stupid Voice, stupid voice's friends! I'll get them for this, some day!

_(Then he hears something behind him.)_

BARDOCK: _(Turning around)_ What the- _(His eyes widen in fear)_, oh no. OH NO!! NOT YOU! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

**A/N: Hey guess what, I lied! This is not the last chapter before the finale. This is the second-to-last. Which means the next chapter is the real last chapter before the finale, and I mean that this time. So see ya next chapter!**


	34. Shenlong

(Artemis, Danny, and The Shadowy Figure are waiting for their next victim

_(Artemis, Danny, and The Shadowy Figure are waiting for their next victim.)  
_

DANNY: …So is this really it?

ARTEMIS: Huh?

DANNY: You know; our last chapter.

ARTEMIS: Oh, yup, this is the last one.

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Bursts into tears and then pull Artemis and Danny into a bone crushing hug)_ I'M GONNA MISS YOU GUYS!!

DANNY: Can't…breathe.

ARTEMIS: Air! I need air!!

SHADOWY FIGURE: Sorry. _(Lets them go)_

ARTEMIS: Don't be so down, it's not like we're never going to see each other again.

DANNY: What do you mean?

ARTEMIS: Sorry, that information is classified.

DANNY: What?

_(Later)_

VOICE: Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars Know your stars

DANNY: …

SHADOWY FIGURE: …

DANNY: Uh Artemis? Where's the victim?

SHADOWY FIGURE: Yeah, and what are those seven orange things down on the stage?

VOICE: Oh yeah, I completely forgot. _(Clears throat) _ARISE ETERNAL DRAGON SHENLONG!!

_(Then the seven dragon balls start glowing and the dragon god explodes out)_

DANNY: O.O

SHADOWY FIGURE: O.O

VOICE: Are you too okay?

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Faints)_

VOICE: ALRIGHT-Y THEN!!

SHENLONG: Why have you summoned me?

VOICE: To torture you.

SHENLONG: I grant wishes, I do not get tortured. Now make you two wishes.

VOICE: Okay, first I wish you would stay and be tortured.

SHENLONG: DAMN IT!! Okay fine.

VOICE: Great, now let's get started. _(Clears throat)_ Shenlong… he's a genie.

SHENLONG: I am not a genie, I am the dragon god Shenlong, and I do not get tortured, I grant wishes. Now tell me your next wish.

VOICE: But my next one is the last one, and then you'll leave.

SHENLONG: I know, isn't it great?

SHADOWY FIGURE: It's too bad you can't just wish for more wishes.

VOICE: _(Grins evilly)_

DANNY: _(To the Shadowy Figure) _Now look what you've done! You've given her ideas!!

VOICE: Okay then, I wish I had two more wishes.

SHENLONG: DAMN IT AGAIN!! Okay, you got it.

VOICE: EXCELLENT!! Now then, Shenlong… he-

SHADOWY FIGURE: I wish I had a soda!

_(Then Shenlong gives Shadowy Figure a soda)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: Cool!

SHENLONG: That's one wish down.

VOICE: What the hell did you do that for?

SHADOWY FIGURE: I was thirsty, sue me.

VOICE: Great, now I have to wish for another two wishes.

SHADOWY FIGURE: Why don't you wish for more than two?

VOICE: _(Grins evilly)_

DANNY: YOU GAVE HER ANOTHER IDEA!!

VOICE: I wish I had TWELVE MORE WISHES!!

SHENLONG: OH COME OOON! _(Sighs loudly) _Okay granted.

VOICE: Excellent, now-

SHADOWY FIGURE: I WISH I HAD A HAM AND CHEESE SNADWICH!!

SHENLONG: Granted.

_(Then a ham and cheese sandwich appears in front of the shadowy figure.)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: SWEET!!

VOICE: GOD DAMMIT!!

DANNY: I WISH I HAD AN AWESOME CAR!!

VOICE: DON'T YOU START!!

SHADOWY FIGURE: I WISH I COULD CONTROL BIRDS WITH MY MIND!!

DANNY: I WISH I HAD A HOT SUPERMODEL TO GO WITH MY AWESOME CAR!!

SHADOWY FIGURE: I WISH I HAD A GIANT STONE SCULPTURE OF JOHNNY DEPP!!

DANNY: I WISH I HAD A TEAM OF MARTIAL ARTISTS AS MY BODYGUARDS!!

SHADOWY FIGURE: I WISH RAOUL FROM PHANTOM OF THE OPERA WOULD GET HIT BY A TRUCK.

DANNY: I WISH I WAS DATING CAMERON DIAZ!!

SHADOWY FIGURE: I WISH I OWNED JUPITER!!

DANNY: I WISH I HAD A NEVER ENDING SUPPLY OF FRIED CHICKEN!!

SHADOWY FIGURE: I WISH I HAD A VOICE LIKE MORGAN FREEMAN!!

DANNY: I WISH-

VOICE: _(Is really angry now.)_ OKAY THAT IS IT!!

_(Then the room explodes, but no one is hurt.)_

DANNY and SHADOWY FIGURE:_ (Cower in fear)_

VOICE: _(Calming down)_ Okay, first I wish for three more wishes.

SHENLONG: Granted.

VOICE: Now I wish you would never granted these two _(points at Danny and the Shadowy Figure) _wishes ever again.

SHENLONG: Granted.

DANNY: Aw man.

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Sounding like Morgan Freeman)_ Well it was fun while it lasted.

DANNY: OMG!! YOU SOUND LIKE MORGAN FREEMAN!!

SHADOWY FIGURE: I KNOW, ISN'T IT GREAT??

VOICE: …I wish her voice was back to normal.

SHENLONG: Granted.

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Sounding normal again)_ I hate you.

VOICE: Your welcome, anyway, Shenlong…he's a wish granting chameleon.

SHENLONG: I am a dragon, not a chameleon.

VOICE: Then why do you change colors?

SHENLONG: I don't.

_(Then Shenlong turns blue.)_

SHENLONG: What the F-ck?

_(Then Shenlong turns purple.)_

SHENLONG: STOP IT!!

_(Then Shenlong turns rainbow colors.)_

VOICE: Shenlong…he's a gay rights activists.

SHENLONG: THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

DANNY: _(Singing)_ 'Somewhere over the rainbow'

SHENLONG: YOU PEOPLE SUCK!!

VOICE: Shenlong…is a Harry Potter fan.

SHENLONG: YOU- well actually that one's true.

VOICE: and he ships Harry/Hedwig!

DANNY and SHADOWY FIGURE: Eeeeew!

SHENLONG: _(Looks ready to vomit.)_ What the hell is wrong with you? I would never do that!! It's just sick.

VOICE: Oh, then what do you ship?

SHENLONG: The only ship that makes sense…Hedwig/Voldemort!!

DANNY: …

SHADOWY FIGURE: …

VOICE: …Cat **(1), **if you're reading this, I've found your soulmate.

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(faints again)_

VOICE: Man that's getting annoying.

SHENLONG: Can I go now?

VOICE: Fine, I wish you were killed in a nuclear explosion.

SHENLONG: Granted…wait-

_(Then Shenlong is killed in a nuclear explosion.)_

DANNY: Poor Shenlong, we barely knew him.

VOICE: Yeah, but he did leave you with fried chicken, an awesome car, a martial arts team, and Cameron Diaz as your new girlfriend.

DANNY: _(dreamily) _Yeah…

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Waking up)_ What about Sam?

DANNY: Who?

SHADOWY FIGURE: Whatever…so that's it then, this is over?

VOICE: Well there is still the finale.

DANNY: What happens in the finale?

VOICE: Well we're going to find out the Shadowy Figures real identity.

DANNY: That's good, because I've been wondering.

SHADOWY FIGURE: You mean Artemis didn't tell you? I'm-

_(Meanwhile)_

COW: Moooo.

_(Meanwhile)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: And that's who I really am.

DANNY: Well it's nice to know.

VOICE: Okay, that's it for this one.

DANNY: Wait, I thought you said you were going to turn me back into a human, I'm still a goblin you know.

VOICE: I know, but why didn't you just wish yourself back to normal when Shenlong was here?

DANNY: _(His eye widen in realization,he starts sobbing) _God Dammit!! (Bangs his head against the desk.)

SHADOWY FIGURE: …Now what?

VOICE: Nothing, we just…

_(Then suddenly, the door is broken down and a bunch of strange people wonder in.)_

VOICE: What the hell?

STRANGE PEOPLE: OOOOOOOOOOOOH!!

VOICE, DANNY, SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Realizing who it is)_ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

* * *

**Sorry this took so long, but as previously stated, this is the last chapter. All that's left is the finale. I'm sorry if anyone is saddened by this news but that's just the way it goes.**

**(1)-Name changed for privacy reasons.**


	35. Finale Part 1

_(The stage is empty and quiet_

_(The stage is empty and quiet. Then the sound of panting disturbs the peace, and Goku ambles in tiredly.)_

GOKU: huff- huff- F-f-f-finally, n-no more f-f-f-f-fangirls (Faints).

_(Two hours later)_

GOKU: _(Wakes up and yawns), _Whew, I needed that.

_(Then suddenly, Vegeta runs in.)_

GOKU: _(Happily)_ Hey Vegeta! I haven't seen you around lately, what 'cha been up to?

VEGETA: Hiding!!

GOKU: Hiding?

VEGETA: Yes! From Yamcha, he's in love with me and I've been running from him since chapter 10!!

GOKU: Wow, that's a lot of chapters.

VEGETA: I KNOW!! AND HE JUST WON'T QUIT!! _(Burst into tears)_ I DON'T WANT TO BE YAMCHA'S BITCH!! _(Sobs)_

GOKU: Ooookay.

_(Then Gohan the dog comes in with Trunks the underwear on his back.)_

GOHAN and TRUNKS: Hey Dad.

GOKU: Hi Son.

VEGETA: TRUNKS WHAT THE FCK?! YOU'RE UNDERWEAR!!

TRUNKS: OH YA THINK?!

_(Then Goten comes in wearing a straight jacket.)_

GOHAN: Hey man, what happened to you?

GOTEN: I just got out of the nut house!!

VEGETA: Why were you there?

GOTEN: _(About to cry)_ I had a breakdown because- because Mom sent Mr. Fluffywaffles away to Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends! (Sobs)

GOKU: What? No she didn't.

GOTEN: _(Immediately stops crying)_ Really?

GOKU: Yeah, she sent him St. Brutus Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Make-Believe Chipmunks.

GOTEN: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

GOHAN: Don't be a wimp bro; at least you didn't almost get 'fixed' by a backwards doctor!!

GOKU and VEGETA and TRUNKS and GOTEN: Ouch.

GOHAN: YA THINK?! Thank god I got away in one piece.

GOKU: How did you get away from him?

GOHAN: _(Getting an evil look…or as evil as a dog can look)_ Well let's just say he's 'watching TV'.

_(Meanwhile)_

VET: _(Watching TV)_ Ha-ha! Oh Dr. Robert Romano, you slay me. 'Everyone's Retarded' indeed.

_(Back with the Z fighters)_

TRUNKS: Well, now what?

GOKU: I don't know.

_(Then Piccolo, Krillen, Chotazu, and Bulma A.K.A. Bulmo come in)_

GOKU: _(Looking at Piccolo who is dressed like an elf)_ Hey look guys, Piccolo's coming out.

PICCOLO: SHUT UP!! I am not 'coming out', that crazy voice told Santa Claus that I was an elf and he kidnapped me!!

GOHAN: Wow, that's lame.

PICCOLO: _(Grabs Gohan and shakes him)_ DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY JACK-IN-THE-BOXES I HAD TO MAKE?! DO YOUUUUUUUUUUU?!

TRUNKS: Woah, calm down man.

GOTEN: Hey look, it's a Leprechaun _(Points at Krillen)_

KRILLEN: Fck You.

GOTEN: Chotazu, why are you covered in blood?

CHOTAZU: _(evil look)_ Well the sadistic voice had me arrested by Muppets, and once I figured out what Muppets were, well let's just say I 'had them for dinner'.

_(earlier)_

_(Chotazu and the Muppets are sitting around a table)_

KERMIT: Wow Chotazu, it sure was nice of you to have us for dinner, this pheasant is quite delicious, and you prepared it so well.

FOZZY: I'll say.

CHOTAZU: Aww, thanks guys _(Blushes)_

KERMIT: Can someone pass the potatoes?

_(Back with the Z fighters)_

VEGETA: _(Staring at Bulmo)_ Bulma? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!

BULMO: THAT CRAZY VOICE TURNED ME INTO A MAN AND THEN FAIRIES KIDNAPPED ME.

VEGETA: Oh well this is just great.

_(Then Tien, who is in the Fenton Thermos, hops in)_

CHOTAZU: HOLY CRAP!! That soup can is moving!

GOKU: Yum, soup! _(Goes to eat the 'soup'.)_

TIEN: _(From inside the can)_ Don't even think about it.

GOKU: AAAH TALKING SOUP!!

GOHAN: No Dad, it's just Tien!

GOKU: Oh, hey Tien, do you know you're in a thermos.

TIEN: _(Sarcastically)_ No Goku I didn't, thanks for telling me.

GOKU: _(Grinning)_ No prob!

_(Then Yamcha runs in)_

YAMCHA: VEGETA, MY LOVE!! KISS ME!!

VEGETA: Hmm, Okay! _(Kisses Yamcha)_

BULMO: VEGETA!! WHAT THE HELL?!

VEGETA: _(Stops kissing Yamcha, who faints)_ WHAAAT? You're a guy now, I was gonna have to go gay anyway!

_(Then Broly flies in)_

BROLY: BROLY BACK WITH DODO BIRD!! _(Holds up 'Dodo Bird' proudly.)_

GOHAN: Uhhhh…Broly, that's not a Dodo Bird, that's a rock.

BROLY: _(Looks at rock) _Oh darn it, Broly thought rock was dodo bird, and Broly look all over Pluto.

GOKU: Pluto?

BROLY: DUH! Everypeople know Dodo Bird on Pluto!

GOKU: _(Scoffs)_ That's just an old legend. Dodo Birds live on Jupiter!

BROLY: Really?

GOKU: Yeah, everyone knows that, right guys?

EVERYONE ELSE: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhyeeeeeeeeeaaaah.

BROLY: OKAY, BROLY GO TO JUPITER, BRING BACK DODO BIRD!!

_(Broly flies out the window. Then Cell and Freiza come in)_

VEGETA: You guys were tortured too huh?

CELL and FREIZA: Yup

CELL: She made me sing and dance! _(Starts crying)_ IT WAS HORRIBLE!! **(Sobs)**

GOKU: _(Trying to comfort Cell)_ Hey now, it'll be okay.

FREIZA: Ptf, What a baby.

PICCOLO: So what did the voice do to you?

FREIZA: Well I left in the middle so she couldn't do too much to me.

GOTEN: So then where've you been.

FREIZA: _(Evil look)_ Well let's just say I was out 'killing'.

_(Earlier)_

FRIEZA: …and so the duck says, 'just put it on my bill'

RANDOM PERSON 1: _(Laughing) _Th-that's a good one.

RANDOM PERSON 2: You're killing me Freiza.

FREIZA:_ (Grinning)_ I know right?

_(Back with the Z fighters)_

GOHAN: Say, where's Mom?

GOKU: Yeah, and where's Hercule and Videl?

KRILLEN: and Android 18?

_(Then they hear a whistling sound)_

GOKU: What is that?

_(Suddenly, Hercule crashes through the roof.)_

EVERYONE: HOLY CRAP!!

HERCULE: Ow.

_(Then Videl walks in.)_

VIDEL: Oh my head, I feel as if a strange shadowy girl put a mind control device on me and made me act like an idiot before I was blown up by a crazy voice.

GOHAN: Hey Videl.

VIDEL: _(Notices Gohan's a dog)_ What the hell?

GOHAN: Don't ask.

_(Then Android 18, Android 17, and Android 16 walk in)_

VEGETA: We were wondering were you guys were.

GOKU: Did you get tortured too?

ANDROID 18: Yes…AND STRUCK BY LIGHTNING!

ANDROID 17: I got beaten up by some big guy with wings!

ANDROID 16: _(Confused)_ Tortured?

_(Then Chi-chi comes in)_

GOKU: Hey Chi-chi, where have you been.

CHI-CHI:_ (Trying to stay calm)_ Well Goku honey, the Voice took my Ritalin, and then I blew up. Then I somehow came down and was pretty angry. So I decided to take it out on random strangers.

GOKU: How?

CHI-CHI: _(Evil look) _Well let's just say I 'really tore into them'

_(earlier)_

CHI-CHI: (Is standing on a pile of bodies) YEAH THAT'S (BLEEP)ING RIGHT, I ACTUALLY KILLED PEOPLE, WITH THIS CHAINSAW!! (Pulls out a chainsaw and turns it on) NO FIGURATIVE TRANSLATION HERE, NOW GET BACK TO READING THE ACTUAL (BLEEP)ING STORY BEFORE I CHAINSAW YOU (Waves her chainsaw at the readers)

_(Back with the Z fighters)_

GOKU: _(Steps slowly away from Chi-chi.)_

KRILLEN: Soooo…is that everybody?

VEGETA: No, she also tortured Dende, Kami, Baby, the Ginyu Force, Bra, for the love of god she even got Shenlong!!

GOKU: So where are they?

TRUNKS: Yeah, I haven't them in a long time.

_(Then they hear footsteps)_

GOHAN: What was that?

_(They get louder)_

TRUNKS: It's coming closer.

_(Louder)_

KRILLEN: I'm scared.

_(Then the doors and windows all shatter and the strange people from the previous three chapter spill in.)_

DBZ CHARACTERS: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!

_(They all run, and the people chase them, they keep running until they reach a large house.)_

GOKU: _(Reading a sign in front of the house)_ Hm…"This house and everything in it belongs to Artemis Day. The house is Artemis's, if your things fall on Artemis's property, then they are now Artemis's, so tough luck Jack!! Signed, Artemis Day." …I wonder who lives here.

VEGETA: Let's just go in.

_(They start for the door until Cell frantically stop them)_

CELL: NO DON'T!!

VEGETA: What the hell is wrong with you?

CELL: THERE'S A GIANT LASER BEAM THAT'LL KILL US IF WE TRY AND GO IN!!

VEGETA: Don't be stupid _(Opens the door)._

CELL: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

_(Then out of the ground pops…a sign?)_

GOKU: A sign?

GOTEN: _(Reading sign) _"On vacation, back in one week?" Where the hell does a giant laser go on vacation?

_(Meanwhile on a tropical island)_

GIANT LASER: Ahhh…this is the life _(Sips a fruit drink), _this is just about perfect.

_(Then Darth Vader, Han Solo, and Chewbacca walk by. The laser vaporizes them.)_

GIANT LASER: NOW it's perfect.

_(Back with the Z Fighters)_

GOKU: Let's go!

_(They all run into the house and lock the door, but in the distance they can hear the people coming.)_

VEGETA: Who the hell were those people?

GOTEN: I don't know, but they moved so slow, like Zombies or something.

TIEN: Maybe they are Zombies.

ANDROID 17: But what do they want with us?

CELL: Who cares, _(Pulls a door open)_ let's just find a place to- AAAAAAAAAAH!!

OTHER DBZ CHARACTERS: AAAAAAH!!

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(From in the closet Cell just opened)_ Hey, this is our hiding place, go find your own!

FRIEZA: Ah hah!! So there you are crazy voice.

ARTEMIS: When not in the studio, it's Artemis if you please.

FRIEZA: Whatever, now we can all get our revenge on you for torturing us, right guys?

CHI-CHI: SCREW** (bleep)**ING REVENGE, WE GOTTA HIDE FROM THOSE- WHATEVER THEY ARE.

DANNY: You mean the creatures chasing us? Don't you know?

GOKU: Know who they are? No, do you?

ARTEMIS: Unfortunately yes_ (Her voice becomes grave)_ we know very well.

_(Everyone is now listening intently)_

VEGETA: Well who are they?

ARTEMIS: They have many names, all so terrible and evil I can't bear to speak them aloud, they are truly the ultimate evil.

GOKU: _(Gasps)_ You mean Ginny?

ARTEMIS: No, even more evil than Ginny.

VEGETA: Mary-Sues?

ARTEMIS: No, more evil than Mary-Sues!

ANDROID 17: _(Gasps as well)_ The IRS?

ARTEMIS: MORE EVIL THAN THE IRS!!

ANDROID 17: WHAT COULD BE MORE EVIL THAN THE IRS?!

ARTEMIS: Only one force in this universe.

PICCOLO: _(Choked gasp)_ No, you can't possibly mean-

ARTEMIS: I do.

_(A loud banging at the front door accompanied by the sounds of cheesy pop music. Another bang!)_

EVERYONE: HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL ZOMBIE!!

Insert 'Dun Dun Duuuuuun

THAT'S RIGHT, HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL HAS USED IT'S DEMONIC POWERS TO BRING ITSELF AND IT'S CHARACTERS BACK TO LIFE AFTER BEING DESTROYED BY ARTEMIS DAY IN CHAPTER 23. WILL SHE, DANNY THE GHOST GOBLIN, THE SHADOWY FIGURE, AND THE DBZ CAST BE ABLE TO DEFEAT THE HSM ZOMBIES? WILL THEY EVER FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TORTURE VICTIMS WHO DIDN'T COME BACK? WILL THE SHADOWY FIGURE'S TRUE IDENTITY EVER BE REVEALED? WILL-

DANNY: Uh…Artemis?

ARTEMIS: What?

DANNY: Why are you shouting at the readers?

ARTEMIS: …I don't know actually.

DANNY: …whatever, To Be Continued.


	36. Finale Part 2

Previously on DBZ Know Your Stars

**Previously on DBZ Know Your Stars...**

DOCTOR: Miss Day, Mister Ghost Goblin, I'm afraid that The Shadowy Figure has slipped into a coma.

DANNY:_ (Sobs) _WHYYYY?

* * *

GOHAN: _(Interrogating Cell and Frieza)_ Are you guys gonna tell me where the money is or am I gonna have to force you? _(Holds a gun to Frieza's head)_

FRIEZA: _(Spits at Gohan)_

* * *

_(Goku and Vegeta are fighting on top of a tall building; Vegeta knocks Goku to the ground and they roll around still fighting until they both fall of the building.)_

GOKU and VEGETA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

* * *

GOTEN: _(Crying over Trunks dead body) _NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

* * *

ANDROID 17: _(In front of the broken Statue of Liberty)_ YOU MANIAC'S!! YOU'VE BLOWN IT UP!! _(Falls to his knees and beats the ground)_ AH DAMN YOUUUUUUU!! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!! **(R.I.P. Charlton Heston)**

* * *

JUROR: On charges of murder in the first degree, murder in the second degree, voluntary manslaughter, involuntary manslaughter, and wearing stupid pants, we find the defendant, Broly J. Vandersnorkle…GUILTY!!

_(Judge bangs his gavel.)_

BROLY: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

* * *

DANNY: …wait a minute, Artemis?!

ARTEMIS: What now?

DANNY: None of that stuff happened!!

ARTEMIS: …what's your point?

DANNY: Look can we just get on with the chapter?

ARTEMIS: Alright alright… _(Muttering) _killjoy.

DANNY: I HEARD THAT!!

* * *

EVERYONE: HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL ZOMBIES!!

DANNY: We heard you the first time.

_(From outside)  
_

ZAC EFRON ZOMBIE: Braaaaaains!

VANESSA HUDGENS ZOMBIE: Braaaaains!

CORBIN BLEU ZOMBIE: Get'cha heeeeeead…in the gaaaaaaame!

ALL ZOMBIES: We're aaaaaaaaall…in this togeeeeeeether!

_(Inside)_

GOTEN: _(Shaking Artemis)_ WHAT'LL WE DO!?

ARTEMIS: _(Annoyed) _Don't touch me.

VEGETA: There's got to be some way to stop those monsters.

SHADOWY FIGURE: Well if there was, don't you think we would have done it already instead of hiding?

BULMO: There's got to be a way, and when we have a problem, we turn to television for the answers!

_(Then Bulmo turns on the TV, a newscast is on.)_

ANCHORMAN: This just in, it seems that High School Musical has come back from the dead and is now terrorizing the world with its extremely annoying pop songs and clichés.

GOTEN: Well that's news to me.

EVERYONE ELSE: SHHHH!!

ANCHORMAN: Even worse, sources indicate that it is not just High School Musical characters that are now zombies; Hannah Montana is also a zombie!

_(Cut to shot of Hannah Montana zombie.)_

HANNAH MONTANA ZOMBIE: Best of booooooth Worlds!

GOTEN: OH GOD!!

SHADOWY FIGURE: SHUT UP!!

ANCHORMAN: In addition, several unidentified DBZ characters have also become zombies.

_(Cut to DBZ zombies.)_

ANDROID 17: Hey, there's Dr. Gero!

KRILLEN: and Baby!

GOKU: and Kami and Dende!

TRUNKS: and everyone else who didn't show up in the last chapter!

VEGETA: My god, their all zombies!

GOTEN: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!

SHADOWY FIGURE: DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU AGAIN?!

ANCHORMAN: …wait a moment, I'm getting an update here; it seems that there is a way to kill the zombies!

BULMO: Shhh! Quiet everyone!

ANCHORMAN: It seems the only effective way to destroy the zombies…is by removing the head or destroying the brain. I repeat, removing the head or destroying the brain. However if you don't to this immediately, and are exposed to their crappy songs for too long, you will become a High School Musical zombie yourself.

_(Then pop music starts playing on the TV)  
_

ANCHORMAN: What is that? Oh no! NO!! DON'T YOU COME NEAR MEE!

HSM ZOMBIES: We're aaaaall…in this togeeeeeether!

ANCHORMAN: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!! _(Screen goes blank.)_

EVERYONE: _(Stares wide-eyed at the screen.)_

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Faints.)_

ARTEMIS: Well, if we're going to destroy these guys, we're all going to have to be up for the challenge, so…

_(Then Gohan is turned back to normal.)_

GOHAN: FINALLY!!

ARTEMIS: Okay, and now Trunks.

_(Then Trunks is also turned back to normal.)_

TRUNKS: THANK GOD!!

ARTEMIS: Get Tien out of the thermos.

TIEN: _(Out of the Thermos)_ YES!!

ARTEMIS: Turn Bulmo back into Bulma.

BULMO WHO IS NOW BULMA: YIPPEE!! I'M BEAUTIFUL AGAIN!!

ARTEMIS: And of course, gotta take that love spell off Yamcha.

YAMCHA: (Has the love spell taken off, looks around confused) Where am I?

VEGETA: _(Absolutely floored.)_ Wait a minute, are you saying that this whole time, Yamcha's been chasing me and trying to kiss me because YOU PUT A SPELL ON HIM?!

ARTEMIS: Yep.

VEGETA: Okay, just checking.

DANNY: Uh, Artemis, don't you think you're forgetting something?

ARTEMIS: _(Looking confused)_ Like what?

DANNY: Oh I don't know like…turning me back into a person maybe…

ARTEMIS: Hm…nah.

DANNY: ARTEMIS!!

_(Then the door breaks open and the HSM Zombies start flooding in.)_

HSM ZOMBIES: GET CHA HEEEEEEEEAD…IN THE GAAAAAAME!!

EVERYONE ELSE: AAAAAAAAAAAH!!

_(Then a bunch of shotguns appear in the room.)_

ARTEMIS: QUICK EVERYONE, GRAB A GUN!!

_(Everyone grabs a gun.)_

ARTEMIS: Okay, on 3 we start shooting _(Aims her weapon, the rest follow suit.) _1…2…3! FIRE!!

_(They open fire. Twenty Zombies go down immediately but many others make it through the rain of bullets. The Corbin Bleu Zombie attacks Yamcha who clubs him in the head with the butt of his gun and the Zombie goes down; Yamcha shoots it just to be sure. The Zac Efron and Ashley Tisdale Zombies start fighting with Goku and Vegeta who eventually decide to abandon their firearms and instead blast the Zombies's heads off with energy blasts. Several other DBZ Characters see this and those who can do it as well. The Vanessa Ann Hudgens Zombie is then massacred by Chi-chi who has gotten a hold of her chainsaw. She then starts running through the sea of zombies with her chainsaw slicing heads every which way, clearly enjoying this waaaay too much. Andriods 16, 17 and 18 are grouped together killing as many zombies as they can as are Gohan, Goten, and Trunks, and Artemis, Danny, and the Shadowy Figure. Krillen has just killed his twelfth zombie when he notices Tien has fainted.)_

KRILLEN: Tien! _(Runs over to him and shoots a Zombie that was about the attack him)_

TIEN: ooooooh.

KRILLEN: Hang in there Tien!!

CHOTAZU: What happened?

KRILLEN: I don't know but we have to get out of here!!

VIDEL: _(Having overheard)_ He's right, we're running out of ammo, we need to escape now!!

ARTEMIS: _(Opening a secret door on the floor) _Quick everyone!! To the bomb shelter!!

_(Artemis, Danny, The Shadowy Figure, and the DBZ Characters all jump into the bomb shelter and manage to shut and lock the door before any HSM Zombies can get in.)  
_

ARTEMIS: That will only hold them for a little while…is everyone okay?

EVERYONE ELSE: No.

ARTEMIS: Good, now let's reload and get our strength back, because we're going to need it.

TIEN: _(Waking up)_ Oh man, what happened?

CHOTAZU: You fainted.

TIEN:_ (Rubbing his head) _The last thing I remember is hearing that stupid HSM Music, and now my head hurts like hell.

ARTEMIS: _(Stares at Tien wide-eyed, then cocks her gun and aims at him)_

CHOTAZU:_ (Sees what she's doing and freaks out.) _WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

ARTEMIS: He's heard their song; he'll become one of them!! We have to kill him.

VEGETA: …she may be right.

TIEN: Don't I get a say in this?

CHOTAZU:_ (Moves in front of Tien) _You stay the hell away from him!!

ARTEMIS: HE'S GOING TO BECOME ONE OF THEM!!

CHOTAZU: I DON'T CARE!!

DANNY: Wow, this is a lot of drama for a humor/parody/crack!fic.

SHADOWY FIGURE: I know.

_(Then they hear banging on the ceiling, the HSM Zombies are trying to get in!)_

GOTEN: OH GOD THEY'RE COMING!! WHAT DO WE DO?!

SHAODWY FIGURE: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!

GOKU: We're just going to have to keep fighting, and maybe we can defeat them!

DANNY: Oh sure, we can beat those things, and Chotazu over here is straight!

CHOTAZU: Hey!!

DANNY: Let's just face it, _(Starts crying)_ we'll never beat those monsters! We're all gonna die or become Zombies! AND I DON'T KNOW WHICH IS WORSE!!

_(The Shadowy Figure tries to comfort Danny.)_

TIEN: Come on guys, we can beat them, we just have to get ours heads in the game.

_(Everyone stops what they're doing and looks at Tien.)_

ARTEMIS: What did you say?

TIEN: I just said we need to get our heads in the game, because we're all in this together…uh oh.

ARTEMIS: _(Re-aims her gun and shoots Tien's head off)_ That was close.

CHOTAZU: OH MY GOD!! YOU KILLED TIEN!!

_(Meanwhile)_

KYLE: You Bastard!!

_(Back with the Z Fighters)_

HSM ZOMBIES: _(From above the Z fighters) _GET CHA HEEEEEEEAD…IN THE GAAAAAAAAME!!

**(A/N: From here on in please imagine some really dramatic music playing)**

ARTEMIS: They're coming.

DANNY: This is it isn't it?

ARTEMIS: Yes…the final battle…everyone get ready.

_(Everyone who still has one cocks their guns.)_

ARTEMIS: Oh Danny?

DANNY: Yeah?

_(Danny is then, finally, changed back into a human.)  
_

ARTEMIS: Since we're all probably going to die horrible, painful deaths, and then have our organs feasting upon by ravenous zombies, I thought you might like to be your normal self again when it happens.

DANNY: _(Deeply touched) _Thanks Artemis…maybe you're not as insane as everyone thinks you are.

ARTEMIS: …yes I am Danny, yes I am.

_(Then the bomb shelter door breaks open and the Zombies start pouring in.)_

ARTEMIS: Okay everyone, this is it. Let's kick some ass…

* * *

**TO BE CONCLUDED!!  
**

**NEXT TIME ON DBZ KNOW YOUR STARS! THE FINAL BATTLE BETWEEN GOOD AND HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL WILL BE DECIDED!**

ARTEMIS: DON'T BREAK RANK!! WE CAN STILL BEAT THEM!!

DANNY: AAAAAAHH!!

ARTEMIS: HANG IN THERE DANNY!!

**THE PERSON BEHIND THIS INVASION OF ZOMBIES WILL BE REVEALED!!**

ARTEMIS: You…I should have known you'd be the one behind this!!

**AND FINALLY, AFTER 16 LONG CHAPTER…**

SHADOWY FIGURE: It's time you all learned…THE TRUTH!! _(Steps out of the shadows)_

_(Everyone gasps)_

VEGETA: My god it's-

**ALL NEXT TIME IN THE EXCITING CONCLUSION OF…DBZ KNOW YOUR STARS!!**


	37. Finale Part 3

_(This is a public service announcement)_

ARTEMIS: Hi, I'm Artemis Day.

DANNY: I'm Danny Phantom

SHADOWY FIGURE: And I'm the Shadowy Figure.

ARTEMIS: We like to have a lot of laughs here at DBZ Know Your Stars, but today we want to talk about a very serious problem…High School Musical Zombies.

DANNY: As if the movie and numerous adaptations weren't bad enough, imagine having to deal with Zombified versions of them.

SHADOWY FIGURE: And seeing as Zombies are supposed to be totally awesome movie monsters, HSM Zombies give Zombies a bad name.

ARTEMIS: So remember, if you ever see a HSM Zombie, run away screaming, or else you will become a HSM Zombie yourself, and nobody wants to be an HSM Zombie.

DANNY: This has been a public service announcement.

SHADOWY FIGURE: And now back to your regularly scheduled fic.

* * *

_(The Z Fighters, Artemis Day, Danny, and the Shadowy Figure are ready to fight the zombies who have just gotten into the bomb shelter.)_

ARTEMIS: Get ready everyone…CHAAAARGE!!

_(They charge. Goku takes out five zombies immediately, another one attacks him from behind but he throws him off and continues fighting. Vegeta just randomly blasts at them while Chi-chi has once again gotten her chainsaw out. Krillen and 18 are having a tag-team fight with two zombies and the Shadowy Figure has just taken down two more. Danny is throwing ecto-blasts at them every which way until a bunch of them dog-pile him. 17 and 16 kill a zombie that was attacking Bulma and Gohan and Goten kill seven zombies each. More just seem to keep coming though.)_

ARTEMIS: DON'T BREAK RANK!! WE CAN STILL BEAT THEM!!

DANNY: _(Is trying to fight off the zombies that attacked him before) _AAAAAAHH!!

ARTEMIS: HANG IN THERE DANNY!!

SHADOWY FIGURE: THERE'S TOO MANY!!

VEGETA: WE CAN'T FIGHT THEM FOREVER!!

ARTEMIS: THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME WAY TO BEAT THEM!!

HSM ZOMBIES: WE'RE AAAAAAALL…IN THIS TOGEEEEEETHER!

DANNY: DAMN THEM AND THEIR CHEESY POP MUSIC!!

ARTEMIS: WAIT, THAT'S IT!!

_(Artemis fights through a sea of Zombies in order to get to the giant stereo system which just appeared. Artemis puts a CD in and turns on the Stereo at full blast.)_

ARTEMIS: Alright Zombies, you like music so much? Well then feel the power of…LED ZEPPELIN!!  
_  
(Then Led Zeppelin starts playing.)_

HSM ZOMBIES: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! IT BUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!! _(Then the remaining Zombies all die.)_

DANNY: …I can't believe it. _(To Artemis) _How did you know?

ARTEMIS: Elementary my dear Phantom, you see, High School Musical music is so unbelievably bad, the only thing that could truly defeat them would be some unbelievably good music, like Led Zeppelin!

SHADOWY FIGURE: _(Slaps herself on the head)_ DAMN! Why didn't I think of that?

_(Then there is a huge explosion which knocks everyone back)_

GOKU: Shenlong?

VEGETA: Shenlong's here?

ARTEMIS: Oh hey Shenlong, I thought I blew you up.

SHENLONG: You did, but I am the immortal dragon, I cannot be killed by anything!

DANNY: But what about in Dragon Ball when you-

SHENLONG: Shut up! As I was saying, I came because I wanted to thank you for destroying High School Musical, for your bravery, I shall grant you one free wish.

ARTEMIS: Really?

Shenlong: Not to you.

ARTEMIS: _(Under her breath)_ Bitch.

SHENLONG: I HEARD THAT!!

GOKU: Shenlong, I wish everything was back to normal.

SHENLONG: Granted, I'm outta here. _(Shenlong leaves in another explosion. Then all the DBZ characters who were zombiefied come back.)_

TIEN: Hey, I'm back!

CHOTAZU: TIEN!! _(Jumps on Tien and kisses him full on the mouth, then after he realizes what he's doing, breaks the kiss and moves away) _Uh, I mean, good to have you back guy.

ARTEMIS: Oooookay.

BARDOCK: What's going on?

GOKU: DADDY!!

_(Runs over and hugs Bardock.)_

BARDOCK: Umm…why is he hugging me?

ARTEMIS: Because I wanted to add a little Bardock moment for KidGoku13.

DANNY: Well, I'm glad that's over, I just wish I knew who brought HSM People back in the first place.

ARTEMIS: …do you even have to ask?

_(Then another explosion which knocks everyone back, this time the ground splits open and a huge column of rock comes out, and at the top…)_

ARTEMIS: Ginny…I should have known you'd be the one behind this!

GINNY: YES IT'S TRUE! I BROUGHT HIGH SCHOOL MUSCIAL BACK FROM THE DEAD! I TURNED THEM INTO ZOMBIES! I SET THEM AFTER YOU ALL! I AM THE REASON WALDO IS HIDING! I FRAMED ROGER RABBIT! I SHOT THE SHERIFF!! _(Singing)_ BUT I DID NOT SHOOT THE DEPUTAY!!

ARTEMIS: You are fcking crazy!

GINNY: Thank you! I'm sure you already know my brother Ron and his girlfriend Hermione.

RON: _(Waves)_

HERMIONE: _(Sulks)_

GINNY: And of course my boyfriend Harry, who has clearly not been given a heavy dose of love potion, right schnookins?

HARRY: _(In a trance-like state)_ yes my wonderful, amazing, beautiful, intelligent, Ginny-baby.

ARTEMIS and HERMIONE: _(Give Ginny death glares)_

DANNY: geezus, why don't you just stay dead?

_(Ginny, Harry, Ron, and Hermione come down from the rock column)_

GINNY: Because I'm evil, and true evil can survive anything…EVEN LED ZEPPELIN!!

SHADOWY FIGURE: NOOOOOO!!

ARTEMIS: Calm down Shadowy Figure…there is still one way to defeat Ginny…

GINNY: What are you nuts, you've done everything to kill me, and still I keep coming back, what more can you do to me?

ARTEMIS: Oh you really want to know?

GINNY: _(Folding her arms over her chest) _Yes I do.

ARTEMIS: Okay then. _(Then a bucket appears in Artemis's hands)_

GINNY: _(Starting to look nervous) _What are you doing with that?

ARTEMIS: Killing the evil witch! _(Then Artemis pours the contents of the bucket, Water, on Ginny)_

GINNY: _(Melting) _AAAAAAH!! I'M MELTING!! I'M MELTING!!

DANNY: Oh come on, not another Wizard of Oz reference!!

ARTEMIS: Hey it could be worse, it could be a Scooby-Doo reference.

DANNY: Good point.

GINNY: _(Still melting) _AAAAAAAAAAAHH! _(Melts completely)_

ARTEMIS: …it's over, she's finally dead.

_(Then Broly flies in and lands on Ginny's remains, crushing them.)_

BROLY: ME BACK WITH DODO BIRD _(Shows them the Dodo Bird…which actually is a Dodo Bird!)_

ARTEMIS: Broly…where did you get that?

BROLY: Jupiter, that's where Dodo Birds live.

GOKU: I KNEW IT!!

ARTEMIS: …Okay great Broly, now go back to Jupiter, and find me a Dodo Bird that speaks Japanese.

BROLY: OKAY, BROLY GETS!!  
_  
(Then Broly flies away again)_

HARRY: _(Now that Ginny is gone for good, the potion wears off) _Hey, the potions effects are gone! I'm free! Now I can go back to my life and continue making out with Hermione in broom closets behind Ron's back.

RON: Yeah he can- Wait WHAT?!

HARRY: Uh, did I say 'Making out with Hermione?' I meant making…uh…LOOK A MONKEY!!

_(Ron looks; Harry runs)_

HERMIONE: WAIT UP HARRY!! _(Runs after him)_

ARTEMIS: YIPEE!!_ (Dances)_

VEGETA: _(To Danny)_ What's she so happy about?

DANNY: She's an H/HR Shipper.

RON: _(Sadly) _Great, now I've lost my girlfriend, what do I do now?

_(Then Luna Lovegood appears)_

ARTEMIS: Ron, have you met Luna Lovegood?

LUNA: Hi Ron.

RON: AAAAAH!! _(Runs, Luna chases him)_

DANNY: Well, I guess that's it then.

ARTEMIS: NOT SO FAST!!

DANNY: What?

ARTEMIS: This whole thing was really part of my diabolical plan.

GOKU: _(Gasps)_ Diabolical plan?

ARTEMIS: That's right, for you see, I have had a top-secret plan that I have been keeping from Danny for many many chapters, and now it's time to reveal it, Danny?

DANNY: _(Looking fearful) _Yes?

ARTEMIS: Tonight you will be going on a fabulous dream date with...EMBER McCLAIN!!

DANNY: WHAT?!

_(Then Ember flies in and grabs Danny.)_

EMBER: Hi baby.

DANNY: Ember, you don't actually want to date me do you?

EMBER: Of course I do, and afterwards, we can go back to my place and- _(Whispers in his ear.)_

DANNY: _(His eyes widen and he starts grinning stupidly)_ Dream date it is then!

EMBER: _(Hugs him tighter)_ YAY!! LET'S GO!!

SHADOWY FIGURE: NOT SO FAST!!

VEGETA: Oh now what?

SHADOWY FIGURE: This has all really been part of MY diabolical plan, to set the stage for this moment!!

GOKU: _(Gasps) _This moment?

SHADOWY FIGURE: Yes, for it's time you are learned…THE TRUTH! _(Then finally, after 15 chapters, the Shadowy Figure…steps out of the shadows.)_

EVERYONE: _(Gasps)_

VEGETA: My god!

GOHAN: I can't believe it.

GOKU: It's-

CELL: It's-

GOTEN: It's-

DANNY: Oh just say it already!!

EVERYONE: PAN!!  
_  
(Thunder and lighting!!)_

PAN: YES!! IT IS I, PAN!! THE TRUE IDENTITY OF THE SHADOWY FIGURE!!

GOHAN: You mean all this time it's been you?

PAN: That's right!

VIDEL: You put the mind control device on me? But why? I'm your mother!!

PAN: Yeah, and you made me eat broccoli! You had to be stopped.

GOHAN: Well I am very disappointed in you Pan, you are going to be grounded for this.

PAN: …Aw shit, well at least nobody figured out my identity.

DANNY: Actually, brenthforever figured it out.

ARETMIS: Oh yeah, I owe them a cookie _(Gives brenthforever a cookie) _there you go!

PAN: That's great but I'm still grounded _(Sulks)_

ARTEMIS: Don't worry about, you'll be okay.

PAN: How do you know?

ARTEMIS: Because this is all part of MY OTHER DIABOLCAL PLAN!!

GOKU: _(Gasps)_ Your other diabolical pla-

ARTEMIS: YES MY OTHER DIABOLICAL PLAN…FOR WORLD DOMINATION!!

_(More thunder and lighting)_

DANNY:…but how would any of this help you achieve world domination?

ARTEMIS: …I don't know, hm, back to the drawing board I guess.

VEGETA: …well let's go, this is getting too weird _(Then he, Bulma, Trunks, and Bra all leave.)_

FUTURE TRUNKS: I'm going back to my time. _(He leaves too)_

GOKU: Bye guys! _(Then he, Chi-chi, and Goten leave)_

GOHAN: Let's go Pan, you've got some serious grounding time to start.

PAN: Damn…_(To Artemis and Danny) _See you later guys!

DANNY: Bye Shadowy Figure, I mean Pan.

ARTEMIS: Bye Pan.

_(Then Pan, Gohan, and Videl leave. One by one the other DBZ Characters leave as well until only Artemis, Danny and Ember are left.)_

EMBER: Well, time for our dream date!

DANNY: YAY!! _(Looks at Artemis)_ I mean, oh no not that, whatever shall I do?

_(Then they leave)_

ARTEMIS: Well, I guess I'll go watch TV or something.

_(Then Broly comes back, again)_

BROLY: BROLY FIND JAPANESE DODO BIRD!! _(Hold outs the new Dodo Bird)_

DODO BIRD: Konichiwa.

ARTEMIS: _(Stares, then slaps her hand to her head)_ Ah Goddammit.

* * *

Epilogue:

**Goku** went back home and continued being his same old loveable self…although he developed a tendency to hide in a corner and cry if anyone uttered the word 'fangirl' around him.

**Vegeta **finally sought help for his anger issues after stubbing his toe and taking it out on Australia (long story). However he blew up the anger management clinic after only two days…he is now a marriage counselor.

**Gohan **single-handedly led the campaign to stop evil vets from 'fixing' dogs…he now works as an eco-terrorist for PETA and is still married to Videl.

**Trunks **had to start seeing a shrink after developing a fear of undergarments. His doctor told him that his only hope was would be to face that fear, so Trunks spent the next few years living in a lingerie store…he is now a hobo.

**Goten **went on a 'secret' mission to rescue Mr. Fluffywaffles from St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Make-Believe Chipmunks…he was never heard of again.

**Piccolo **never got over his experiences at the North Pole...he eventually converted to Judaism and is much happier now.

**Bulma **went on David Letterman and made a public apology for enslaving the fairies and promised to never do it again…she has since enslaved the pixies.

**Cell **moved to Las Vegas and became a black jack dealer…strippers tend to turn up missing at the casino he works in.

**Frieza **went back to his home planet, married a nice alien girl and had three kids…Yeah, I find it too normal as well.

**Chi-chi **went to jail about a year later after massacring 700 people in a mall. Goku was not too upset about this because it turned out that 73 percent of her victims were fangirls…Chi-chi got life in prison and is still there today.

**Android 16 **moved to L.A. and became a drug dealer after his girlfriend got him hooked on smack…he has his headphones on too much to notice though.

**Android 17 **wrote a book about his experiences which became a best-seller. It was later picked up for a major motion picture…however 17 found out that Matthew McConaughey was to be portraying him in it and committed suicide.

**Android 18 **is still with Krillen although they have been having some marital problems. Fortunately, they've started seeing a marriage counselor…unfortunately, it's Vegeta.

**Master Roshi **became a fitness instructor at Club Med…he was later hospitalized from serious blood loss due to a nose-bleed.

**Yamcha **avoided Vegeta forever, which wasn't hard since Vegeta did the same…Yamcha is now a male stripper.

**Krillen **eventually lost his hair for real…he is now a spokesman for the Hair Club for Men.

**Tien **went to Amity Park to hunt down Jack Fenton, however they ended up getting drunk and sleeping together…Tien is now in therapy.

**Chotazu **finally came out of the closet…he is now dating Tom Cruise.

**Broly **never regained the intelligence he briefly displayed in his chapter and remained a moronic caveman forever…he is now a Philosophy Professor at Oxford.

**Dende **is still the guardian of earth although he has recently begun moonlighting as an Elvis Impersonator…Hercule is suing him for stealing his dream.

**Kami **went back to being a part of Piccolo…not really much to be said here.

**Vegitto **and **Gogeta **never returned from their 'honeymoon'…no one is particularly eager to go look for them.

**Gotenks **was never heard of again…neither were the Mary-Sues.

**Hercule **became a Buddhist and moved to India to become a Monk. He has recently agreed to participate in a demonstration involving Self-Immolation…we're pretty sure he doesn't know what that is.

**Videl **became an eco-terrorist for PETA along with her husband…she has since developed a strange love for dogs.

**Majin Buu **went on to eat Texas and Paris Hilton…let's have a moment of silence for Texas.

**Baby **began an acting career and stared in 'Baby Geniuses 3', which bombed hard. He was then arrested on drunk driving charges and spent several weeks in rehab…he is now a born-again Christian.

**Babidi **did a spread for playgirl…it was their hottest selling issue ever, even though it caused internal bleeding in some readers.

**Lunch **got in touch with her evil side and now lives in Hawaii…there has been reports of a serial killer loose in Hawaii right now.

**Bra **is now an exotic dancer in Reno… yes; they do call her 'Wonder Bra'.

**The Ginyu Force **ended up as somebody's breakfast…except of course for Captain Ginyu who is still a snail.

**Future Trunks **went back to his time and joined the Foreign Legion to avoid the angry mob…he went to Africa but ended up being chased by an angry mob there.

**Bardock **was on Maury along with Goku to discuss bad fathers. He and Goku now have a much stronger relationship…although he seems to think Goku's name is Donald Duck, we're not sure why.

**Dr. Gero **went back to work on Androids and created Android 21…unfortunately, all it was good for in the end was making green Jell-O salad; Gero is now a pimp.

**Ginny **went to Hell. However she enjoyed it there too much so Satan had her sent to Heaven…she is now working for Saddam Hussein in his "Chocolate Chip Factory".

**Pan, A.K.A. The Shadowy Figure **was grounded for two weeks for participating in the torture of her fellow DBZ Characters. After her parents joined PETA, Pan ran away and now lives in New York City where she works as a prize fighter…she still keeps in touch with Danny and Artemis.

**Danny **married Ember after dating her for several years. They live in the ghost zone and have three kids, all of whom love the movie 'Labyrinth' and watch it repeatedly…Danny now suffers from ulcers.

**Artemis Day **achieved her dreams of World Domination…we must all bow down to THE SUPREME RULER OF THE WORLD ARTEMIS DAY!!

…and they all lived happily ever after…except of course for Ginny…HAHA!!

THE END

* * *

**A/N: Time to say goodbye guys, sorry it had to end, but all good things must end eventually, like Spider-man and Mary Jane's marriage…HOW DARE THEY SPLIT THEM UP!! (Calms down) Excuse me. Well, bye guys, it's been fun. **


	38. Announcement

I couldn't resist posting an omake file for this story

I couldn't resist posting an omake file for this story. It's up now so check it out if you want.


End file.
